Pochettino's Half-Year School Report

Discussion in 'Columns' started by Krafty, Jan 17, 2015.

  • by Krafty, Jan 17, 2015 at 9:20 PM
  • Krafty

    Krafty Well-Known Member

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    Dear Mr and Mrs Pochettino,

    Young Mauricio has been at the Tottenham Hotspur Academy for Performance and Drama, and it's time to evaluate his progression to date. I've covered some of the most important subjects below, along with comments from his tutors.

    It has been a delight to have Mauricio here with us for the last six months, and his activities (or lack of) this January shows that he fits into the ethos the Board of Governors has always tried to follow.

    Yours sincerely,

    Headmaster Daniel Levy

    (Postage for this letter is not included and must be paid by the recipient)


    Mauricio's English skills have come on leaps and bounds since he joined us in the summer. As you well know, the school cannot afford interpreters for our foreign students, but the tutor reports that Mauricio is becoming more coherent as each day passes.

    Sometimes his language is basic, and he is not liable to verbal outbreaks like past alumni Sherwood, Villas-Boas and Redknapp.


    After initially appearing to be very good with his French, Mauricio's teachers have reported that he has largely disregarded the language for the last two months. It is unknown what sparked this change in attitude, but rumours of a rift between different groups in the class are known by the powers at the bar and we can assure you action has been taken.

    Surprisingly, Mauricio has shown an inclination for certain French related languages, such as Algerian and Flemish.


    There were concerns that the young Pochettino could not grasp our history, but recent inconsistent performances, from trembling highs to worrying lows, shows that he knows the history of Tottenham Hotspur Academy to a T.

    Physical Education

    Pochettino shows tremendous physcial capacity, and has really taken to the subject. He works really hard, often stays later than we expect, and he has influenced those around him.


    Pochettino shows a very good understanding of economics and financial control as the Tottenham Hotspur Academy teaches it. The lessons seem to have been fully understood and Mauricio follows them without complaint. He receives an allowance that he spends very wisely, and even though sometimes we cannot give him anything he never complains and is happy to make the best use of what equipment he has available to him.

    Extra-curricular activites

    We are delighted with the amount of work Mauricio does with the younger members of the Academy. We see him helping them reach their potential, sometimes at the expense of old members of the school.

    The faculty also wanted to say that Mauricio wears his school uniform very well and always represents the school in the best light.
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Discussion in 'Columns' started by Krafty, Jan 17, 2015.

  1. chinaman
    That was a very kraftily written piece. Well done sir.
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