5 New Words You Won’t Be Able to Support Spurs Without

Discussion in 'Columns' started by E.L.Strict, Jun 24, 2013.

  • by E.L.Strict, Jun 24, 2013 at 11:08 AM
  • E.L.Strict

    E.L.Strict Cerebral Houdini Staff

    Messages:
    5,638
    Media:
    20
    Albums:
    2
    Ratings Received:
    +1,513 / 30 / -2
    [​IMG]

    5 New Words You Won’t Be Able to Support Spurs Without


    1. Freundian Slip

    Noun

    A Freundian Slip is an unusual and exaggerated physical action or series of actions that reveal both the conscious and subconscious desires of an individual. Normally, a freundian slip involves the wiggling and waving of both arms and legs and the thrusting of the head towards an imaginary football. This phenomenon is named after the sideline antics of Spurs Assistant Head Coach Steffen Freund, who remains the only Spurs player to have never scored a subconscious goal for the club.

    2. Clintentional

    Adjective

    A Clintentional action is an action that is neither intended nor unintended until the point at which the outcome can be gauged as being positive or negative.

    “I played a precision through ball that clintentionally moved in the wind and looped in over the keeper’s head for the winning goal.”

    3. Adedextrous

    Adjective.

    An Adedextrous individual is somebody who has an incredibly erratic and unpredictable ability - with both feet. It is often not possible to deduce which of their feet is their preferred one due to the fact that they can appear both world class and totally useless with either.

    “John consolidated his claim as the most adedextrous player in his Power League team, smashing home a scintillating 30 yard volley just moments before breaking both ankles while failing to control a stationary ball.”

    4. Tabula Rasiak

    Noun

    Tabula Rasiak is an epistemological theory that Spurs fans are born with the subconscious awareness of the sufferings and hardships endured by fans before them. It states that this latent memory of the greatest legends and the most frustrating failures causes strong feelings of resentment and anger. Proponents of the theory argue that Tabula Rasiak explains the unusually high expectations and notable impatience that are prevalent amongst Spurs fans.

    5. Huddpocalypse

    Noun

    The Huddpocalypse is an end of the world scenario in which Tom Huddlestone’s goalless drought lasts so long that his afro grows to an unmanageable size and consumes the entire earth. It is speculated to occur at some point before 2025, and is widely accepted as the funkiest of all possible ends to humanity.

    [​IMG]
    Artists impression of the Huddpocalypse
     
    • Funny Funny x 35
    • Like Like x 11
    • Winner Winner x 6
  • Categories: Uncategorized

Comments

Discussion in 'Columns' started by E.L.Strict, Jun 24, 2013.

  1. avonspurs
    What are 'nouns' and 'adjectives'(!) :p

    Seriously like the Huddpocalypse - very funny.
  2. AB27
    Another triumph. Smashing work!
    • Agree Agree x 1
    • Friendly Friendly x 1
  3. mog123
    Made my Monday!
    • Friendly Friendly x 1
  4. ClintEastwould
    what about 'dimension'?
  5. Woland
    6. Miskyleculation
    noun
    A condition of disorientation, getting lost, unawareness of what's happening behind one's back. In game of football - a temporarily loss of positional sense, what is wrong and what is right back. Subject to cyclic fluctuations as Miskyleculation tends to manifest itself seemingly unprefaced every second EPL season to otherwise gifted footballers.

    "Although the first Liverpool goal was a manifestation of individual brilliance, their second was a result of blatant miskyleculation in the opposition ranks."
    • Funny Funny x 5
    • Winner Winner x 4
    • Like Like x 3
  6. ParklaneDazza
    7. Pirouetteism
    Another condition of disorientation designed to lull the opposition into thinking you know what your doing whilst really having no idea.

    "Scotty performed the most majestic Pirouetteism in the centre circle before passing the ball sideways straight out of play."
    • Funny Funny x 5
  7. S.Mouse!
    8. Caulkofrancophobia

    noun

    A condition whereby the sufferer has such hatred for the French language or accent that he should either completely ignore the user, or intentionally do the opposite of what the French user has requested.

