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Sunderland (H) and Chelsea (A): Stoof's Shout

Stoof

THERE IS A PIGEON IN MY BANK ACCOUNT
Staff
Jun 5, 2004
32,219
64,273
stoof2.jpg


As I sit and ponder, draped in Classical Chillout Platinum reflecting on a turbulent 10 days in the life of Spurs, I can’t help but think that I wouldn’t want it any other way. This Stoof Shout may have been a Stoof Yell at the culmination of the transfer window yesterday evening, but after the dust has settled, the players have their names, ranks and numbers and I can get back to enjoying Bent’s classic finish from Sunday, and can carrying on looking forward to the season proper.


I’ve been championing Bent’s cause, and I’m not alone in that. Going back a transfer window or two and we had pipped West Ham to signing him. “Why do we need him?” said most. “We’ve got 3 strikers already” said the rest. But there were some who saw potential sense through the more obvious madness. The fact that a year on Darren Bent (medially branded as 4th choice behind Defoe) is now the only guy left out of our Feared Foursome is somewhat hard to believe. But before this becomes yet another discussion of transfer policy and transfer rumour, let me reassure you that in my humblest of non-humble opinions, the lad will come good for us.

Anyway, that’s all I want to talk about transfers, unless anyone has any good iron-on ones they want to post to the (un)usual address? No? Shut-up Stoof? OK.

As an attempt to be light-hearted, I will now return to our glorious match against Sunderland. Shut-up Stoof! My first game of the season, and my first first game if that makes sense. Never been to a season opener before and was treated to a refurbished Bell & Hare, although my hangover did not treat itself to another beer.

On the subject of hangovers, rather strangely for a season opener at the Lane, the crowd did seem somewhat in a state of recovery from the season before. At that sort of stage in a hangover where you’ve got up the next morning, had a glass of apple juice and a bacon sandwich before waiting for the inevitable bowel movement. Bowels again [fans of last week’s Stoof Shout will remember they played a starring role].

Watching back on Match of the Day, handily ‘V-plussed’ for such a write-up, we didn’t actually look terribly terrible. I certainly didn’t realise Bale had quite that much room to plant his header into the lower half of the Paxton, and I certainly didn’t realise that GB again and Woodgate contrived to slice the ball away from the open goal quite so badly as they did. But Sunderland smashed us, grabbed us and took the points away. Although I doubt that will be the first time they cause opponents difficulty away from home.

So a Roman P later and it’s Chelsea on Sunday just gone. It’s Bent up top again, largely unused for the Sunderland match as that would be far too attacking (I jest) – and despite Andy Gray’s assertion [when he wasn’t at the game, nor probably having watched it] that Chelsea completely outplayed us for the first 20 minutes - I have a screenshot in front of me of the possession after 7 minutes (I think) and it shows us 60-40 up. Hardly outplayed, but then it’s hardly the first time Mr Gray has chosen to speak up in favour of the Top Four, but there’s enough (better) commentary on that than there is from my lungs/fingers.

Zokora roamed as is his wont, and was actually rather beautiful and eloquent in what he did, lending hope that he may indeed be that one third of a midfield three that I always expected he was. [See past Stoof posts for the whole “he’s a third of a midfield two at the moment”, if you really want to that is, personally I’d rather have a shave with screwdriver]. Bent won countless headers and took his goal extremely well, Bale wingedly flew down the left hand side and ably defended too. Gomes majestically octopussed, octopiied and occupied the goal with athletic saves and distance-destroying throws that surely offended a few of Newton’s laws.

And we held on.

No last minute winner. No prancing Mourinho. No dancing Drogba. Just Ramos, thoughtful, poised and happy with a day’s shutting out. The bus wasn’t parked, oh no, this bus came to play too. This bus put on its best wheels, cleaned its interior and made sure its air conditioning was working. And the plan worked, and I was chuffed with that point let me tell you. We will play worse than that and win, and some will hate that. Others, well, as I said at the top of this piece: others wouldn’t want it any other way.

We’re deliciously dramatic and emphatically Tottenham Hotspur.
 

wolff

Active Member
Dec 17, 2003
337
152
sounds like you are more interested in writing a "well written article" rather than just stating the obvious...
 

guate

Well-Known Member
May 12, 2005
3,270
1,486
Stoof my boy, congratulations from Guatemala. Just loved your sense of humour. Hopefully you'll take over from Ally Gold with a few more timely clAssics of this nature.

