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The Daily ITK Discussion Thread - 11th June 2014

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Archibald&Crooks

Aegina Expat
Admin
Feb 1, 2005
55,533
204,720
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Good morning everyone.

Another dry day yesterday so we'll take another turn back in the archives to bring you an OP from bygone days, when men were men and well, Bill_Oddie wasn't about.

Dateline: Sunday the 14th July 2013.

The scene: Levy Towers. Daniel Levy is having a power breakfast with Tim Sherwood. Also present is the club's offical SC lurker. We don't know his username, but yoo-hoo! (A&C waves in his direction) we know he exists.

The Club SC Lurker: So, over on Spurs Community......

Daniel Levy splutters and chokes on his freshly ground Brazilian coffee

Daniel Levy: Them ****s! I fucking hate them!

The Club SC Lurker: As I was saying, over on Spurs Community, it seems your bastard sons have been unmasked.

Daniel Levy: Bastards!

The Club SC Lurker: Well yes.

Daniel Levy: No I meant bastards! Them bastards on SC. I'll have them one day. I've had them up to here. (Levy holds his hand up to the top of his head, approx 3ft 11 off the ground)

Levy leans forward in his high chair and hisses, 'plans are afoot to fuck them right off'.

The Club SC Lurker: Nice one, we owe them. I got a 24hr ban for saying **** on there last week.

Daniel Levy: Bastards!

The Club SC Lurker: Yeah, I was defending you at the time. I've kept a lower profile since though, can't be too obvious.

Daniel Levy: No I meant Bastards! Didn't my sons start an outraged thread?

The Club SC Lurker: No. Bastards!

Daniel Levy: Quite.............Right, our plans for Timmy. Let me run through it again. Timmy resigns, goes to manage Swindon and when AVB finally gets pissed off and leaves, we bring him back to run the first team.

Tim 'Timmy' Sherwood jumps up and down, grinning, clapping and excited.

Daniel Levy: How will that go down on SC?

The Club SC Lurker: Well, there are one or two who we have successfully fooled but overall, it won't go down very well. I'll be honest, if you do this and it goes tits up, it could mean the end of you as chairman.

Tim 'Timmy' Sherwood: Nothing will mean the end of him as Spurs chairman.

Daniel Levy: Too right it won't. I can do what I like.

All three stand to attention and sing the official Levy anthem

He does what he wants
He does what he waaaaants
He's Daniel Levy,
He does what he wants


They sit back down

Daniel Levy: The hypnotised masses will lump it and even find good reasons for me to do it.

The Club SC Lurker: Well, I have to report that although that would have been right in the past, there's a slowly growing movement of dissent against you.

Daniel Levy: Bastards!

The Club SC Lurker: Well yes.......

Daniel Levy: No I meant Bastards! Call in the Bastards!

The Club SC Lurker: I'm not sure even they will be able to save you.

Daniel Levy: So what do I do?

The Club SC Lurker: You can't afford to go through with it. Sherwood must never become Spurs manager.

Tim 'Timmy' Sherwood: awwwwww :(

Daniel Levy: I'll do what the fuck I want


All three stand to attention and sing the official Levy anthem

He does what he wants
He does what he waaaaants
He's Daniel Levy,
He does what he wants


They sit back down


The Club SC Lurker: Don't say I didn't warn you.

Levy dismisses the SC Lurker's commets with a wave of his hand.

Daniel Levy: Onto other business....... Timmy, it is a source of constant irritation to me that we cannot identify and then sign players who are potentially world class, before they start to realise that potential.

Tim 'Timmy' Sherwood: Eh?

Daniel Levy: Oh FFS! Let me put it this way. Why are we being asked for £25 to sign Benteke when we could have got him for £5m a year or two ago?

The Club SC Lurker: Probably because you wouldn't have coughed up £5m a year or two ago, you'd have tried lowballing, irritated the fuck out of the selling club, dragged it out for three years and not got him anyway.

