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The Daily ITK Discussion Thread - 13th July 2017

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Archibald&Crooks

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Good morning.

Last night I went out for a drink with the wild boys from the mingleticklers and fourflushers club, I got a bit rat arsed and when I eventually got home, I ever so slowly eased open the front door, terrified of waking Mrs A&C. I tip-toed up the stairs.

Unfortunately, I slipped on the first step and landed hard on my arse, smashing the empty bottle of Jack Daniels I had stuffed into my back pocket. Undeterred, I staggered up the stairs, goes into the bathroom and turned the light on. 'Urgh - fuck' I muttered to myself, pulled my trousers down, angled the mirror so I can see my badly bleeding arse and slowly picked out the broken shards of glass and started sticking on some plasters.

The next morning I was woken by a bucket of cold water thrown over me by a very pissed off Mrs A&C

'You went out on the piss last night, didn't you, after you promised not to, you pathetic bastard' she shouted

I never got drunk, why would you think that?' I shouted back

'Oh, I don't know, maybe it's the fact that the front door was left open, or the broken bottle of Jack Daniels in the hallway, or perhaps the trail of blood on the stairs...,' she shouted sarcastically.

'...but it's mainly the fact that the bathroom mirror is covered in fucking plasters.' :confused:

Today we go back to May 2013 in the SC archives, a day when we brought you a snippet from Daniel Levy's childhood.

Anyone remember the kiddies programme, Playschool? Because today we're going back in time. We're going back to 1972, to a detached house, somewhere in Essex.........

Little Danny Levy (ironically, he'd be known as this for all his life) had just turned 10 and as a treat his parents had allowed him to take a break from studying the atomic dynamics of protracted negotiations to watch the television for a couple of hours.

He clapped excitedly as the BBC TV announcer said 'Hello kiddies......now it's Playschool'......The programme began with it's usual mantra "A house, with a door, 1 2 3 4, ready to play, what's the day? It's..."

"Deadline Day!" shouted Litte Danny, clapping. 'How many more times must I tell you Daniel?' said his mother, who we'll call Ma Levy....... 'It's Playschool........Your supposed to shout Playschool, enough with the silly piffle about Deadline Day, whatever that is'

'Sorry mummykins' said Little Danny. 'I'll try to remember' without taking his eyes off the screen. The presenter was just coming to the end of a short story about Little Ted and Jemima doing something he didn't understand but he was sure Little Ted's fingers would really be rather smelly. Next up was the story.........

'Ok children......which window will we go through today' said the presenter.......Will it be the round window? Or maybe the square window? How about the arched window?'

"The Transfer Window!" shouted Little Danny. This annoyed Ma Levy. "Daniel, that's enough, turn that television off, that wasn't even one of the choices........what on earth is deadline day?'

"I don't know mummy" said Little Danny Levy. "Something made me say it, I don't know why"

"Well stop being so silly. Now then, go back to your room, you won't learn about the quantum mechanics of brinkmanship sitting here in front of the television, none of this window business well ever be of use to you'

Litte Danny turned off the TV and walked up the stairs. As he did so he turned to his mother, who was sat with her back to him, darning a sock. His eyes went a strange bright red colour and an evil look came across his face.

"We'll see mummy, we'll see..........."


In other news, John Terry is going to his daughters sports day this week. He's wearing his PE kit in case she wins.
 

james Stock

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Aug 31, 2012
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Meanwhile Barkley trained with Everton but was left out of their pre season overseas jaunt, as he has a groin strain. This coincides with the sudden removal of large images of the player from one end of the stadium. I smell movement and it's not what you think.
 

shelfmonkey

Weird is different, different is interesting.
Mar 21, 2007
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Nice work once again A&C:ROFLMAO:

AliZ ITK, WOOOOO!!! Bye bye Walker, welcome Ricardo! Well, I hope it happens anyway. (y)
 

spursfan77

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Aug 13, 2005
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Ali Z also posted this, doesn't look like it made it into the last thread. Two from Germany we've been linked with are Meyer and also the under 21 right back who looked pretty good. Anyway, here's what he said:

