- Feb 1, 2005
- 55,701
- 205,873
- Admin
- #1
On several occasions recently i've noticed something that is largely being ignored. For example, yesterday, one of our players took 18 strides to get into a position to cross a ball when his average is 16 strides. Another thing but there were several hundred thousand blades of grass that were not touched, now that blatantly isn't good enough. The club go a long way out of their way to provide an immaculate playing surface and the least our players can do is use all of it. Bunch of grassists.
And another thing, several of our players could benefit from slightly straightening their socks before the game. Its a well known fact that straight socks make for a better performance. Just a two degree twist to the left can improve us by 3 points a season.
Oh and Bentaleb or Bentelab, whatever his fucking name is…….It is clear that he hasn't been picked much because of his being caught cheating at travel scrabble. It destroys team morale, can't have that sort of behaviour on the firm can we? Oh and i'll clear something else up about him as well, there are rumours circulating that he was turned down by Mastermind because he couldn't pass. Please poo-poo these rumours wherever encountered, obviously it isn't true.
Ooooooh I nearly forgot, a certain international midfielder of ours recently confessed that at the age of 12 he stole a lollipop from a friend. How we can bear to have such a character at our club I don't know. I'm livid.
Resting players. How are the club not utilising the plethora of experts based on SC regarding our players physical condition? This relying on the figures and test results held by our medical department allied with input from the coaching staff and players themselves is positively medieval. Outrageous even. It flies in the face of modern sports science………Have we got buffoons in charge? Surely it can't go on?
And while i'm at it. Playing just under 80 league games in two years? What's that all about? We're flogging the ****s to death. It'll only take one player to take us to the court of human rights and football is fucked.
Oh an finally a bugbear of mine. Missplaced passes. You're being watched. One pass going astray can lead to the loss of several points in the post match ratings thread. Especially if you happen to hokey-cokey in and out of the SC scapegoat category. We can't afford to see that shit. Get your acts together or find another club.
There's more, but time marches on and I have a 6.45am deadline to meet. Not to mention a docker with big tits called Mavis, but that's not until 9pm in a layby on the A20.
Laters!
And another thing, several of our players could benefit from slightly straightening their socks before the game. Its a well known fact that straight socks make for a better performance. Just a two degree twist to the left can improve us by 3 points a season.
Oh and Bentaleb or Bentelab, whatever his fucking name is…….It is clear that he hasn't been picked much because of his being caught cheating at travel scrabble. It destroys team morale, can't have that sort of behaviour on the firm can we? Oh and i'll clear something else up about him as well, there are rumours circulating that he was turned down by Mastermind because he couldn't pass. Please poo-poo these rumours wherever encountered, obviously it isn't true.
Ooooooh I nearly forgot, a certain international midfielder of ours recently confessed that at the age of 12 he stole a lollipop from a friend. How we can bear to have such a character at our club I don't know. I'm livid.
Resting players. How are the club not utilising the plethora of experts based on SC regarding our players physical condition? This relying on the figures and test results held by our medical department allied with input from the coaching staff and players themselves is positively medieval. Outrageous even. It flies in the face of modern sports science………Have we got buffoons in charge? Surely it can't go on?
And while i'm at it. Playing just under 80 league games in two years? What's that all about? We're flogging the ****s to death. It'll only take one player to take us to the court of human rights and football is fucked.
Oh an finally a bugbear of mine. Missplaced passes. You're being watched. One pass going astray can lead to the loss of several points in the post match ratings thread. Especially if you happen to hokey-cokey in and out of the SC scapegoat category. We can't afford to see that shit. Get your acts together or find another club.
There's more, but time marches on and I have a 6.45am deadline to meet. Not to mention a docker with big tits called Mavis, but that's not until 9pm in a layby on the A20.
Laters!
