Let's All Laugh At... Let's all laugh at Liverpool thread

[StartingPrice]

Because they are idiots.

Both penalties were the fault of liverpool's defence and they are trying to deflect away from it. Plus they think that not beating us has wrecked their top 4 chances. They are scared. If they don't win this weekend against a southampton club that hates them and if we beat arsenal then they will proper be shitting it.

The funny thing is, this really is the bottom dollar. Both penalties were legitimate, and caused by defensive ineptitude.


Always liked SCBCSouthampton meself - c'mon the Saints

 

[Bobbins]

This thread seems like the right place for this classic story from the "self-pity city":

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/merseyside/4372230.stm

Tributes left for a dead chicken

Flowers and tributes were left in an alleyway where the body of a mystery dead baby was found - before police realised it was only a chicken foetus.

A member of the public discovered the remains in a back alley in the Anfield area of Liverpool.

Police cordoned off the scene but soon realised that it was not a human but a chicken foetus.

Well-wishers had laid more than a dozen bunches of flowers at the scene, along with cards and teddy bears.

One of the cards read: "RIP Little Baby. Safe in the arms of Jesus. From someone who is a loving mother xxxx."

Merseyside Police told the community on Monday to "stop grieving, it's only a chicken".

A spokeswoman for Merseyside Police said: "It seems a member of the public saw the remains of a foetus, which possibly resembled a human foetus, and called us.

"We cordoned off the area to investigate, as we would with any possible suspicious death, but it became apparent it was not a human foetus.

"The flowers and cards are obviously the result of local gossip, but we can assure people that the remains were not human."

Conservative MP and editor of The Spectator Boris Johnson was criticised last year after commenting in the magazine that Liverpudlians were "hooked on grief".

 

[spurs mental]

They're going on about Sunday more than they did about 5 tiiiimmmmesssssssssss

 

[Dundalk_Spur]

Can we just fashion a large hole, casually slide Liverpool and it's contents into it and cover it with dirt and possibly some dog poo?

They tried but Manchester was full.

 

[spursfan77]

View attachment 35766

We really need a head shaking rating for these posts in this thread. Liverpool fans are a special breed

 

[spursfan77]

They are going through the Liverpool signings from Southampton on SSN now. Not sounding like they've been a rousing success so far according to the "experts" on there.

 

[wishkah]

good article on the beeb about Mo Salah (do do do doo Mane mane).

best part is this table (will remove if copyright stuff - all credit to BBC)

When speaking to the pool fans at work today it's like, "yeah mate, obviously a great player, any player who comes close to Harry Kane is a great player"......hehehehe

League......and how it compares to the best
Goals: 21Second to Harry Kane (22)
Total shots (including blocked): 100Second to Harry Kane (146)
Shots on target: 48Second to Harry Kane (60)
Left-footed goals: 18Top
Two or more goals in a game: 5 timesSecond to Harry Kane (6)
Minutes per goal: 92.71Fourth (but top excluding players who have only scored once)
Assists: 6Joint ninth (Kevin de Bruyne top with 11)
Chances created: 4114th (Kevin de Bruyne top with 78)
Dribbles completed: 63Joint third (Eden Hazard top with 11)
Touches in opposition box: 185
Second to Raheem Sterling (190)

 

[sebo_sek]

The Satanic page of the thread...

So a rehash of the past: Steven "The Devil" French at Anfield.

