- Feb 1, 2005
It has been brought to our attention that Daniel Levy's offices, located in a Portakabin in the building site of the new stadium has been trashed by vandals. The CCTV floating around on Youtube shows an unidentified but very bald and very very short man receiving an alert on his mobile that the transfer window might be shortened and going berserk, ripping up files, smashing furniture and settling light to his secretaries tits. He was also filmed writing furiously on a sheet of A4 paper and holding it up to the CCTV where it reads "Fuck you lot, you ****s, it'll never happen, lots of love DL"
Police refused to comment, which is hardly surprising given that the same day an anonymous donation was made to the rozzers 'beat a confession out of a perp' foundation and pictures surfaced of the Chief Inspector shaking hands with a very short hooded man stood on a box.
SC has since learned that they are now looking for 7ft tall man with lustrous hair to help them with their enquiries.
One last thing........
None of the above is cryptic or has hidden meaning before some genius starts spamming us all with magical solutions. You didn't even get the last one yet.