Let's All Laugh At... Let's All Laugh At West Ham

[JerryGarcia]

I can certainly imagine them getting relegated.

That never really too difficult

Imagine that they lose all of their remaining games by at least four goals without scoring. They get their goalkeeper sent off twice per match sending them into a nightmarish spiral of substitute goalie suspensions.

Their season from hell sees them part ways with four different managers, Manuel Pellegrini, Brendan Rodgers, Harry Redknapp and Mark Noble before finally getting relegated under the joint management of Davids Gold and Sullivan.

Just after the final whistle of their last home game vs Southampton one of the cable ties holding the stadium together gives way causing a chain reaction that allows a freak gust of wind to blow the sides and roof of the structure into Westfield Shopping Centre. The Centre is destroyed and with the loss of life a huge lawsuit is filed with Karen Brady being held responsible. As the final whistle had blown the result also stood, 0 - 8 to Southampton.

The Premier league biggest win record is broken 12 times against West Ham during the course of the season with Tottenham Hotspur finally taking it after a 26-0 home win in which Harry Kane scores all 26 goals past sub keeper Jack Wilshere. Wilshere is later injured after a coming together in which he appeared to be tea bagged by Dele Alli although no action is taken against the young Spurs star.

 

[Woland]

That never really too difficult

Imagine that they lose all of their remaining games by at least four goals without scoring. They get their goalkeeper sent off twice per match sending them into a nightmarish spiral of substitute goalie suspensions.

Their season from hell sees them part ways with four different managers, Manuel Pellegrini, Brendan Rodgers, Harry Redknapp and Mark Noble before finally getting relegated under the joint management of Davids Gold and Sullivan.

Just after the final whistle of their last home game vs Southampton one of the cable ties holding the stadium together gives way causing a chain reaction that allows a freak gust of wind to blow the sides and roof of the structure into Westfield Shopping Centre. The Centre is destroyed and with the loss of life a huge lawsuit is filed with Karen Brady being held responsible. As the final whistle had blown the result also stood, 0 - 8 to Southampton.

The Premier league biggest win record is broken 12 times against West Ham during the course of the season with Tottenham Hotspur finally taking it after a 26-0 home win in which Harry Kane scores all 26 goals past sub keeper Jack Wilshere. Wilshere is later injured after a coming together in which he appeared to be tea bagged by Dele Alli although no action is taken against the young Spurs star.

You started so well but then gradually went over the top and made me sympathize with WHU.

Tribalism all good but who would be genuinely proud to win a game of football against a team with Wilshere in goal?
Or in midfield, while we're at it

 

[beats1]

They'd have to extend the roof and the site lines would be impossible it's too shallow already.

The only thing they could do is knock it down and start again. Someone else thought of that but brady snd her in the queens name bollocks put a stop to that.

TBH, I dont think that is a realistic viable option without costing a lot. NWHL is a much better site than that one and

West Ham have made some good signings and they have a good manager. I fully expect them to pick up this season. While it's great to laugh at them right now I think maybe it doesn't reflect their potential. Their joke of a side last year did not have the potential this one does.

Problem is they have no legs. The goal they conceded against bournemouth showed this. Selling Kouyate was their biggest mistake

All of a sudden they look soft, Wilson just run through their midfield and Noble, looked 38, wilshere wasnt bothered and the CB's are a bit lost with a lack of experience with each other and the league

 

[JerryGarcia]

You started so well but then gradually went over the top and made me sympathize with WHU.

Tribalism all good but who would be genuinely proud to win a game of football against a team with Wilshere in goal?
Or in midfield, while we're at it

I wouldn't be any prouder than usual but I would laugh my head off for months if Kane put 26 past the little twerp

As far as sympathising with West Ham I don't know what that's like so cant help you. I don't really hate them, just find them to be a never ending source of fun.

 

[Col_M]

Who was the midfielder tacking back with Traore that gave up after 5 yards?

 

[Col_M]

You may remember that West Ham misspelled Arnautovic's name on his shirt last season.