    "Every time Steven heard those Gallic articulations, they filled him with such rage, which he vented by ignoring Hugo and kicking the ball to high heaven."
    • Funny Funny x 2
  8. chinaman
    Lloris, Kaboul, Sandro, Bale x 2.
  9. JimmyG2
    Good game, good game.
    Just what we need to fill in the hours before the season starts
    or we make a signing, whichever is the soonest.

    Leanderthal.
    Mythical beast now extinct which was always on the verge of leaving its homeland
    but gets lost in transit on the distant shores of Speculation.

    Defoliculate
    To cause one to tear out one's hair when ignored by a teamate
    when in a better scoring position then they are.
    • Funny Funny x 5
    • Winner Winner x 2
    • Like Like x 1
  10. Locotoro
    huh?
  11. Dannyspur
    Bennis Elbow noun

    A condition brought about by frustration that prevents a player from starting for the first team, but doesn't preclude them being on the subs bench:

    The repetitive strain on the Manager of lacklustre performances of the left back caused Bennis Elbow
    • Funny Funny x 2
  12. Liquidator
    Bentley noun

    To "do a Bentley" is to perform way below par - particularly upon being acquired by a new owner, so much so as to lose all intrinsic value. To fall from a respected position to a laughing stock in a short period of time.

    Based on the luxury car marque of the same name with its illustrious racing history and road pedigree, that straight after being bought by Volkswagen completely lost its cache and was reduced to near-toy status for overpaid young men.

    Who is that useless DJ? Oh, he's not really a DJ, he's actually a footballer but did a Bentley when he was sold by Blackburn Rovers.
    • Funny Funny x 1
  13. Don_Felipe
    Cundylicious (adj.)

    Not as rude as it sounds... Performing a task freakishly well, but never to be repeated....

    "That hat trick from Rosenthal was cundylicious"

    "Nethercott gave a cundylicious man-of-the-match performance"

    Bonus: it sounds a lot ruder than it is.... It's in my autocorrect now - This is going to bite me...
    • Winner Winner x 1
  14. onthetwo
    Dimense - noun
    'An act of immense dimension in an association rules football match, performed by a member of Tottenham hotspur football club, under the direct tutelage of Mr Andre Villas Boas, inflicted on a group of unsuspecting visiting players.'
  15. roosh
    "Dawstentatious"
    adj.

    an action which appears to be agains the perpretors own best interests, but displays courage and conviction,
    and a self belief which others could take inspiriation from;

    a display of ambition and determination that is to be admired


    John was told that a younger, more attractive man was sleeping with his wife but he refused to give up on the marriage;
    so, he studied with the great sexual masters, perfected the art of cunnilingus, and became a master of the kama sutra;
    now his wife asks him if he can spare some time from his other girlfriends, so that he could come on her face.

    "John was very dawstentatious"
    • Winner Winner x 1
  16. Woland
    words and phrases (cont.)

    Home of the Brave, Land of the Friedel

    The goal line, a narrow strip in the football field neighbouring the Six Yard Box and serving as a natural habitat to a small number of goalkeeping species, and John Terry. Land of the Friedel populace is characterised by deep-rooted structure and exceptional longevity.

    "The Invaders from the Penalty Area trembled when Land of the Friedel launched its troops with the ominous war cry 'Away!' "
    • Winner Winner x 1
  17. Woland
    words and phrases (cont.)

    Berbatim
    adverb
    Gesture for gesture; in exactly the same body language patterns as were used originally. Typically includes arms thrown in the air, rolled eyes, head shakes, outstretched arms, dropped shoulders.
    Not to be confused with Verbatim, which is the Berbatim equivalent in spoken and written speech.

    The earlier center-forward's annoyance with misplaced pass was reproduced Berbatim after the final whistle which confirmed a characteristic defeat for the hosts.
    • Funny Funny x 1

Share This Page