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Yes, that's how you do it. Cracking stuff. Down to the bowlers again.
 

mpickard2087

Patient Zero
Jun 13, 2008
21,886
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Hardly a shock, but another pathetic effort. And yet another series opener where we just aren't ready to go and get blown away. Praying the bowlers can work miracles and dig us out of a massive hole for the 7489738923723879233289th time.

This team (batting especially) badly needs a couple of hard-nosed abrasive tough, and maybe even nasty, ****s who relish the battle and wearing down the opposition. These lot at the moment are cowards. They just have a dash, if conditions are tricky they just have even more of a dash - individually it sometimes works, as a collective it rarely does. Need to forget about 'entertaining' and 'moving the game along', and the mindset needs to be "we're going to get in and bat two days" and individuals need to be aiming to still be there at tea time the next day.

Edit: And the people who tolerate and grow this culture of mediocrity need to have the spotlight put on them. Bayliss should have been removed from his duties for red ball cricket. I think Strauss has been deeply unimpressive as well, I know he's got family issues currently and of course sympathies to him for that, but it's been on his watch where these performances just get served up on repeat.
 

Archibald&Crooks

Aegina Expat
Admin
Feb 1, 2005
55,533
204,721
I'm going to reserve my judgement on our decision to bat first until we've had a bowl. I don't want to jump the gun on calling Root a useless cherub faced ****.
Root is a useless cherub faced **** :D

Bob Willis quite rightly slaughtered him for his decision to bat. But there are other things......every time there’s an appeal for LBW take a look at Root. It’s like he’s asking everybody what they think, I know you need to have some help but fuck me, at least give the impression that it’s not all off the cuff.

I also think the captaincy is effecting his batting big time.

Overall I just don’t think he Is suited to a job he got mainly because there was nobody else.

Root out.

And in response to the inevitable ‘who would you give the job to’ retort, I give you the one and only bumble :p
 

dagraham

Well-Known Member
Sep 20, 2005
19,115
46,080
Seems to me we’re just seeing the inevitable decline in English Test Cricket based on two things:

Firstly, we got a coach in specifically to improve us in one day cricket because we were shite at it. He’s fulfilled his remit there as we are now very competitive in white ball cricket.

However, as a consequence all our players now ( or more specifically the batsmen) seem to only operate in one day mode.

I heard Butler give an interview where he said he’s got a clear mind now and he’s just going to play his game the same way, whatever form of cricket. Sorry, that’s bollocks. Test cricket has moved on from 10, 20 years ago, but a big part of it is still occupying the crease, building partnerships, seeing off the new ball and tiring the fielding team out. Not just see ball, hit ball.

I think this attitude is really harming us, plus the other thing is that we still haven’t replaced Strauss at the top of the order or Swann as leading spin bowler.

Fuck knows what’s we’ll do when Anderson and Broad retire.
 
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UncleBuck

Well-Known Member
Aug 20, 2003
9,188
11,150
I really do fear for Test cricket globally, I think back over the last five years and we’ve regressed so much it’s almost like going back to the early 90’s.
Seeing as most players want to play IPL then turn up a week later to play in a test series I think every cricket board and the icc need to get together to work out a way forward with scheduling.
It’s a bit radical but seeing that the game is being played pretty much twelve months of the year why don’t we split the year into quarters, we can then have designated periods for tug/odi/cc/test matches wherever globally.
It might just get players a bit more focussed for the longer form of the game.
 

LSUY

Well-Known Member
Jul 12, 2005
24,010
66,826
Looking at over rates and the introduction of pink balls might help Test cricket. Fans pay for 90 overs but due to slow over rates can end up only getting 81 while the pink ball could be a way to avoid play being stopped for bad light during evening sessions.
 

dondo

Well-Known Member
Jan 4, 2006
8,603
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Jesus we are becoming one of the worst test teams around nowadays.
England vs Ireland will be a good match up I recon
 

Arnoldtoo

The thinking ape's ape
May 18, 2006
35,338
54,974
Being optimistic, and ever so slightly drunk, I think we're one good batter and one good bowler away from being a very good team. Not exceptional - that would need 2 batters to replace both Stoneman and Dawan - but good.

We really need a good opening pair. The pressure on 3+ is so much less when we've got a decent start. When was the last time we had a century opening partnership?
 

Buggsy61

Washed Up Member
Aug 31, 2012
5,551
8,921
Without wanting to sound like AVB we seem to be in a bit of a downward spiral at the moment.

Dropping 5 catches in an innings is simply a disgrace at this level and feels like a team that has lost focus. Whether Root has been given the captaincy too early I don't know, but I really don't think he should be captain now. Yesterday when he and Cook got in a mix up that nearly resulted in a run out (if the throw was accurate) he was grinning like a schoolboy and it was all a bit of a joke. Sorry, but that seems unprofessional, and I wonder if this sloppy, relaxed attitude is starting to take grip. I would prefer a bit more steely professionalism and bollockings being dished out!.