Well, they've made sure it won't happen again and have moved the guy responsible onto other duties.

Sadly, they've put him in charge of the giant screen...

The guy obviously needs some hilp!

 

[hellava_tough]

Who was the midfielder tacking back with Traore that gave up after 5 yards?

Pretty sure it was their left-back Creswell

He's number 3:

https://www.google.com/search?q=wes...x-b-ab#sie=m;/g/11g0nfz5qg;2;/m/02_tc;ln;fp;1

At first I thought it might be Noble, but he didn't play

 

[hellava_tough]

Incidentally, Traore looks jacked

 

[Hakkz]

Ahem..

"After all, the Hammers have only once lost their opening four league matches of a season, in 2010-11 under Avram Grant, when they were relegated."

 

[Ghost Hardware]

Was nicely surprised to see Spam bottom and loose again. But then I realized one win will take them out of drop zone. I just can't get excited about this yet.. although it's a lovely bonus. If only Liverpool were also dropping points.

 

[Danners9]

 

[WorcesterTHFC]

Just after the final whistle of their last home game vs Southampton one of the cable ties holding the stadium together gives way causing a chain reaction that allows a freak gust of wind to blow the sides and roof of the structure into Westfield Shopping Centre. The Centre is destroyed and with the loss of life a huge lawsuit is filed with Karen Brady being held responsible. As the final whistle had blown the result also stood, 0 - 8 to Southampton.

If the Taxpayer Stadium collapsed during a game, the BBC could get Dion Dublin to do a docco about the incident - Hammers Under 'Their' Home.
I'll get my coat.

 

[allatsea]

Having watched them a few times on TV I would have thought they could be coached into a decent enough team with the players they have in their squad. At the moment they seem a bit of a shambles despite most players trying hard. I wonder if Pellegrine (sp?) is brave enough to drop Wheelchair as I can’t see he has a positive impact on the team ?

 

[teok]

When it rains it pours.

 

[Buggsy61]

If you want a good summary of what's going on listen to Do(o)m. He always calls it how it is - WHTV's Claude if you like.
Love his assessment of Jack Wheelchair towards the end - spot on!

 

[hellava_tough]

Arsenal (A)
Wolves (H)
Everton (A)
Chelsea (H)
Man Utd (H)

Nice easy run of games for them now

So after Man Utd they've got...

Brighton (A)
Tottenham (H)
Leicester (A)

It's then November 3rd and they've got...

Burnley (H)
Huddersfield (A) - which may be a crucial relegation clash
Man City (H)


It's not looking good. They could go all the way to November (or beyond) without winning and if they lose to the likes of Huddersfield, Brighton or Burnley, they could even be quite a few points adrift from their relegation rivals.

That said, I'll still be supporting them Vs Chelsea and Man Utd...because I'm forced to

 

[coys200]

I think they are totally screwed if they go down. It could end up like the worst of Leeds years or even worse Coventry considering the stadium. Imagine 25k rattling around in that place horrendous. Then would the stadium agreement even hold together,already rumours e20 are about to go bust. Add in a massive wage bill and a relegation could be a total disaster. They rolled the dice this summer and it could all go catastrophically wrong ?

 

[hellava_tough]

I think they are totally screwed if they go down. It could end up like the worst of Leeds years or even worse Coventry considering the stadium. Imagine 25k rattling around in that place horrendous. Then would the stadium agreement even hold together,already rumours e20 are about to go bust. Add in a massive wage bill and a relegation could be a total disaster. They rolled the dice this summer and it could all go catastrophically wrong ?

Could go either way. What with parachute payments, etc, they'd still have money for a couple of seasons to pay wages, etc.

And they could hire a manager with top-draw Championship pedigree.

However, it would depend on how their players react to relegation. If they do a 'Sunderland' then they're in trouble!!!

 

[hellava_tough]

Btw, further to my post above, December looks like a huge month for them.

6 or 7 games where they'd be expected to rack up the points. Come January 1st 2019, we'll have a good indication of where they'll be playing their football next season.

 

[riggi]

??????