The Daily ITK Discussion Thread - 20th July

Discussion in 'The January 2017 Transfer Rumour archive' started by Archibald&Crooks, Jul 20, 2017.

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  1. Archibald&Crooks

    Archibald&Crooks Aegina Expat Admin

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    Morning lunatics

    Ready for another day in the asylum? Of course you are.

    Mrs A&C thinks I should act more like a gentleman. That's bullshit - this morning I even held the door open for her when she took the rubbish out.

    Today we take you back to 30th July 2013, in this thread on that day we gave you this....(for context this was just before Bale moved to Madrid)

    Got your coffee, toast and a fag on the go? OK, here we go.........

    Location Madrid.

    The heat was stifling. Daniel Levy mopped his brow for about the thirtyeth time as he sat in the large black 4x4 watching. His men were in position and it was all down to timing. If they got this right revenge would be his. He smiled at the thought. He was going to fuck that bastard right up. No messing.

    Suddenly their mark appeared. As Florentino Perez opened the door to his car Levy's henchmen sprang into action. One distracted him while a second burly skinheaded man tapped him over the head with a cosh. 'Did you see that?' laughed Levy.........'Perez went down like the sack of shit he is'......He watched keenly as the unconscious Perez was bundled into the back of a van. The radio crackled into life 'Broadsword calling Danny Boy, Broadsword calling Danny Boy'......Levys eyes rolled back in his head as he sighed. Them silly ****s still thank that's funny he thought to himself as he clicked the radio. 'Danny Boy to Broadsword, well done. You know where to take him'.....The radio crackled again 'Check......Levyland, ETA 12 hours'

    'Okay' said Levy, 'time to roll, lets get there'

    'What about Soldado?' asked his assistant, Timmykins Sherwood. 'Fuck Soldado, that can wait. We've got a whole month to deal with that' (Note from A&C: I love this bit. You get a story AND the reason why it's taking so long)

    12 hours later. Levyland. Only 4 people were present. Daniel Levy, Florentino Perez, Timmykins Sherwood and Gareth Bale. All four men were dressed in Levy's 'uniform' which he only wears in private.

    What happened next cannot be described without resulting in at least some of you having to undergo therapy. Having said that, you all need a few sessions anyway, so i'll crack on. Perhaps it's best captured by taking a photo. It's real, none of that photoshopped palaver, I was there. You want to know what happened don't you? You're all such whores.

    Show Spoiler

    And so it came to pass that Florentino Perez was set free and clearly understood who and what he was dealing with. He knows that we have the negatives and he knows we'll use them. But don't worry Senor Perez. The soreness will fade and you'll soon stop walking bow legged. You might get him, but it'll be when we want and for the price we want. That or you can fuck off. You might fuck with the rest of the footballing word, but where Levy is concerned, HE does the fucking. Remember that fatso.

    HAVE YOU DONATED THIS MONTH/YET/AT ALL?

    As you all know, SC relies largely on your donations to be able to provide a unrivalled coverage of ITK, if it wasn't for you guys, the server would crash left right and centre and we simply couldn't afford to be as awesome and sexy as I am, I mean we are.

    In one transfer window we ran a poll asking when people thought we'd sign Benteke (haha). The poll got an astonishing number of votes, over 600 of you took part.

    Six bloody hundred. And that's just the yokes who bothered voting. Whichever way you slice it that's a lot. If everyone slung just three or four quid in the pot we'd be sorted for quite a while, so if you've never donated before, please consider doing so now.

    I reckon we've about 500 or more lurkmeisters, so come on guys, if you're one of them and you enjoy SC's coverage of the Transfer Window (and lets face it, you do because you're here right?), then please chip in. It doesn't have to be a massive amount. A monkey will do. Nah i'm kidding.......Why not a long 'un? Or even a pony? hehe, seriously though, a cockle would be great or even a lady. In fact whatever you can stretch to.

    And if you happen to be a Spurs mad gazzillionaire, cough the fuck up. And if you're Daniel Levy, fucking hell shortstuff, put your hands in your pockets. And get the BSoDL to chip in too.

    After the spam and stuff we have to put up with it's the least you can do right? :D

    Thanks in advance.
     
    Last edited: Jul 20, 2017
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  2. robertgoulet

    robertgoulet SC Resident Crooner Extraordinaire

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    Just had kid 2 end of June. Middle name Kane. £15 donated because kids are expensive.
     
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  3. yankspurs

    yankspurs "We're not a selling club"

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    Well in about 2 weeks you'll be getting £100 from me thanks to the Trump bet me and @thinktank made and another £30 if/when we sign someone so I'm tapped out for a bit.
     
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  4. ravo

    ravo SC Supporter

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    I'll donate at the end of the window as usual. £20.
     
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  5. Clark28

    Clark28 Well-Known Member

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    Sending some convict money ur way, it's worth FA once converted to GBP.
     
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  6. o1fozzybear

    o1fozzybear Possibly the biggest fuckwit of all time!

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    Donated you begging bastard!

    Back to lurking.
     
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  7. daryl hannah

    daryl hannah Active Member

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    waiting for pay day (monday) ;)
     
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  8. Archibald&Crooks

    Archibald&Crooks Aegina Expat Admin

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    Just don't go squandering it on food and rent :D
     
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  9. freeeki

    freeeki Well-Known Member

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    I haven't been paid for last month yet, so I'll soon be due two months wages... if/when they arrive I'll slip you a couple of cheeky farthings*.



    *not a euphemism for digits
     
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  10. wishkah

    wishkah Well-Known Member

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    Taking the count from now I'll stick in 100. Don't drink
     
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  11. Wellspurs

    Wellspurs Well-Known Member

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    That's about $100 these days
     
  12. atoubasrightfoot

    atoubasrightfoot Active Member

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    Were there any more travel reports from Judith Chalmers (sorry Jetset)? I still haven't booked my summer holiday this year yet....
     
  13. Croftwoodspurs

    Croftwoodspurs Active Member

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    Will donate £10.00 later when I get out of this boring meeting... Still have my monthly £6.00 set-up...

    Donated...
     
    Last edited: Jul 20, 2017
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  14. Archibald&Crooks

    Archibald&Crooks Aegina Expat Admin

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    This thread is not rammed up with 1000 similar guesses so take a wild punt on the answer to your question........:playful:
     
  15. atoubasrightfoot

    atoubasrightfoot Active Member

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    Got you. I'll go back to my original theory that he's a plant by Walls Ice Cream and is subliminally planting Cornettos in everyones minds when this place goes into melt down every few hours....
     
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  16. Everlasting Seconds

    Everlasting Seconds Well-Known Member

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    Are you looking for some place nice?
     
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  17. GobbyJJ

    GobbyJJ Active Member

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    Is Levy back in Madrid?
     
  18. SwedishSpurs

    SwedishSpurs I have seen the contract

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    Have been reading here for a while but never posted anything until now. I just wanted to say thank you to all you members who is writing here. Both interesting and entertaining discussions, which makes this site my far most visited site on the internet. And oh, I've just donated £10. I wish I could have donated a bit more but I'm not really too rich at the moment :cry:.
     
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  19. t79boy

    t79boy Flying Dutchman

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    Welcome buddy
     
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  20. FibreOpticJesus

    FibreOpticJesus Active Member

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    £20 in the bin plus another when we sign a 1st teamer
     
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