The Daily ITK Discussion Thread - 20th June 2012

[Archibald&Crooks]

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Another day passes and the speculation about AVB is rampant. But we also had some ITK as well, which makes a nice change. Although i'm starting to think (due to the sheer weight of speculation) that is it probably AVB now, but each day that passes without an announcement makes you wonder if it might not be him at all. If I were a betting man i'd say that if he's not in place within the week, start looking elsewhere.


Last night the wife said to me, 'If I had a pound for every time you insulted me...' So I replied 'You'd be able to afford liposuction, you fat ****'



On with the ITK.............

Paulk Smiff, on SO fanned the AVB flames.............

I believe AVB is 1/5 to take over.

I'm being given his name by more than one good source tonightl

For those interested, his info is usually VERY reliable..........
The Archibald on Corluka..............

Re: Corluka........hes following his international manager to the same country

For those intrested, this backs up what the commentator said during the Italy v Croatia game on the 14th...........

I had to return a load of Greek porn DVD's yesterday when it turned out none of them contained a 'money shot'

Right, following on from yesterday's visit to the SC archives here's part 2 of our investigation into ITK, this instalment is called 'Cryptics'.............

Part 2: Cryptics

I'd been hoping we'd cover the subject of cryptics and I eagerly nodded in anticipation.

The Oracle stared at me intently. "Red Red Wiiiiine" he said......'stay close to me?' I replied as we continued following the blue line before stopping at a door with a combination lock.

Several beeps later and the door swung open to reveal a dimly lit room, The Oracle held a finger up to his lips in a shhhh motion as we silently walked in, the only sound was that of The Oracle's heavier club foot hitting the ground, reminding me of a three legged horse trying to have a gallop.

"Meet our chief cryptologist.....we call her Dedeco"

Inside, sat at a table, I could make out an elegant female figure, The Oracle's eyes were fixed on her, he wrung his hands together and wiped some saliva from his fat lips, he was obviously mentally dogbolting her......

The shadowy figure of the female gestured and said, in a voice with more than a hint of Marlene Deitrich to it, "take a seat, make yourself comfortable", I sat down and watched as she lit a cigarette and slowly turned over a Tarot card to reveal a ladder being carried by a masked figure with the body of a Goat

"So you want to know about ITK" she asked huskily as she drew deeply on her cigarette, so deeply that I almost looked under the table to see if smoke was coming out of her snatch.

"Can I ask a question", I ventured......

"Of course"

"cryptics.......why?"

She smiled "It drives you crazy huh?.........Cryptics come into play when one of our ITK's sources stop short at actually giving a name. The ITK has to tell the masses something and doesn't want to look as if secrets are being kept from them, they lose face.......So they get in touch and ask for a cryptic"

"Which you then give them?"

"Most of the time, yes"

"Most of the time?"

"Well, there was the 'Steve' incident....some poor fool thought he could make up his own, any clot with the intelligence of plankton could solve that one"

I laughed, remembering the incident very well.

I hesitated to ask the next question but in for a penny and all that so I took a deep breath and asked it......"You do know that these cryptics can be twisted almost any which way don't you?"

She immediately tensed up, her eyes turned to slits as she viciously stubbed out her cigarette......Suddenly she relaxed and smiled, then threw her head back and laughed......

"That's the beauty of them........the masses spend all that time trying to make sense of clues that for the most part can never be solved"

I'd long suspected it, but still wondered what she was holding back from me........."So can you give me a cryptic about who Spurs are going to sign this summer?"

Her eyelashes fluttered and her eyes rolled to the back of her head as her whole body tensed and relaxed and then tensed again........Her voice deepened and sounded almost exactly like Darth Vader when she spoke......

"You're on thin fucking ice my pedigree chums" She said before finally her body relaxed and she gasped for air. "What's that mean then?" I asked...."It isn't for me to say.......You must solve it for yourself. Seek the answer from within........

"Were you ever an ITK?" I asked as I struggled to make sense of what i'd just heard

"No, but I was married to one" she sighed as she shook her head sadly....."I haven't seen him for years"

"why is that?"