QUE VIVA LOS SPURS
 

Bill_Oddie

Everything in Moderation
Staff
Feb 1, 2005
19,120
6,003
Wolff, after the drivelling lunacy posted on these pages over the last few days a 'well written article' (since when has that needed inverted commas anyway? Hardly a crime to be literate is it?) is very, very, very welcome.

Good work, Stoofles. If Dan is still being the work-shy fop, I'm happy to do one of these - or perhaps a complimentary piece - either this week or next. :up:
 

Thesoccershrink

Active Member
Nov 17, 2004
740
62
Very nice piece, Stoof. I particularly enjoyed your reference to Gomes, not just because of the literary description but partly because, in all of the hoopla and disappointment of the shutting window, it has eluded many people that Gomes may just have been our most important signing this summer.
 

Bill_Oddie

Everything in Moderation
Staff
Feb 1, 2005
19,120
6,003
Not all of us, Soccershrink. As DC_Boy has been saying all summer...
 

VegasII

Well-Known Member
May 14, 2008
9,750
16,670
Good stoof, stuff. At least the bus didn't blow up like the jolly boy's outing.
 

JonnySpurs

SC Veteran
Jun 4, 2004
5,345
12,398
Well said that man! There aren't too many Spurs fans who would say it but I totally agree on the "wouldn't have it any other way" sentiment.

You can't really appreciate winning until you know what it's like to lose and that's why winning for Spurs means SO much to fans like us!
 

Bus-Conductor

SC Supporter
Oct 19, 2004
39,837
50,713
I can forgive you being wrong about Bent because your article is entertainingly well written.

Wolff
If it's just the blindingly obvious you're after, you'll find teletext more to your taste. Skytext spurs page 265/266
 

S17PUR

Well-Known Member
Aug 31, 2006
1,313
3,829
The only thing that I refuse to get too excited about at the minute is the performance of Zokora against Chelsea. I've actually defended him on a number of occasions in the past and think he's a good player, but his best performances almost always come against the big sides and particularly away from home (Liverpool last year springs to mind). He, like another of our midfielders, needs to gain consistency, although Jenas to my mind seems to perform against the smaller teams and not the big ones!

Otherwise I completely agree with you and enjoyed the read. The site seems to be swarming with positivity at the minute so in typical Tottenham style we'll probably be 3 down to Villa in the first twenty minutes come Monday!
 

TimJ

SC Supporter
Dec 29, 2006
324
74
I hope you don't mind me giving you some thoughts about your post.

I am afraid I got bored reading it.... and then read some of the comments that said how good it was... so tried again and got bored again.

I really wanted to read it, and there is some good stuff in it, but it just does not flow that well.

If you want to follow in the footsteps of Ally Gold you need to stop jumping around so much and let your sentences flow better.

It is just a suggestion.
 

Stoof

THERE IS A PIGEON IN MY BANK ACCOUNT
Staff
Jun 5, 2004
32,219
64,273
I hope you don't mind me giving you some thoughts about your post.

I am afraid I got bored reading it.... and then read some of the comments that said how good it was... so tried again and got bored again.

I really wanted to read it, and there is some good stuff in it, but it just does not flow that well.

If you want to follow in the footsteps of Ally Gold you need to stop jumping around so much and let your sentences flow better.

It is just a suggestion.

Criticism always welcome, TimJ, so don't feel afraid to comment. No-one can please everyone.

Just for any sort of record, I'm not trying to follow in the footsteps of Ally at all. He's a professional journalist, I'm simply a fan that likes to chuck some thoughts about in a bit of a numpty-like way; which could be the reason for the lack of flow.

Some of the comments are very flattering and I thank you all for those.

Oh by the way, TimJ, you are now banned from all Spurs messageboards.

(I jest) :wink:.
 

sloth

Well-Known Member
Mar 7, 2005
9,018
6,900
I hope you don't mind me giving you some thoughts about your post.

I am afraid I got bored reading it.... and then read some of the comments that said how good it was... so tried again and got bored again.

I really wanted to read it, and there is some good stuff in it, but it just does not flow that well.

If you want to follow in the footsteps of Ally Gold you need to stop jumping around so much and let your sentences flow better.

It is just a suggestion.
Hey Tim, guess what, I just got bored reading your post, what a dull bit of advice and uneccesary too, I suspect in real life you're called Norman but decided to change it to Tim because it's well, more wacky and that's the kind of guy you are!!!! Do you like Monty Python too? I just bet you do and you can sing all the songs as well can't you, LOL.

Anyway, here's a suggestion from me, how about you write an article and then we can see how a real pro does it.

It is just a suggestion.
 
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