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Happy Slapping

Frozen_Waffles

Well-Known Member
Jan 26, 2005
3,760
9,505
Chimbonda’s slaps a disgruntled Nicky Butt in the face, Robbie Savage feigns injury to get Gilberto sent off and Berbatov kicks Shay Given in the legs for having the audacity to try and kick the ball out. Andy Johnson’s still thinks he can fly and his attempts always seem to be around the 18 yard box. Rocky must have thought he was back in the movies with the amount of play acting that goes on in the Premiership today.

I remember the early nineties, when there was a dispute on the pitch actual fists would come flying out more often than not. If Pascal Chimbonda was to try and slap the likes of David Batty in the face he would have been ripped to pieces before he could say “I want a transfer”.

Nowadays it is the time of pushing, slapping and rolling. It was embarrassing to watch the Chelsea Arsenal match a few weeks ago when Lehman and Drogba, two guys that if you met in a dark alley you would wish pampers made male boxer shorts, were making absoloute fools of themselves by throwing their rugby build to the floor at the slightest contact.

Paul Merson made the point at the time that their kids would be bullied tomorrow at school; well if they have learnt any thing off their fathers they will know how to get the teacher on their side and influence the situation to their advantage.
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The incident with Chimbonda reminded me of quite a few occasions where football has been undermined by the comical nature of cheaters, lyers and slappers. There was the baffling incident where Leo Messi and Del Horno applied to make rolling an Olympic sport after the committee turned down their suggestion, they tried to show how competitive and entertaining the sport could be in a Champions League match.
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What should we do with these players shall we single them out and impose suspensions, fines and match bans. Or is it up to the manager to tell their players to act with honour? Somehow this option would be undermined by the likes of Arsene Wenger who has not heard of the word before nor can understand the meaning and Jose Mourhino who has clearly lost his mind and the idea of him discussing this subject with Drogba makes me chuckle.

There is another suggestion that we should commend these players for giving us something to talk about each week, certainly not my view but some people could argue that the entertainment from these players and more recently their managers makes the game more interesting as a whole.
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Maybe they should include WWF style fighting on the touchline if the games get a little dull, the idea of Pat Rice and Wenger attempting a double team attack on Jol then Hughton comes flying down the tunnel with a chair is about as entertaining as it can get.
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Perhaps a tad too far, anyway the question I am getting at is what should be done to stop or control the amount of silly incidents that are happening each week? Or should as I suspect some of you might think keep encouraging these acts as it adds to the natural drama of football.
 

xzander

Member
Jun 25, 2003
166
0
MOst grounds have big screens these days. Simply make a list of al players involved in such incidents each matchday. Then at the next game make the player in question stand alone in the centre circle and watch a replay of his antics on the big screen five minutes before kick off each week, at whichever ground he happens to be at, with however many fans are in the ground laughing their heads off at them. Soon sort it out.
 

matjcole

Well-Known Member
Feb 24, 2005
1,712
1,075
I liked it, good article, lets hope your next 12 posts Inter Mi Lane are better.
 

Jacques

Member
Sep 13, 2006
146
1
You have a point my fellow Yid.........many of us seem to forget the likes of Vinny Jones and David Batty.....how times have changed.....
 

Inter_mi_lane

New Member
Jun 11, 2005
20
0
Really? I thought it made a valid point well. Fairplay to the guy for having the balls to front up and write an article.

Different strokes for different folks

aHA! my plan to drum up interest in this article worked, and I got lots of attention in the process
 

theShiznit

Well-Known Member
Jul 26, 2004
17,800
23,813
i remember Gazza doing similar to Nig Winterburn where he gently touched his cheek a few times then slapped him really hard:rofl:

also i remember when Ian wright got away with fully chinning David Howells, and it was caught on camera
 

idlepete

Imperfect modal meaning extractor
Oct 17, 2003
9,001
8
It wasn't a slap, it was a gentle caress. The picture of it on the back page of the Sun looked like Chimbo was about to give Butt a passionate french kiss.

Perpetrators of this vile crime should be forced to play their next match in stockings, suspenders and high heels.
 

ollie_spurs

Member
Dec 5, 2006
201
0
Maybe they should include WWF style fighting on the touchline if the games get a little dull, the idea of Pat Rice and Wenger attempting a double team attack on Jol then Hughton comes flying down the tunnel with a chair is about as entertaining as it can get.

That would be fantastic, well worth the entrance money!!:grin:
 

worcestersauce

"I'm no optimist I'm just a prisoner of hope
Jan 23, 2006
26,894
45,042
Mr Jol wouldn't need Mr hughton to sort them two out, with a chair or without.
 

Pillbug

Active Member
Jul 26, 2006
953
48
Hindsight

Methiks you have a bit romanticised vision of the past. while diving and such is up, I don't really see much difference in the altercation level. A few months back, Thatcher's elbow was hailed as the pinnacle of evil. I seem to recall two Newcastlers going toe-to-toe with each other mid-match a season or two back.

Also note that being 'edgy' was the besy Vinnie and Batty could ever add to a game as they were completely worthless shite players.
 

UbeAstard

Well-Known Member
May 31, 2005
3,354
2,413
I wonder if Inter_mi_lane meant to say the article was a waste of a read time. I would agree with him.
 

spursintheblood

SC Supporter
Aug 3, 2004
824
1,081
A valid post, well done for having a go as some on here can be a little unforgiving in their criticism.

Slapping has no place in football. Clubs should place the empahsis that any form of abuse, be it slapping, punching, deliberate hard foul or spitting is inexusable and not in the spirit of the best team sport on Earth.
 
Jul 3, 2005
567
0
Personally I liked the way we tried to ruff them up a bit for taking so long with everything; I'd like to see us do it to teams more often that having it done to us. To hell with fair play! I want winners! In fact I might be one of the few fans that actually thinks all the diving, cheating, mind-games, calling sisters dirty terrorist whores etc actually adds the the theatrical spectical which we all love. Teach the spurs under 8s how to spot hot-headed opponents and pick just the right familiy related insult in order to produce winners I say!

On a slightly different note I see this Indian babe is a whopping 2.6 on betfair to win celebrity big brother! Now to me this seems like free money given all the broohahah surrounding her; but before I put my life savings on it is there any actual reason why she's not even money or less??? Because I don't watch it! :shake: :shake: :hello: :hello:
 

Davvo

Member
Jun 18, 2003
61
1
i think it all comes down to the footballing education these players are given. if we sort it at grass root level we will see the benefits in the future, but we have no say what the froeign imports are taught. it will continue until fifa step in and make some sort of legislation that if a player is deemed to be cheating surely it corresponds with taking a performanc enhances drug? ok maybe its extreme, but surely the advantages of both are the same? gaining an unfair advantage over an opponant.
 
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