"He ignored Rule No1 during the period of the Great Torres speculation" I immediately knew the identity of her former husband......"He's the guy who said 'done deal' isn't he?"

She nodded...."Nobody has heard from him since"......I heard the door open and saw The Oracle, standing talking to a minion who was holding a clipboard

"What's his story?" I whispered

"You wouldn't be able to handle. the truth about The Oracle" she said......"He's an amazing man, a dangerous man and....." She hesitated.

"And?" I asked, my curiosity aroused.......

She glanced across at The Oracle and leaned across the table to whisper in my ear "He's a ruthless man....don't cross him"

"Right then A&C said The Oracle, breaking into my thoughts as I wondered what the incredible truth about him could possibly be, has Dedeco been looking after you?" He glanced at my groin area, no doubt checking my trousers for any telltale spunk stains.

"Yes, thank you" I replied, "Just one more question, if I may?"

"Hurry up, hurry up" said The Oracle, glancing at his watch

"Given that you resort to cryptics, do you feel there's a case to say that it undermines all ITK?

Dedeco immediately glanced up at The Oracle, who had gone pale, his eyes wide open and a nervous tic that I hadn't noticed before was fluttering his right eye twenty to the dozen.

Then he laughed. Such a high pitched laugh that only the cats and dogs within a two mile radius heard it.

"You obviously aren't a student of human nature A&C, there's nothing that will ever quench the insatiable appetite for ITK.........Come, time is short and there's much to see"

"Where we going now?" I asked as I waved goodbye to Dedeco who had resumed playing with her Tarot cards.

"To the Treehouse" He smiled as he casually flicked a bogey at a passing minion.

Dedeco heard our destination and smiled as she slowly returned the card she'd drawn when I arrived back into the pack as we left the room. Her cryptic was bouncing around and around in my head as we walked........

"You're on thin fucking ice my pedigree chums"......I had that feeling you get when you know you're not far from the answer but it remains elusive............"You're on thin fucking ice my pedigree chums".....

Coming soon, part 3: The Treehouse

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[voodoo]

So hopefully today is "D" day on our manager situation.

 

[spivmaster]

I had to return a load of Greek porn DVD's yesterday when it turned out none of them contained a 'money shot'

 

[Singaspursofsixspence]

Wow. If Corluka goes, will that signal the end of our Croatian contingent? Not bad returns if you ask me, 11M for Kranjcar and Croluka if you believe the press...that's good business!

Wonder if our shiny new prospective manager has any input yet on the outgoings and incomings of our club yet?

 

[andyp8080]

Morning! A&C.......do you ever sleep???

 

[Twizzle]

hi..............and welcome to AVB Day here at fun city central

we'll be back after this break

 

[Cyspurs]

Well if we believe JJetset (a.k.a jermaine can only pass back jenas) than we can disregard AtlantaYid's new ITK, since he is saying that DL wants a DOF and JJ is adamant there's no way that will happen!

 

[moomin]

Well if we believe JJetset (a.k.a jermaine can only pass back jenas) than we can disregard AtlantaYid's new ITK, since he is saying that DL wants a DOF and JJ is adamant there's no way that will happen!

i think JJ was being a smart ass and saying levy wouldn't want someone as specifically a DOF, as he later went on to rate "agree" on a post that said that it wouldn't be the DOF title but something similar, basically having the same responsibilities as a DOF would

idk maybe im looking into it too much

 

[Dr Know]

Well if we believe JJetset (a.k.a jermaine can only pass back jenas) than we can disregard AtlantaYid's new ITK, since he is saying that DL wants a DOF and JJ is adamant there's no way that will happen!

Was that "no way that would happen!" or was it "no way that would happen whilst Harry was manager!"

