- Feb 1, 2005
Here's todays thread.
Be good and nasty things won't happen to you.
Today we go back to 2014, to a time when Tim Sherwood had been appointed manager
This morning we're pleased to be able to give you an exclusive and quite possibly completely made up interview with none other than Spurs temporary manager, Timothy Sherwood.
The interview took place is SC's plush offices the location of which i'm afraid we cannot reveal until the BSoDL withdraw the fatwah.
SC INTERVIEW WITH TIM SHERWOOD
SC Interviewer with big norks: So, Tim, welcome to SC, how are you settling in to your new job?
Tim Sherwood (eyes transfixed on the big norks): Yeah. Big, erm, brilliant, yeah.
SC Interviewer with big norks: Were you surprised to get the job?
Tim Sherwood: No not really. I've always been confident in my ability.
SC Interviewer with big norks: Well, that's fine, but you don't have much managerial experience do you? In fact, you don't have any. What do you think qualifies you for such a big job?
Tim Sherwood: Well, the club has a Subbuteo league every season and I won the title three years running.
SC Interviewer with big norks: Subbuteo?
Tim Sherwood: Yeah, the chairman loves it. He gets to run around on the pitch with his heroes and all that, left the FA cup, score goals, you know, it makes him feel like a pro. The only rule is that nobody is allowed to flick him up the bum. He's got quite a bit of pace actually……...
SC Interviewer with big norks:
Tim Sherwood (still staring at the norks): Ever slept with a premiership manager?
SC Interviewer with big norks: Erm no. So your saying you got the job because you won the office Subbuteo league?
Tim Sherwood: Well, not JUST that……..I had to plan ahead like.
SC Interviewer with big norks: In what way?
Tim Sherwood: Well, I get listened to a lot when it comes to buying players. I make sure I vote against whoever the manager wants, then buy some right crap, slowly slowly catcheee monkey. as long as I go cheap, Levy loves me.
SC Interviewer with big norks: That's outrageous.
Tim Sherwood: Isn't it? So as you can see, i'm a smart cookie.
SC Interviewer with big norks: Smart or smarmy?
Tim Sherwood: Yeah I love cricket!
SC Interviewer with big norks: eh?
Tim Sherwood: Smarmy army! Smarmy army!
SC Interviewer with big norks: What the fuck…….
Tim Sherwood: Everywhere we go-oh………People want to know-oh
SC Interviewer with big norks: What are you doing?
Tim Sherwood: No, the next line is who we are
SC Interviewer with big norks: I think that's slowly becoming more and more obvious.
Tim Sherwood: Chill babe, I got this. Goodnight.
SC Interviewer with big norks: OK, lets start again shall we? Swansea away, a tough game, how will you be approaching it?
Tim Sherwood: Well, I was thinking M4 and then the A483
SC Interviewer with big norks: Oh for fucks sake. That's not what I meant. The game, the game, how will you play against fucking Swansea?
Tim Sherwood: We'll attack them from out wide. I'm playing 6 wingers in the hope of nullifying their midfield. It'll be a hard game but as I keep saying to the lads, we're only ever three flicks from a goal.
SC Interviewer with big norks: Flicks?
Tim Sherwood: *Makes Subbuteo flicking gesture………...You got it babe. Champions! Champions!
SC Interviewer with big norks: *sighs and mutters under her breath 'This club is well and truly fucked'
SC Interviewer with big norks: Thanks for your time Tim
Tim Sherwood: Pleasure, babe. Want to comeback to mine? See my league title medal?
SC Interviewer with big norks: I'll pass thanks.
Tim Sherwood: Fucking hell babe, if you can pass, i'll sign you up! Here's a pen *unzips flies
SC Interviewer with big norks: Fuck right off.
At this point the interview was terminated. At no point during the interview did Tim Sherwoods eyes leave the SC interviewers big norks. The SC interviewer with the big norks was played by Bill Oddie. The big norks were played by Stoof and TSH.