- Feb 1, 2005
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Good morning ITK-ers
I can't be arsed today so we take a trip down memory lane to the 21st August 2012………When this was first posted.
GET YOUR TEETH OUT FOR THE LADS
Daniel Levy look at himself in the mirror and shook his head. He leaned forward, splashed cold water onto his face and looked in the mirror again. It didn't help. He still couldn't believe what he'd just done. Had he really bent Doris the WHL tea lady over her trolly and slipped her one? The memory of seeing her teeth slip out and come to rest in the middle of a custard cream slice made him shudder. Still, the nosh afterwards wasn't bad. In fact it was excellent, the best he'd ever had. Toothless hags give good blowjobs he thought to himself as he straightened his tie.
He went back to his desk and checked his day diary, ah yes, he thought, he had an appointment shortly with Luka Modric's agent. His mind went back to the day before. He'd held negotiations with several different players but hadn't decided who he was going to sign yet. The buzzer on his desk went off. He instinctively threw himself onto the floor began frantically searching for his dildo before realising it was his desk buzzer. He must change that buzzer to something that sounded a little less similar.
Modric's agent walked in and shook hands with Levy, who motioned for him to take a seat. "Good morning Your Levyness' said the agent. 'I'm here to demand that you sell Luka Modric to Real Madrid' Levy smiled. 'I'd be happy to but there is a complication' The agent nodded and took out his notebook. 'I am told you have agreed the fee and you have agreed with Luka with regard his bonus, what is this complication?' Levy slid a folder across the desk. The agent opened it and leafed through the contents.
Modric's agent looked up, he couldn't believe that he'd read. 'Until that's paid in full, he's going nowhere' said Levy. 'He's not going to fleece this club'........The agent was still shocked. 'Are these figures correct?' he asked. 'Checked and double checked' said Levy. 'So, since you signed Luka, you've spent £4 million on his teeth?'....Levy took a sheet out from the folder and read from the list. 'Straightening, filing, buffing, veneers and diamond drilling.......Did you see the state of his Hampsteads when we signed him? Awful they were. Look at them now, a wonderful set of gnashers and all paid for by the club. He either coughs up or gives us the teeth back'
Modric's agent was stunned. "I'll have to call him' Levy smiled. 'Feel free' the agent picked his mobile and within moments was chatting away excitedly in Croatian. After several minutes he ended the call. 'Luka will not pay'. Levy shook his head. 'Then Luka will stay. Or he can give the teeth back. Look on the bright side. If he has them out he'll give terriffic blowjobs'
'huh?' exclaimed Modric's agent. ''Never mind, forget it' laughed Levy as his dismissed memories of Doris and the custard cream slice. Although he didn't quite dismiss the memory fully. As evidenced by a pleasant twitching in his CK boxer shorts. 'Mr Levy you are one hard bastard when it comes to negoitiating' said the agent. 'But we need this deal to go through, I shall return'
Levy lit a great big massive Cuban cigar which was at least a foot long. 'You do that winkle.......and bring either a cheque or that rat faced ****'s teeth with you' He took a couple of extra deep puffs. 'Now fuckoff' The agent got up and as he left he office, Levy pushed down on the button on his intercom. 'Yes Mr Levy?' asked his big titted secretary who banged like a shithouse door. 'Debbie' said Levy........'Ever thought about having your teeth out?'...............
NEXT TIME: Does Modric pay the money or give up his pegs? What will Debbie do?
Oh and PLEASE, take the Ings transfer rules stuff to his thread now, its boring me.
Laters slags.
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