Its certainly not all Roots fault though and the team, and especially the batting line up is simply not good enough. Stoneman makes too many errors for an opener and I am still not convinced by Malan. We need a new opener and a dogged number 3. Root should revert to 4, and he is still the best batsman in the team. I just hope the selectors don't go back to messrs Vince and Jennings as I think most of us have seen enough to make our minds up.
Broad and Anderson have their best days behind them, but there is not much anyone can do about that. Moeen Ali had a bad tour, but so did a lot of people and at least he offers something in the spin department.

Things need to improve pretty smartish as we are facing a top Indian team later in the summer and it could get embarrassing.

Maybe we just need to pick a crop of good young players and give them a chance to develop, as not much else seems to be working at present.
 

dondo

Well-Known Member
Jan 4, 2006
8,603
14,091
Root is a piss poor captain and it’s effecting his batting now too.
Bylist has to go as test coach too imo. The whole test set up needs looking at.
When Pakistani batsmen and bowlers with little to no experience in English early season bowler friendly conditions are miles better than us, it’s time to re think our whole set up
 

UncleBuck

Well-Known Member
Aug 20, 2003
9,188
11,150
Beefy was going mental when Root decided to field at silly and I totally agree with him.
Something is broken mentally, along with the top order which hasn’t functioned as a unit for years now.
 

Archibald&Crooks

Aegina Expat
Admin
Feb 1, 2005
55,533
204,721
And then there's this business about which end Anderson bowls from. The fielding positions too. How many times the commentators highlighted a position where a certain batman scores heavily only to see the ball go exactly there for boundaries was actually funny.

I can't remember which one it was, might have been Nasser, pointed out Broad was fielding at (from memory so I might be wrong) long on and that a tail ender isn't hitting Anderson there and he'd be better employed being positioned third man. The very next ball, a four to third man. Fuck me, if they can see it on multiple occasions.........

Root has lost it. If he ever had it. This toss business has shown him right up but there's more than that. His whole ability as a captain is at the very least questionable. Also, I think the job comes to the detriment of Root the batsman and that's a loss we cannot afford.

The problem is, who has the gravitas, not to mention the nous, to be given the job? The England A captain is Keaton fucking Jennings. Looking at the current team who could even vaguely be a candidate? Bairstow? What about looking at the one day side? Should Morgan be given the poisoned chalice? Probably not. Is there anyone in the county game who might be drafted in just to do that job? It wouldn't be the first time we named a captain based mainly on his captaincy ability. ugh, there's nobody is there?

Not only are genuine test match batsmen thin on the ground, we're actually struggling for a captain.

Jesus , we're in for a massively depressing re-run of the 1980's aren't we? Watching England in the hope that every once in a while everything falls into place with the odd win as a reward. Only back then the bigger issue was the quality of the opposition making it hard, at least we had players with character. Nowadays we don't even seem to have much of that.

English test match cricket is dying a slow and painful death before our very eyes.

Ah well, hey ho at least the Rugby team......erm, well, we've got the football tea.........oh dear :D
 
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Ossie'sAardvark

Well-Known Member
Aug 20, 2013
2,073
2,210
Root is a useless cherub faced **** :D

Bob Willis quite rightly slaughtered him for his decision to bat. But there are other things......every time there’s an appeal for LBW take a look at Root. It’s like he’s asking everybody what they think, I know you need to have some help but fuck me, at least give the impression that it’s not all off the cuff.

I also think the captaincy is effecting his batting big time.

Overall I just don’t think he Is suited to a job he got mainly because there was nobody else.

Root out.

And in response to the inevitable ‘who would you give the job to’ retort, I give you the one and only bumble :p
The Root captaincy decision was seen as ludicrous by most. He should be told he's dropped from the CPT'y but is undroppable for the test Team for the foreseeable future. Capt'y imo,Anderson or broad...both at the end of their careers, I'd go with broad. Pressure is off from the start.
 

dondo

Well-Known Member
Jan 4, 2006
8,603
14,091
Captain root at square leg ?
We all know what to get him for Christmas, a copy of cricket captain for dummies
 

UncleBuck

Well-Known Member
Aug 20, 2003
9,188
11,150
The Root captaincy decision was seen as ludicrous by most. He should be told he's dropped from the CPT'y but is undroppable for the test Team for the foreseeable future. Capt'y imo,Anderson or broad...both at the end of their careers, I'd go with broad. Pressure is off from the start.
Broad was the only choice first time around, doesn’t play tug matches so at least his brain isn’t scrambled.
 

Arnoldtoo

The thinking ape's ape
May 18, 2006
35,338
54,974
I'm prepared to give Root more than a 3-1 win against SA, the Ashes against a much superior Australia (with no Stokes and Cook completely out of form) and less than half a match against Pakistan before calling time on his captaincy.
 
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