Daniel Levy: You're spending too much time on that fucking site. Shut the fuck up.

Tim 'Timmy' Sherwood: Well, he's got a point..........

Daniel Levy: I'm surrounded by ****s

The Club SC Lurker: That's a 24hr ban

Daniel Levy: Get out.

At this point Levy climbs the ladder down from his high chair, walks up to Timmy Sherwood and start furiously jabbing a finger into he knees.

Daniel Levy: We need to start signing these players before they make a name for themselves. What is it exactly you do again? It reflects badly on me. ME! You floppy haired prick.

Tim 'Timmy' Sherwood: So shall I go to Swindon?

Daniel Levy: I dunno any more. I'll think about it.

The Club SC Lurker: So what have we actually decided this morning?

All three men look at eachother and shrug.

THE END

Now then SC. What you have to ask yourselves is this.

Is the above ITK or the product of my eating too much cheese yesterday? Or a bit of both?

Cue dramatic music.

Today's word of the day is: Knobrot
 

VegasII

Well-Known Member
May 14, 2008
9,750
16,670
Too much cheese, solvents, funky mushrooms and Sanatogen I think.

You'll be telling us that Levy's a :borg: next.

Oh and lol at the power breakfast...B'stard indeed.
 

Gaz_Gammon

Well-Known Member
Apr 16, 2005
16,047
18,013
Jesus H Christ, does no one anywhere have a scap of ITK on anythng? Get that Goat out of his pen and whoring!

































Please.
 

yankspurs

Enic Out
Aug 22, 2013
41,883
71,188
The Goat hasnt come out to play for weeks. Christ A&C, let him out once in a while for a walk at least. Pretty sure this is animal cruelty. ;)
 

DaSpurs

Well-Known Member
Jan 20, 2013
11,816
13,655
The Goat hasnt come out to play for weeks. Christ A&C, let him out once in a while for a walk at least. Pretty sure this is animal cruelty. ;)

Well maybe if you had spent that money you blew away in AC on a donation, he might've kicked the Goat hard enough to bleat something out even if it was nothing but shit. ;)
 

yankspurs

Enic Out
Aug 22, 2013
41,883
71,188
Well maybe if you had spent that money you blew away in AC on a donation, he might've kicked the Goat hard enough to bleat something out even if it was nothing but shit. ;)
I mean, i went in with the intention of coming out ahead so i can donate something, but then i lost it all....and then some.
 

eddiev14

SC Supporter
Jan 18, 2005
7,173
19,679
The Goat hasnt come out to play for weeks. Christ A&C, let him out once in a while for a walk at least. Pretty sure this is animal cruelty. ;)

Such is the filth normally posted in here, I read that as wank...

Who wants to milk the Goat now? o_O
 

Wick3d

Well-Known Member
Aug 31, 2012
5,475
11,591
I'm guessing the ITK will be more forthcoming after the world cup. At the moment it's just a waiting game really.
 

GobbyJJ

Well-Known Member
Jan 31, 2013
483
1,237
index.php
Good morning everyone.

Another dry day yesterday so we'll take another turn back in the archives to bring you an OP from bygone days, when men were men and well, Bill_Oddie wasn't about.

Dateline: Sunday the 14th July 2013.

The scene: Levy Towers. Daniel Levy is having a power breakfast with Tim Sherwood. Also present is the club's offical SC lurker. We don't know his username, but yoo-hoo! (A&C waves in his direction) we know he exists.

The Club SC Lurker: So, over on Spurs Community......

Daniel Levy splutters and chokes on his freshly ground Brazilian coffee

Daniel Levy: Them ****s! I fucking hate them!

The Club SC Lurker: As I was saying, over on Spurs Community, it seems your bastard sons have been unmasked.

Daniel Levy: Bastards!

The Club SC Lurker: Well yes.

