Is my boy too competitive, agression in Sport.

Discussion in 'General Football' started by Trix, Oct 19, 2017.

  1. nailsy

    nailsy SC Supporter

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    @Trix Is he still in primary school, or is he in the seniors now?
     
  2. Trix

    Trix Well-Known Member

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    It's a three tier school system junior, middle and high school. He is in year 7 or third year of middle school. I have actually got a meeting planned for Monday with the deputy head and his PE teacher to talk about how we can best move forward. His club coach offered to come along as well, but the school didn't think it was appropriate(which I am not overly happy about). I think having an expert at dealing with kids in this environment would be something the school would and should welcome but apparently not.
     
  3. nailsy

    nailsy SC Supporter

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    I guess the school don't want to be shown up by someone who knows more about the subject than they do.
    It's a difficult one as it sounds like he's at a different level to the other kids he plays with so he might need to dial it down a bit at this age. I'd be interested to hear what the schools approach is with kids who are ahead of their classmates in something like maths. Do they have to sit there in class and work within themselves, or are the put on a fast track program with other advanced learners?
     
  4. bceej

    bceej Well-Known Member

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    The staff at both academy and school have a duty of care to both the individual and the greater collective body. Parents complain. I would talk to individuals involved and try to organise a restorative session so all parties can move forwards on the same page. Schools will offer this to resolve ongoing issues. The school will want your son to succeed in his sporting pursuits as it reflects well on them, but in the school environment reputations flying around, just or unjust, could make your son's experience there deteriorate.
     
  5. Trix

    Trix Well-Known Member

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    Had a meeting today after school with his deputy head and PE teacher. Complete waste of time IMO, and it's clear their only concern is parents complaining. They have said if he continues to be so competitive then he will be limited to what he will and won't be able to take part in, they even said he might only be allowed to take part in the fun events and relays at sports day "to give others a chance". I told them that was pathetic, and that they wouldn't stop the clever kids answering questions, and this was no different. I asked about him maybe competing against the year above, but was told logistically this couldn't be done. His PE teacher then had the nerve to say he would still be able to show his competitive side when representing the school in the various Inter school competions, which I felt absolutely took the piss. So I have told them under no circumstance would I give permission for this to happen, and he would no longer be eligible to play for them in any sport.

    I will speak to his coach tomorrow, and am now looking at schooling alternatives.

    Fuming!!!
     
  6. bceej

    bceej Well-Known Member

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    Well that's my advice thoroughly thrown out. Bizarre decision on their part. Can't have a cake and eat it! If he was damaging other kids in a serious way it'd be somewhat understandable but this seems like pandering to a wildly prohibitive degree. Their loss!
     
  7. Trix

    Trix Well-Known Member

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    Exactly mate, as soon as they said it would be fine when playing other schools I had had enough.
     
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  8. nailsy

    nailsy SC Supporter

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    Such a strange thing for them to say. They seem to be saying that it's OK if he hurts the kids from the other schools, but he can't go near their own pupils. Either he's too competitive or he isn't. They can't have it both ways.
     
  9. SugarRay

    SugarRay Well-Known Member

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    Teachers sound like wankers.

    He’s just more developed than the rest, it’s common and happens in every year at every school.
    Give it a year or two and others will not only catch him up physically but some will even surpass him!

    The softly softly approach to sports at schools thesedays is worrying!
     
  10. absolute bobbins

    absolute bobbins Vous Êtes Des Assassins

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    Shit like this is why they didn’t want a coach there, he would have hit the roof too if he heard something like that because it can really mess with your lads head. .
     
  11. Trix

    Trix Well-Known Member

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    Exactly how I saw it. His Mum doesn't think it's all that serious, but as I tried to explain to her, he is not all that great academically(although he tries), and he is far more likely to have a career in sport than becoming a doctor or a solicitor for example. IMO a school should be doing everything it can to encourage and progress any talent a child shows, and while I understand they need to take into account how it affects all the other children, I don't think they are considering the needs of my child at all. I wonder if I should approach the school and complain that they are telling the kids who came first in a maths test because it's unfair on my child who will never be top in that respect.
     
  12. 'O Zio

    'O Zio Active Member

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    I understand your frustration but surely moving schools is going to cause more hassle than it's worth. Let's be honest, if he's playing for an academy, the amount that he's learning in PE lessons is going to be close to zero so even if they do stop him from doing PE, it wouldn't affect his potential to have a football career, but moving schools etc. could mess him up academically. Either way I don't think they're allowed to ban him from PE lessons are they? I'm pretty sure there's a minimum number of hours PE that kids are obligated to do.
     
  13. Trix

    Trix Well-Known Member

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    No they can't stop him it's actually a required element of the curriculum. Thing is if he was really good at art they wouldn't tell him he could now only do finger painting because the other kids were not as good. Whatever the school says he is being singled out and restricted from doing activities nor because of behaviour, but because they don't know how to handle it. His club coach has offered to help/speak to them, but they are not interested. It's not about the fact he won't be learning anything from PE, it's the fact they are actively looking to do the opposite, but as I found out yesterday..... Only when it suits them.
     
  14. 'O Zio

    'O Zio Active Member

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    Yeah I thought so, so it's a bit of an empty threat really to be honest.

    I agree with you that if it were another subject he'd be encouraged, and that's what's frustrating. That said, as someone who moved school I can tell you it's absolutely horrible and completely messes up your life, especially the older you are when you move, so it's definitely not something I'd do lightly. Like I say, whether or not he's allowed to play properly in PE is largely irrelevant given that he's receiving top-level coaching outside of school anyway so it might be one of those situations where you've got to pick your battles. If you're happy enough with the education he's getting in his other subjects then I'd be more inclined to just leave it be and tell him to just tone it down a bit even if it is daft. After all, presumably the reason he's in this school in the first place is because you thought it was the best place for him, so moving him to somewhere that you decided wasn't as good just so that he can play properly in PE might not really be the best trade off.
     
  15. dontcallme

    dontcallme SC Supporter

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    Doesn't sound like that is a fair comparison.

    Your OP suggests the issue is he plays too physically and is hurting other chlldren. The kids good at art aren't hurting anyone.
     
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  16. Trix

    Trix Well-Known Member

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    Thing is he is not intentionally hurting anyone, and is only playing to his ability. You understand how it is if you go into a tackle at 50% there is far more chance of getting injured than if you commit to it. Like I said they are considering him only being able to take part in the "fun events" in sports day to give the other kids a chance. My finger painting analogy. There is no risk of him hurting other kids in running races ffs. Also they are clearly not that fussed about him hurting anyone, as long as they go to a different school.
     
  17. dontcallme

    dontcallme SC Supporter

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    Sure, I'm not saying he shouldn't compete in non-contact sports to the best of his ability.

    But there is a difference between a proper game and a kickaround at break time or during a PE session.

    In a competitive game there will be more leniency. Players are expecting a full contact game with the ref there to punish any fouls or cheating.

    In a kickaround you don't expect to have your shirt pulled and tackles are generally weaker.

    I don't know the full situation, of course, and I am certainly not saying the teachers are completely right. But from your OP it sounds like there are occasions where your boy might want to play slightly less physically than he currently is.
     
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  18. Bobbins

    Bobbins SC's 14th Sexiest Male 2008

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    Let's be honest he does sound like a bit of a prick. :LOL:
     
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  19. Trix

    Trix Well-Known Member

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    Thanks for that. Think it best I stick you on ignore rather than get into a slanging match.
     
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  20. Bobbins

    Bobbins SC's 14th Sexiest Male 2008

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    Methinks you may have taken that comment a mite too seriously :LOL:
     

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