No mention of anything else apart from some kid from Germany sorry,
 

Archibald&Crooks

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if the ITK is correct its lining up to be a very shitty window :cry:
Relax, there's a long way to go yet :D

When the window closes we'll either all be thrilled or, as has been more frequent over the past few years, get posts wishing all sorts of disasters on our pet munchkin with the usual standard BSoDL-isms of 'Do you want to do a Leeds' or 'The grass isn't always greener' and the all time classic 'be careful what you wish for'

Strap yourselves in and enjoy the ride and we'll have a laugh along the way.
 

samspurs92

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May 17, 2010
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if the ITK is correct its lining up to be a very shitty window :cry:

Out - Walker, Sissoko

In - Barkley, Pereira, Pau, Foyth

How is that shitty? Looks cracking to me.

The only sour note is Walker to City but we've done a lot worse and we're charging an extortionate price.
 

Everlasting Seconds

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Jan 9, 2014
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Ai ai ai, imagine the BSoDL if Levy manages to sell Walker to Barca after Alves signed for PSG. We won't hear the end of it. In 2025: "Yes, yes, yes, we haven't won anything but you forget that he sold Walker to Barca".
 

dagraham

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Sep 20, 2005
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Don't like the "very unlikely to happen" part referring to Dier. I get the vibe that if Utd bid big enough we'll sell.
 

WiganSpur

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Aug 31, 2012
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Out - Walker, Sissoko

In - Barkley, Pereira, Pau, Foyth

How is that shitty? Looks cracking to me.

The only sour note is Walker to City but we've done a lot worse and we're charging an extortionate price.
Would hardly say it's cracking. Maybe not disastrous but still looks timid and not very brave. We have a good squad already but I do think a forward is a key player to bring in. A better GKN if you like would give us something we are missing, especially when Son is not playing. Add another striker or inside forward to that list then i'd say it's been a good window.

I'm also quite sceptical of our ability to pull those first two important deals off. They might seem likely now, but regularly we see ones that look like they could happen go tits up very quickly.

Hopefully something picks up soon regarding Pereira now Walker is seemingly close to the exit door though.
 

klink

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Apr 10, 2005
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Out - Walker, Sissoko

In - Barkley, Pereira, Pau, Foyth

How is that shitty? Looks cracking to me.

The only sour note is Walker to City but we've done a lot worse and we're charging an extortionate price.

Cracking might be overstating it but definitely not shitty. Impossible to be certain any of them will be a success at this point but a load of potential.
 

rossdapep

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Aug 25, 2011
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Don't like the "very unlikely to happen" part referring to Dier. I get the vibe that if Utd bid big enough we'll sell.
We have had other ITK that says he definitely won't be leaving and "very unlikely to happen" just sounds like they are covering themselves should the event happen.

I don't think he'll be gone as we've had many messages that state Poch won't sell who he doesn't want to.
 

Mattspurs1982

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Aug 2, 2011
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Out - Walker, Sissoko

In - Barkley, Pereira, Pau, Foyth

How is that shitty? Looks cracking to me.

The only sour note is Walker to City but we've done a lot worse and we're charging an extortionate price.

Just missing that one WOW player to take us up a level. Barkley is decent, but a Hazard-type game changer in one of the front 3 would have made it an amazing window. Let's see, you never know ala VDV and although JJ said Lemar unlikely, he's still not moved clubs anywhere yet...
 

rossdapep

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Aug 25, 2011
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Sounds like the Walker deal is close or has been completed so I hope that gets announced soon enough and we can bring in a couple pretty quickly.

Perreira would be a good replacement as he offers that rapid pace and intensity that Tripper may lack.
I'm spoken about my belief in Barkley being an excellent signing.
Whereas Pau and Foyth are a couple of astute signings with eyes on the future.
The Italian links lead me to believe we are still looking at one more - who I am convinced is Kean.
 

Cyspurs

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Aug 27, 2010
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Just missing that one WOW player to take us up a level. Barkley is decent, but a Hazard-type game changer in one of the front 3 would have made it an amazing window. Let's see, you never know ala VDV and although JJ said Lemar unlikely, he's still not moved clubs anywhere yet...
We have that already......=> Erik Lamela this will finally be his year!
 
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