Daniel Levy: No I meant bastards! Them bastards on SC. I'll have them one day. I've had them up to here. (Levy holds his hand up to the top of his head, approx 3ft 11 off the ground)

Levy leans forward in his high chair and hisses, 'plans are afoot to fuck them right off'.

The Club SC Lurker: Nice one, we owe them. I got a 24hr ban for saying **** on there last week.

Daniel Levy: Bastards!

The Club SC Lurker: Yeah, I was defending you at the time. I've kept a lower profile since though, can't be too obvious.

Daniel Levy: No I meant Bastards! Didn't my sons start an outraged thread?

The Club SC Lurker: No. Bastards!

Daniel Levy: Quite.............Right, our plans for Timmy. Let me run through it again. Timmy resigns, goes to manage Swindon and when AVB finally gets pissed off and leaves, we bring him back to run the first team.

Tim 'Timmy' Sherwood jumps up and down, grinning, clapping and excited.

Daniel Levy: How will that go down on SC?

The Club SC Lurker: Well, there are one or two who we have successfully fooled but overall, it won't go down very well. I'll be honest, if you do this and it goes tits up, it could mean the end of you as chairman.

Tim 'Timmy' Sherwood: Nothing will mean the end of him as Spurs chairman.

Daniel Levy: Too right it won't. I can do what I like.

All three stand to attention and sing the official Levy anthem

He does what he wants
He does what he waaaaants
He's Daniel Levy,
He does what he wants


They sit back down

Daniel Levy: The hypnotised masses will lump it and even find good reasons for me to do it.

The Club SC Lurker: Well, I have to report that although that would have been right in the past, there's a slowly growing movement of dissent against you.

Daniel Levy: Bastards!

The Club SC Lurker: Well yes.......

Daniel Levy: No I meant Bastards! Call in the Bastards!

The Club SC Lurker: I'm not sure even they will be able to save you.

Daniel Levy: So what do I do?

The Club SC Lurker: You can't afford to go through with it. Sherwood must never become Spurs manager.

Tim 'Timmy' Sherwood: awwwwww :(

Daniel Levy: I'll do what the fuck I want


All three stand to attention and sing the official Levy anthem

He does what he wants
He does what he waaaaants
He's Daniel Levy,
He does what he wants


They sit back down


The Club SC Lurker: Don't say I didn't warn you.

Levy dismisses the SC Lurker's commets with a wave of his hand.

Daniel Levy: Onto other business....... Timmy, it is a source of constant irritation to me that we cannot identify and then sign players who are potentially world class, before they start to realise that potential.

Tim 'Timmy' Sherwood: Eh?

Daniel Levy: Oh FFS! Let me put it this way. Why are we being asked for £25 to sign Benteke when we could have got him for £5m a year or two ago?

The Club SC Lurker: Probably because you wouldn't have coughed up £5m a year or two ago, you'd have tried lowballing, irritated the fuck out of the selling club, dragged it out for three years and not got him anyway.

Daniel Levy: You're spending too much time on that fucking site. Shut the fuck up.

Tim 'Timmy' Sherwood: Well, he's got a point..........

Daniel Levy: I'm surrounded by ****s

The Club SC Lurker: That's a 24hr ban

Daniel Levy: Get out.

At this point Levy climbs the ladder down from his high chair, walks up to Timmy Sherwood and start furiously jabbing a finger into he knees.

Daniel Levy: We need to start signing these players before they make a name for themselves. What is it exactly you do again? It reflects badly on me. ME! You floppy haired prick.

Tim 'Timmy' Sherwood: So shall I go to Swindon?

Daniel Levy: I dunno any more. I'll think about it.

The Club SC Lurker: So what have we actually decided this morning?

All three men look at eachother and shrug.

THE END

Now then SC. What you have to ask yourselves is this.

Is the above ITK or the product of my eating too much cheese yesterday? Or a bit of both?

Cue dramatic music.

Today's word of the day is: Knobrot

Knobrot? Can he play LB?
 
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