- Feb 1, 2005
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Sorry this is late, i've just flown back from Munich. Had a bit of a misunderstanding at the airport.......the girl at the check-in desk said, "Window or aisle?"
I replied, "Window or you'll what?"
Yesterday our cup overflowed with ITK, today, we're running our lips along the inside of the cup, hoping to squeeze just one more drop out of it.
We start off with some info whored from FTL by Bizzy Biz......
Something never sits right with me when personal opinion in chucked into ITK.........Agnes said:
Then, our first contender for this week's 'No Shit Sherlock' award.......in a post regarding Leandro........
We will, we will :dance:ROBinBBK said:
Our second contender for the NSS......
Not completed yet? The official site agrees!Archibald said:
Then, more on Joe Cole
Yeah, maybe we haven't heard the last of it.archibald said:
And that was it.
Right, on with Part 3 of our ongoing ITK saga..........
Part three: The Treehouse
After a journey of about a half an hour, which included several changes of vehicle to throw of any possible tail we arrived at a house in a typical suburban road and were hustled through the front door. As I went in I was
sure I caught a glimpse of a 7ft tall figure dressed in Arabic clothing scurrying up the stairs but my train of thought was interrupted when I was hustled straight through the house and into the back garden.
At the end of the garden stood this great big Oak tree and as we got closer I could make out the construction which gave it its name. Behind some thick branches and camouflage netting sat what was easily the biggest treehouse i've ever seen.
I was told I could have five minutes inside and as I climbed the ladder which led into a hold in the floor of the treehouse I wa greeted by the sight of a middle aged fat guy, shaven headed and dressed in Stone Island gear kneeling at a window staring through a pair of binoculars....
"It's Kyle Naughton....no Kyle Walker....erm Bobby Zamora....what's he fucking doing here?"
Another guy was furiously making notes as he spoke, there were 4 laptops, each connected to a different Spurs Forum and he was cut and pasting like the clappers.
"You must be BEN" I asked as he looked at me over his shoulder.
"Nah mate BEN's th....."
"He doesn't need to know!" came the voice of The Oracle from behind me, the guy with the binoculars asked if i'd like to take a look, an offer which I
took him up on.
I kneeled at the opening and was greeted by the site of the Spurs squad in training and figures stood huddled in groups around the traing area.
"Wanna hear what he's saying? He asked as he pointed a device with a short stubby aerial in the general direction of Harry Redknapp.......... I put on the headphones as he fine tuned the aerial and immediately heard Harry shouting.......
"fucking run araaaand you lazy pricks"
"Tom, hey Tom! giving the ball away like that is fucking criminal......I thought I was the one up in court"
"Useless fat ****.........Where's Sky Sports today then? It's been 14 minutes since I gave an interview"
I took of the headphones and put the binoculars down........"So this is your major source then is it?"
The Oracle smiled, "No......its just one of our information gathering tools......The tree got a certain amount of fame in the early days and we've kept it going, more out of sentiment that necessity......we have other, more reliable sources"
The Oracle then excused himself "I'll be back in a few moments, Dean here will look after you" he said gesturing toward the Stone Island clad neanderthal.
"It's Deano boss" he grunted as The Oracle hopped on his minders back who carried him down the ladder.
I realised I had a chance here to get some proper inside information, "So Deano.......what's the story with your boss?"
"The boss was in at the start......the very first ITK"
This surprised me as I had always thought that the very first ITK was BEN.......and i'd seen hide nor hair of him. Here, at the fabled tree.....Very strange.
Suddenly he was back. "Come A&C, time is short and there's much to do" I climbed down the ladder and followed The Oracle back through the house and into the waiting car. As soon as we got in the car he was on the phone.....
"Just type it exactly as I say it.........Levy's penny pinching has cost us big time.......yes, yes, you know which name to release it under"
He ended the call and let out a long sigh......
"You don't like Daniel Levy do you?........Don't you think it's a bit dangerous to mix personal opinion with ITK?"
He didn't answer.
"Who would you say is your top ITK?"
Again, no answer.........I turned my head and saw that he was staring at me. A cold, calculating stare. Quite unnerving actually, then he laughed, pulled of what was a fake nose and eyebrows and shook off the boot which gave the impression that he had a club foot.
"I think I can trust you not to go back to Spurs Community and blabber the truth all over the internet"
"Of course you can"
"Well" He went on.......My real name is BEN"
"I'd begun to suspect that to be honest"
"Well here's something that'll really shock you"
Go on I said, in anticipation.
"Promise me you'll not tell SC?"
"Hand on heart, i'll keep strictly schtum"
"My second name is Levy"
Eek
Next time we find out more as I delve deeper into the murky world of ITK.
Who exactly is BEN? Why is he masquerading as 'The Oracle'........WHat's his grudge against Daniel Levy and how much did Deano pay for that Stone Island shirt...........
Now then, it would be much appreciated if you could stretch to a small donation to SC. We don't ask much. A Pound or two here and there or more if you're a high flying executive. Say a fiver? 'kay?
