Beginners Guide to Tottenham transfers assessment

Discussion in 'Columns' started by JimmyG2, Apr 29, 2017.

  • by JimmyG2, Apr 29, 2017 at 2:28 PM
  • JimmyG2

    JimmyG2 SC Supporter

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    Following the success of my recent analysis of the transfer rumour concerning Bruma.
    I have decided to share my methodology with my fellow fans.

    You will remember that I guessed, sorry calculated, a likelihood of 2/10 which was very close to much more scientific guesses.

    Here we go.

    All transfer rumours start at 5/10 as initially they are just as likely to happen as not.

    Have you ever heard of the player before? If no take off 0.5. If yes take of 0.5. This is more about you than the rumour.

    Have we been linked before? (Take off 1) If linked in more than two seasons. (Take off 2) Known as the Moutinho effect.

    Does it appear in more than two media sources? take (off 0.5) Remember there is only ever one source of a rumour. The rest is hearsay.

    Has he/she played successfully for Mauricio before? (Add 1) This applies even if it was for Espanyol Ladies.

    Is the transfer fee likely to be in excess of 70 million? (Take off 2) We're building a new Stadium you know.

    Are the wages in excess of 150.000? (Take off 2) Bad for team bonding and spirit and Daniel's gastric juices.

    Is the player over 30? (Take off 2) Exceptions for Modric and Bale in the future. But see above.

    Is the player currently playing in the Premiership? (Add 1) Why aren't the Manchesters, Chelsea or Liverpool in for him/her. If they are take off 2

    Is the player French? (Unfortunately add 0.5)

    Is the player Argentinian? (Add 0.5)

    Does the headline contain the words 'swoop', 'chase', 'ace' or 'agent'?. (Take off 1)

    Is the rumour about an Arsenal Chelsea or Man.Utd. player. (take off 2) Something very fishy there. Either crocked or on substances

    If a Liverpool player (take off 1) Mostly rubbish anyway. Why would any such club sell us anything good.

    So the system runs from 'you what' (less than 2) to 'where's that cardboard cut-out of Mauricio for the photographer' (9 or more).

    The system is very simple to use and requires no, or very little, mathematical expertise. Please let me know how you get on.

    Try it on Messi for example with an extra -1 for the Espanyol factor.

    There is no charge for the use of this method. It is my gift to posterity.
    And we are definitely on our way to Wembley. That's a 10. (OS confirmed)

    Good luck.
     
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Comments

Discussion in 'Columns' started by JimmyG2, Apr 29, 2017.

  1. grittyspur1
    On the bright side the days of Spurs being linked to every player & their dog are finally long gone! COYS!
  2. JimmyG2
    I dunno we've bought one or two dogs in our time
    and recently too.
    and probably will again
  3. nailsy
    Isn't the maximum score six and a half? Do we lose the other points because of waiting until deadline day before putting in a bid or something?
  4. JimmyG2
    I'm pleased, nay thrilled, nay gobsmacked that people are taking this so seriously.
    Must have got inadvertently edited out. I make the maximum excluding this missing link 8

    Should say
    Is it very late on deadline day and seemingly unlikely? (Add 2) =10

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