 

[Gbspurs]

Since it takes my dad weeks to tell me anything interesting I just had another chat with him about his chat with Harry when playing golf. They were talking about players (no idea why as my old man hates football, probably just earwiging on a convo!) and Harry said he was interested in signing the Irish lad at Sunderland. Dad said he did say a name but because he doesn't like football he couldn't remember it (probably McClean)

Pretty irrelevant now as Harry gone and targets changed but when he said that to me it occurred to me that I can't remember us ever being linked to him by the media or ITK so it suprised me that Harry was so open about it!

 

[Singaspursofsixspence]

So AVB as coach and Sherwood as Technical Director? Wonder who's the Assistant Coach then, Sir Les and Ray Wilkins?

 

[rawhide]

Thanks A&C, concise as always!

So is it just a matter of when AVB is announced?

 

[worcestersauce]

so maybe AVB not because he's the best but because he will work with a DOF, is that a good thing?

 

[dk-yid]

i think JJ was being a smart ass and saying levy wouldn't want someone as specifically a DOF, as he later went on to rate "agree" on a post that said that it wouldn't be the DOF title but something similar, basically having the same responsibilities as a DOF would

idk maybe im looking into it too much

Or a slightly different portfolio than a previous DOF. I think there are many ways to cut the overall portfolio and share responsibilities between the different actors. I don't think it is a case of a set job description for DOF and another for the coach.

 

[InOffMeLeftShin]

i think JJ was being a smart ass and saying levy wouldn't want someone as specifically a DOF, as he later went on to rate "agree" on a post that said that it wouldn't be the DOF title but something similar, basically having the same responsibilities as a DOF would

idk maybe im looking into it too much

I'll post it here as well since we are on the subject in here. JJ has said that we won't be going back to a Director of Football like we had last time around. With regards to Sherwood's role at the club:

Don't think he will be Director of Football in charge of transfers etc. I think it has been mentioned technical director, which would mean he has no involvement on transfers etc. but would have the role of integrating the footballing principles from the new head coach through the different levels of the club. That'll probably mean involvement on the training ground with the first team all the way down through the academy so that at every level we are playing the type of football demanded by the head coach but also to develop the technical qualities of the younger players so that they can progress more seamlessly to senior football. He may have involvement with the scouting (which if the new manager is AVB will likely have a new emphasis considering the detail of AVB's own scouting reports) of younger players who would enter the academy or junior levels to ensure they have the qualities needed to fit the new footballing philosophies. It's a promotion from his job with the development group.

That would be my guess at what his role would include.

so maybe AVB not because he's the best but because he will work with a DOF, is that a good thing?

I very much doubt that'd be it. I think Levy is looking for a coach with distinct modern coaching principles and techniques. He wants to make best use of the great new facility we have. I don't think he'd choose a worse coach simply because he would be OK working with a Director of Football and I am sure if AVB gets the job then it'll be because he has convinced Levy that he is in with the vision that Levy has for the club and that his coaching abilities can get the most out of our current players and help to develop new stars for the future.

 

[AngerManagement]

So was the Blanc story wide of he mark? or is he one of the people we are supposedly talking to but less of a priority for the role than AVB?

 

[worcestersauce]

buy the ITK said we spoke to moyes but he wanted full control and that's why he didn't get the gig.

 

[Dan Ashcroft]

So AVB as coach and Sherwood as Technical Director? Wonder who's the Assistant Coach then, Sir Les and Ray Wilkins?

Both AVB's previous assistants, Pereira and Di Matteo, have managerial jobs now, so he wont be re-assembling a previous team. I think Wilkins would be ideal.

 

[BelgianBrownie]

Edmonton over on COYS has said to me several times, and posted a couple of times, that Sherwood is not that highly rated by members of the board.

However, that was always in relation to the manager post.

DOF? I guess a different set of skills needed plus a scouting network, good contacts and the ability to work with the manager at the time. Does Sherwood have all that?

 

[InOffMeLeftShin]

Edmonton over on COYS has said to me several times, and posted a couple of times, that Sherwood is not that highly rated by members of the board.

However, that was always in relation to the manager post.

DOF? I guess a different set of skills needed plus a scouting network, good contacts and the ability to work with the manager at the time. Does Sherwood have all that?

Technical Director...