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The Daily ITK Discussion Thread - MOVE THEM GOALS! 20th August 2012

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Archibald&Crooks

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Feb 1, 2005
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Morning all! After several weeks of nothing, we're fast approaching the final countdown now. There are still players to be signed and also moved on. It's gonna be a rollercoaster!

Yesterday I knocked on my neighbours door. "Sorry to bother you, but my toilet won't flush" I said......."is there any chance I could take a shit in yours?"

"Sure mate, top of the stairs on the left" he chuckled.

"Thanks" I smiled, "I'll be back in minute, the wife's still fishing it out"

Here's something to pass the time with.......

GOALPOSTS

Daniel Levy was sitting in the Lotus position, deep in meditation as he tried to decide what he was going to do in the last few days of the transfer window………..His concentration was broken by a knock on his office door. He opened it to find a stunning Spanish brunette standing there holding a laptop.

‘Hola……..I’m staying upstairs, for the Olympics……I see you have a great connecti…’ Levy slammed the door shut in her face. ‘Oh fuck off’

Levy was a worried man. He was well aware that this transfer window could very well make or break him. As he looked out from his office onto the pitch he saw two ground staff carrying one of them portable training goals. He picked up his phone and got put through to them on their walkie talkies.

‘Put it down where you are’ he ordered them. They looked at each other, shrugged and put down the goal. ‘Now pick it up and move it three feet to the left’ Levy ordered. ‘That’s right, now take it fifteen feet to your right’………….As he spoke, the buzzer went on his desk, ‘Me Levy, it’s Mr AVB here to see you’ said his secretary, a woman who, as seasoned thread watchers will remember, has extraordinarily large breasts and goes like a rattlesnake.

AVB walked into the office, Levy motioned for him to take a seat. ‘I’ll be with you in a minute, just finishing something’……….AVB looked at him quizzically. ‘Ah……You’re moving the goalposts’ he laughed……’I thought that was just a saying made popular on Spurs Community?’

‘Those ****s!’ scowled Levy. ‘I hate them………..I hate them so much I sent an ITK in to drive them mad…..anyway, how do YOU know about them?’.

AVB smiled ‘It is well known that Spurs Community is a rich resource for scouting French African footballers’

Levy rolled his eyes. Just then his secretary walked in. Levy’s head bobbed up and down as he watched her massive tits bounce. She reminded him of that dirty bitch off of Sky Sports News. She handed him a sheet of paper. He took it and looked down at the latest report on ITK utterings.

‘That’s what I like to see’ laughed Levy. ‘Spurs Community are going insane talking about Lions’

AVB laughed. ‘Lions?’

Levy smiled again. ‘I told you I’ve got someone on the inside, they’ll spend weeks trying to be smart on this one, meanwhile, you tell me who you want and lets see if we can do a deal’

AVB wrote a name on a piece of paper and slid it across the desk to Levy.

‘Why the secrecy?’ asked Levy. ‘Well’ said AVB, word gets out easily and this way only me, you and A&C will know the name in question’

‘A&C?, how will that **** know what you’ve written?’ laughed Levy. ‘He’s about as ITK as what I curled out in the executive slash house this morning’

‘Two reasons’, replied AVB. ‘Firstly, he’s the one writing this story and second, remember Gylfi?’

‘OK then, so it’s between the three of us’……..Levy looked at the piece if paper and sighed. He picked up the phone again. ‘Put me through to those two ****s carrying that goal about again’
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Vwbottom

Well-Known Member
Aug 2, 2012
2,079
6,134
Heh Heh Heh, Nice one. And no mention of testi's either. Have a good day peeps. COYS
 

Sanj

Well-Known Member
Jun 22, 2003
1,680
1,130
Off on hols and a one week break from itk, how will I survive?
At least I can dream about the lion king signing for the next week and not have the dream poo-pooed during that time
 

$hoguN

Well-Known Member
Jul 25, 2005
26,626
34,700
Let's hope Ade gets announced today and we move closer to a few others
 

Bizness

Team Drama
Jan 10, 2007
2,342
1,414
Alex on FTL...

Topic: Hudds been told we want to send him on loan
Posted: Yesterday at 8:56pm
Aint gona mug the person off who told me, but its from a good source.
 

kelloggs

Well-Known Member
Dec 23, 2006
1,255
809
I reckon Ade announced on Friday. One, it will give the opposition less time to consider how to play against him should he start, and two it will keep this place at boiling point that bit longer.

No rest for us until 31/08!
 

moomin

Well-Known Member
Jul 21, 2011
1,950
2,899
Alex on FTL...

Topic: Hudds been told we want to send him on loan
Posted: Yesterday at 8:56pm
Aint gona mug the person off who told me, but its from a good source.
i wonder where to
 

nick04

Member
Aug 12, 2008
419
13
Alex on FTL...

Topic: Hudds been told we want to send him on loan
Posted: Yesterday at 8:56pm
Aint gona mug the person off who told me, but its from a good source.
good idea, so he can get fit again after so long off the pitch
 

Gedson100

Well-Known Member
Feb 13, 2012
4,487
14,648
Wasn't there ITK on Wham?

There was. Wake me up before he go goes. Hudd needs a new Club (Tropicana) and to find Freedom, not be one of the Bad Boys to get Everything (S)he Wants or he might Last (here until) Christmas o_O
 

spursfan77

Well-Known Member
Aug 13, 2005
46,680
104,957
Not sure about sending the Hudd out on loan. I guess though if hes been told hes not going to be a regular but wants first team football then it would make sense to send him out on loan. Especially if its only until Christmas as it will give him a chance to build up his match fitness. Thats if you can loan to other Premier League clubs for 6 months, not sure if it has to be a full season or not.
 

Gedson100

Well-Known Member
Feb 13, 2012
4,487
14,648
I'd be happy to send the Thudd on loan, just rather we didn't get rid full time. IMO he deserves the chance to prove he's still got it somewhere and if he has, he'd be an asset to us. If he goes out and is just moderate then fair enough, but I think it's too early to get rid entirely.
 

spud

Well-Known Member
Sep 2, 2003
5,850
8,794
So am I the only one who read 'Goalposts' and then looked to see the first letter of each paragraph?

I am?

Okay. :(
 

FreddieYid

Well-Known Member
Aug 1, 2011
1,369
4,020
To fit into AVB's system you certainly need to be fit. If loaning him out for 6 months, gets him match fit and gives him more chance of having a future with us, I'm all for it.
 

Archibald&Crooks

Aegina Expat
Admin
Feb 1, 2005
55,533
204,721
So am I the only one who read 'Goalposts' and then looked to see the first letter of each paragraph?

I am?

Okay. :(
I knew someone would :)

But will I be referring back to that post at some point? :D
 
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