 

[Tucker]

good article on the beeb about Mo Salah (do do do doo Mane mane).

best part is this table (will remove if copyright stuff - all credit to BBC)

When speaking to the pool fans at work today it's like, "yeah mate, obviously a great player, any player who comes close to Harry Kane is a great player"......hehehehe

League......and how it compares to the best
Goals: 21Second to Harry Kane (22)
Total shots (including blocked): 100Second to Harry Kane (146)
Shots on target: 48Second to Harry Kane (60)
Left-footed goals: 18Top
Two or more goals in a game: 5 timesSecond to Harry Kane (6)
Minutes per goal: 92.71Fourth (but top excluding players who have only scored once)
Assists: 6Joint ninth (Kevin de Bruyne top with 11)
Chances created: 4114th (Kevin de Bruyne top with 78)
Dribbles completed: 63Joint third (Eden Hazard top with 11)
Touches in opposition box: 185
Second to Raheem Sterling (190)

I wouldn’t call it a “good article” it was the usual Liverpool bum licking from McNulty. Anyone would think Salah was the second coming of Christ reading that...except he’s second in every stat that counts.

 

[IGSpur]

Anyone analysing that Vic goal need to stop, you're just over analysing. I watched in disbelief channels like Sky, ESPN, BBC etc...were analysing the Wanyama strike and were being critical of the gk's punch and the subsequent defending or 'lack of' after the punch before he scored the goal.

I mean really?

This is something that really annoys me about modern day football, too many experts, too many analysing, too much criticism and scapegoats...I mean why the entire fuck would you nit pick do much and not just enjoy the goal for what it is and move on ffs.

Read an article by Mark Schwarzer who basically said, there are loads of pundits who know nothing about goalkeeping and but as their pundits feel they have to give their 2 cents. But openly admit to Schwarzer they don't know what they're talking about.

 

[spurs mental]

Two or more goals in a game: 5 times Second to Harry Kane (6)

5 tiiimmmeessssss. They always manage to get it in somewhere

 

['O Zio]

Read an article by Mark Schwarzer who basically said, there are loads of pundits who know nothing about goalkeeping and but as their pundits feel they have to give their 2 cents. But openly admit to Schwarzer they don't know what they're talking about.

Agree with him there. There are almost no pundits who are ex GKs and yet they are all more than happy to shoot their mouth off about keeping errors when they don't really have a clue. It's always fascinating when they do have a proper keeper on because they give an insight that normal pundits just can't begin to.

 

[robbiedee]

Spurs fan comedian Rhys James goes up against Lawro in this weeks predictions...here’s what he said about Southampton v Liverpool...

Rhys' prediction: This is a peek into the future for the Southampton players - this is Liverpool juniors versus Liverpool, or dads v lads. Whoever scores for Southampton will be playing for Liverpool in 12 months time. 1-3

He ain’t wrong!

 

[chinaman]

Hope So'ton beat them tomorrow.

 

[lennon180]

Just saw this and genuinely laughed out loud, nowhere else to put it so it’s going here. Comes from the Liverpool Echo. What the deal hinges on it doesn’t say. I LOVE how they could sign him though.

 

[mark_2017]

Just saw this and genuinely laughed out loud, nowhere else to put it so it’s going here. Comes from the Liverpool Echo. What the deal hinges on it doesn’t say. I LOVE how they could sign him though. View attachment 35830

https://www.express.co.uk/sport/foo...tenham-Christian-Eriksen-transfer-news-gossip

Says deal hinges on if we don't qualify for CL and they do. It's the Liverpool Echo originally reporting it so of course it's coming up with bollocks like this.

 

[spurs mental]

I had a Liverpool fan today tell me that the golden boot should be awarded for the most games scored in rather than the most goals.

 

[Gb160]

I had a Liverpool fan today tell me that the golden boot should be awarded for the most games scored in rather than the most goals.

So a bloke who scores 5 in 5 would win the golden boot over someone who's scored 20 in 4?
Makes sense.
#scouselogic

 

[spurs mental]

So a bloke who scores 5 in 5 would win the golden boot over someone who's scored 20 in 4?
Makes sense.
#scouselogic

Not only that but the same fella told me that it's not fair that assists aren't included in the golden boot as well. They will literally clutch to anything

 

[mark_2017]

Not only that but the same fella told me that it's not fair that assists aren't included in the golden boot as well. They will literally clutch to anything

Hahaha I like this guy, any chance you can get him signed up to SC? He'll provide some comedy gold.