Such Small Portions
New Member
- Feb 17, 2011
- 117
- 0
We can still do it!!
- Thread starter hellava_tough
- Start date
walworthyid
David Ginola
- Oct 25, 2004
- 7,059
- 10,242
My pool supporting mate, who has no great love for spurs, was saying the other night that if any team could turn this around it was us. The great thing is that it is true, there are very few teams that would have the audacity to believe that they had a chance and the players know that. They believe that we have a chance.
I've got a strange feeling in my groin area that we are going to do something very special!
I've got a strange feeling in my groin area that we are going to do something very special!
Welshiespursboyo
Banned
- Feb 19, 2009
- 17,009
- 2,830
This. For once, I'm not nervous! So hopefully can relax and watch us going for broke!! Should be exciting stuff!
dav3j
SC Supporter
- Jan 28, 2011
- 2,995
- 760
Believe...
Nice :hump:
- Feb 1, 2005
- 19,120
- 6,003
- Staff
- #87
Meh. I prefer mine. :wink:
http://www.spurscommunity.co.uk/forums/showthread.php?t=72590&page=2
On the eve of the game, the squad is quietly celebrating Sebastien Bassong's belated birthday with a quiet night of charades and jelly and ice cream. Joe Jordan suddenly projectile vomits into Michael Dawson's nostrils and both individuals shit themselves. Before long half the squad has vile, putrid releases from every orifice.
Stipe Pletikosa, one of the unaffected few checks the box of jelly in the bin - disaster! It was out of date! “Sandro you ****, you were supposed to check that!”
“Sorry, lads. I thought when you said ‘check out the dates…’” as he pulls off the eight women in trashy white hot pants licking his body.
“No you cloth-eared wanker. Now you've poisoned the whole squad and we won’t have a team to play Real Madrid.” Says the captain.
“Actually, not all the squad, Ledley.” Says Plets. “You're not shitting your pants.”
Ledley grimaces. “No, but my knees are fucked and I can't walk. You don't seriously expect me to play this biggest game in the club's history.”
“If anyone can, you can Ledley.”
“But I’m in a wheelchair.”
“So’s Tanni Grey-Thompson.”
“She never had to defend against Cristiano Ronaldo.”
“Fuck off.”
“Fair enough”
So Ledley lined up. In his wheelchair. Alongside him just seven other players had not been affected by this gelatinous food poisoning. In goal was Stipe Pletikosa. The Club Secretary Darren Eales had pulled out all the stops and been franctically getting (non-Premier League) players back from loans and then getting permission from UEFA for them to play. The outfield players Tottenham were left with included Danny Rose, Ledley King, Sandro, Jake Livermore, Andros Townsend, Jermaine Jenas and Niko Kranjcar.
After careful consideration, Harry left Niko Kranjcar on the bench.
So seven players lined up for the big game. As they were walking out of the tunnel, the crowd were nervous. To be frank, they were skeptical about this side’s chances against one of the world’s finest ever football units that cost hundreds of millions of pounds to assemble and was managed by one of the greatest managers of the modern era. Spurs on the other hand had a man in a wheelchair, a Croatian goalkeeper who has gone so long between games he has forgotten which game it is he is playing, a collection of youngsters and, worst of all, Jermaine Jenas.
Two people in the crowd were in heated discussion. One was animatedly proving with a football stat app on his iPhone that Spurs still had more chance in this match because Michael Dawson wasn;t playing. “Fuck off, BC, you ****!” screamed WhiteStripe as he smashed the iPhone through the air. It hurtled towards the players and sacked Stipe Pletikosa across the bridge of his nose. His face swelled up and he became blinded. This was bad news.
Having located Oscar Jansson hiding under a table in the executive suite he was pushed into action with a last-minute change of keepers.
The game began and Real Madrid made a marginally stronger start. Within the first ten minutes they had managed 18 shots on goal and have 10 corners. Possession was 94%-6% in their favour. Ronaldo broke the deadlock after seal-kicking the ball into the top corner after a passing move when every player in the Madrid side touched the ball.
After that, Real were content to knock it about. All until three minutes before the break when Danny Rose hoofed the ball clear in his own area. The Real keeper was way off his line but just got back to push the massive shot over the bar. Danny Rose then took the corner himself and scored directly from it! 1-1!
Rose then turned provider when he went on a mazy run and chipped the ball back from the byline for Andros Townsend to scissor kick it past a wall of Madrid defenders. White Hart Lane erupted as the players went in for half time.
Harry, sensing something special, decided to bring on Niko for the second half. With eight men, Spurs started to get a grip on the game. Their possession went up to 20% for the first time. Niko beat 7 men and smashed his shot against the crossbar only for it to bounce out and Sandro – who had by this time covered 48 kilometres of White Hart Lane – produced a fine diving header to send the ball home and give Spurs a 3-1 lead.
The buzzing atmosphere quietened for just one minute and in the distance there came a distinct drum beat. A troupe of African dancers came down the tunnel and emerging from the group was Bongani Khumalo who had arrived from Preston. And just in time. Ledley’s wheels were beginning to give out. Khumalo joined the fray and shored up the Spurs defence immediately.
To try to snare a second away goal, Mourinho brought on Higuain who produced eighteen brilliant saves from Jansson before winning a free kick on the edge of the area. As Ronaldo began his run up, the crowd were distracted by the sight of a parachutist falling from the sky. What’s this? Why’s it happening now. In the blink of an eye, Harry screamed at the ref who acknowledged that, yes, the parachutists could join the play as Spurs 10th player. It was, of course, Giovani dos Santos, all the way from Spain, who was fully kitted up and who dropped perfectly to deflect Ronaldo’s free kick just as it was heading for the top corner.
From the resulting corner, Khumalo won a header and found Gio in space. The little Mexican run rings around the Madrid side then passed to Jermain Jenas who slammed it home. 4-1!
However, the joy was short lived as Jermaine Jenas picked up his second booking (his first was for a foul on Danny Rose) of the night and was sent off. Back down to nine men and still two goals to go.
Spurs had four minutes left when Giovani scored a magical solo goal and deep into injury time completed a 6-1 win that manager Harry Redknapp later described as “yeah, all right, wannit?” when Ledley King threw off his wheelchair and leapt highest to head home an Andros Townsend free kick.
Spurs went on to lose to Shaktar Donetsk in the semi final after the Ukrainians had beaten Barcelona 14-3 in the (replayed) second leg of their own semi-final.
Reids-Belly
The Qemist
- Sep 19, 2005
- 8,453
- 18
That is pure fucking genius :rofl:
mattyspurs
It is what it is
- Jan 31, 2005
- 15,280
- 9,893
I dunno Belly, I thought it was lacking in something..... effort, creativity maybe? ;-)
