I seem to remember Poch saying something about Trippier last season...about how he had a newborn at home and hadn't been getting much sleep. He wasn't being picked to start because his mind was not 100% focused and he had irregular sleep, as he was getting up at all times during the night.
We should test this out by adding a poll.
"If you had committed a Red Card offence but the referee mistakenly showed the card to Bus-Conductor, would you...?"
1) own up to the crime
2) allow Bus-Conductor to take the walk of shame
I think you are on to something here. They could line up a pack of numbered dogs on the touchline and when the voice announces over the tannoy: "Release the hounds!" everyone could start betting on which number would be first to come away with the perp's genitals.