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Let's All Laugh At... Let's All Laugh At West Ham

Buggsy61

Washed Up Member
Aug 31, 2012
5,551
8,921
There's a discussion on KUMB at the moment about the season ticket waiting list.

Now, I'm no expert, but I would have thought that the defining characteristic of a list is that it is a register of individual names in a specific order. Consequently, if such a list existed, one would expect West Ham to be able to identify anyone's position on that list so that they could ascertain how close they were to being able to purchase a season ticket and assess whether it was worthwhile having paid £10 for the privilege of being on this list (which some apparently did o_O). If West Ham couldn't tell you your position on the list, then it would be either a nefarious scam or a complete shambles.

Still, surely a Board with the integrity and competence of Gold, Sullivan and Brady wouldn't get involved with anything remotely like a scam or oversee a complete shambles, would they? So when one West Ham fan asked for his position on the list, then surely West Ham could tell him. Couldn't they?

Here are their answers to date...

July: We are currently updating the list and allocating numbers.

August: It should be available shortly.

October: Waiting list positions have been delayed, but I will get this chased up.

December: Passed to my manager.

January: I have chased this up again.

January: My manager has been off this week, I have chased this again.

February: We are unable to tell you where you are on the waiting list at present.

February: We don’t have access to the information that will tell us fans' whereabouts on the list, but we should have this early March.

Early March: We sold season tickets to all those on the waiting list since Nov 2015. Hopefully, you will be able to purchase one for next season.

Later in March: Once renewals have begun we will be able to disclose your position.


And renewals have now begun, but still no answer, along with the 15 or so occasions they never replied that I've cut from the above.

So the next time you hear reference to the mythical 50,000 list, don't think "50,000, really?", think "list, really?" too.

The only question is whether it's a scam or a shambles. And, as with all things West Ham, it's really difficult to tell whether the Board are operating with evil intent or whether they're just utterly incompetent, because, frankly, the end result always seems to be pretty much the same either way.
unbelievable!.
Why don't they just cut to the chase and ask him "Where would you like to sit sir?"
 

CantSmileWithoutYou

Well-Endowed Member
May 20, 2015
3,851
15,419
The idea that a club the size of West Ham have 50k people on their season ticket waiting list is laughable. It sounds like they’ve plucked a number out of thin air
That's a bit unfair.

They have got 50,000 on the waiting list at the 'Newham Council' Stadium. Unfortunately though, they got the season ticket list mixed up with the housing waiting list.

Subsequently there are now only 3 retired skinheads waiting for a studio flat just off Green Street.

...can't wait til single mum Shanice, gets offered two tickets in the West Stand in Stratford...
 
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Col_M

Pointing out the Obvious
Feb 28, 2012
22,639
45,684
What’s the fuss about the list. Anyone who has used Excel knows that it can be sorted in all manner of ways so it easily explains why they can’t tell the guy where he is on the list. One day he’s 43rd, the next he’s 3245. Then 48713 then 466.

They’re trying to find what sort method they were using at the time of the initial request.
 

chinaman

Well-Known Member
Jul 19, 2003
17,974
12,423
I'm giving them a pat on the shoulder for ensuring our 4th place spot by drawing with Chelscum.
 

Phantom

Well-Known Member
Jun 6, 2005
5,856
3,212
So he has missed 127 games for Wham in the time he has been there, wikipedia informs me he has only played in 124 games for them (including the loan). He is a 1 in every 2 striker, sadly for them it is in terms of games not goals.
 

Lilbaz

Just call me Baz
Apr 1, 2005
41,363
74,893
So he has missed 127 games for Wham in the time he has been there, wikipedia informs me he has only played in 124 games for them (including the loan). He is a 1 in every 2 striker, sadly for them it is in terms of games not goals.

On £100k a week aswell. Bargain of the fucking century.
 
Jan 28, 2011
5,647
78,683
On £100k a week aswell. Bargain of the fucking century.

According to this site, it's £80k.

www.whatfootballersearn.com/player/andy-carroll/

Not that it matters. Just next time you're with a West Ham fan, send them this link. It's a hoot, especially as the figure on the right grows inexorably while they're taking in the overall enormity of what they've paid Andy Carroll over the past six years. Then, as their complexion takes on the hue of their beloved claret and blue, drop into conversation that the sum, of course, doesn't include the £15m fee, or the signing-on fee, or loyalty bonuses, or image rights.

And, then, as a coup de grace as they're chasing you out the door, I recommend "but at least you haven't had to fork out too much on performance bonuses over the years..."
 
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