Pardew Signs Long Contract at Newcastle
- Thread starter Kyras
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Rocksuperstar
Isn't this fun? Isn't fun the best thing to have?
- Jun 6, 2005
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Newcastle fans are over the moon about it, as you would expect 
I really feel sorry for them though - imagine what it must be like to have that fat f*ck-knuckle in Levy's office...
yeah, makes my spine crawl just thinking about it. Geordieland has its shady characters, can't one of them just kidnap him in a sack (big sack) and leave him in a tent (big tent) at the north pole? The world would be better for it.
I really feel sorry for them though - imagine what it must be like to have that fat f*ck-knuckle in Levy's office...
yeah, makes my spine crawl just thinking about it. Geordieland has its shady characters, can't one of them just kidnap him in a sack (big sack) and leave him in a tent (big tent) at the north pole? The world would be better for it.
dvdhopeful
SC Supporter
- Nov 10, 2006
- 7,614
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Sack Chris Hughton because they wanted a more experienced, successful manager......so they got an arrogant, mass-ego'd bellend who has done exactly what?
Pathetic
Pathetic
brendanb50
Well-Known Member
- Jul 21, 2005
- 4,488
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It's quite a joke, their fans must be fuming.
Things were genuinely looking up for them until about a week ago. Shocking stuff.
Things were genuinely looking up for them until about a week ago. Shocking stuff.
Rocksuperstar
Isn't this fun? Isn't fun the best thing to have?
- Jun 6, 2005
- 53,394
- 67,064
Be fair, look where West Ham are now... oh... umm, right, yeah, but how about the glorious Charlto... yeah. But surely Readi...
ok.
JerryGarcia
Dark star crashes...
- May 18, 2006
- 8,694
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That should be "when"
Here's to you Mike Ashley, may you stay reasonably healthy (as much as possible for a big butter ball like yourself) and remain in charge of Newcastle for many years to come :beer:
dvdhopeful
SC Supporter
- Nov 10, 2006
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:lol: - The thing that really knobs me off about the guy is that if you hear him talk, he clearly thinks he is the second coming, despite, as you pointed out, a pretty shocking managerial record. Maybe the fat ape was taken in too?
I'm looking forward to seeing how the players take to him - they seemed pretty upset about Hughton leaving and now they have a second rate replacement - I almost hope their is trouble :grin:
JerryGarcia
Dark star crashes...
- May 18, 2006
- 8,694
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Well he's obviously worked for some of the giants of world football but why did he get sacked from Southampton? Was it because he's shit?
danielneeds
Kick-Ass
- May 5, 2004
- 24,182
- 48,812
Come on you lot, as big names go Pardew is one of the biggest... Who could forget his triple Scudetto winning Milan team, his Bayern Munich side which won so gloriously at the Nou Camp, his PSV unit which won the Europa cup. His pedigree is unquestionable.....oh :doh:
ShelfSide18
Well-Known Member
- Aug 23, 2006
- 8,386
- 3,122
I'm so glad Jol didn't go there.
I don't like Alan Pardew, and he hasn't exactly set the managerial world on fire... sacked from Soton in League 1 then gets a Premiership job? What other industry would that happen in?
As for Mike Ashley, he is a deeply unpleasant man, if he was on fire, I wouldn't waste my piss.
I don't like Alan Pardew, and he hasn't exactly set the managerial world on fire... sacked from Soton in League 1 then gets a Premiership job? What other industry would that happen in?
As for Mike Ashley, he is a deeply unpleasant man, if he was on fire, I wouldn't waste my piss.
RobinLeonard
Well-Known Member
- May 8, 2008
- 1,143
- 57
Why did they give him a 5 year contract? I'm amazed.
RobinLeonard
Well-Known Member
- May 8, 2008
- 1,143
- 57
We've got Pardew
and I'll cry if I want to
cry if I want to
cry if I want to
You would cry to if it happened to you
http://www.toontastic.net/board/index.php?showtopic=28926
I actually feel sorry for them.
and I'll cry if I want to
cry if I want to
cry if I want to
You would cry to if it happened to you
http://www.toontastic.net/board/index.php?showtopic=28926
I actually feel sorry for them.
Viva la Tottenham
New Member
- Nov 21, 2010
- 1,873
- 0
joke club
coulda seen them getting Jol but fuckn Pardew after firing Hughton so shoddily
they've just become relegation candidates lol lets pinch Carroll off them too
coulda seen them getting Jol but fuckn Pardew after firing Hughton so shoddily
they've just become relegation candidates lol lets pinch Carroll off them too
brendanb50
Well-Known Member
- Jul 21, 2005
- 4,488
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This made me chuckle:
Alan Pardew has been signed up to be boss of Newcastle until 2016. The real question, though, is how many managers the Toon will actually have in the next five years - and whether Mike Ashley's popular 'Buy Cockney' policy is now entering its critical phase. Here are tomorrow's Newcastle United managers, today...
January 2011: After a tricky festive period, Pardew is sacked. "We failed to win the Champions League, and Alan knows it was him what had to carry the can," says Ashley. Dennis Wise takes over the managerial reins.
May 2012: Despite being unpopular with local fans, manager Wise insists that the appointment of "me old china, Jody Morris as Assistant Manager-stroke-coach-stroke-pwopah-nawty-geezah-abaht-taahn" will "show you northern monkeys how football should be done". Newcastle slump to relegation.
June 2012: Ashley is in no doubt as to why the club went down. "We went daaaaahn," he explains. "Cos we wasn't Cockernee enough at the highest levels." Barbara Windsor arrives on a five-year deal.
September 2013: Life in the Championship is tough for Babs and assistant manager Phil Mitchell, and a falling-out with Mike Ashley is inevitable after the duo fail to deliver the Nobel Prize For Literature success that is Newcastle supporters' birthright. "Leave it Phil, eee ain't worf it," screams Babs, as a tearful Phil tries to attack Ashley, but gets stuck in his panel van, which has been boxed in at the Newcastle carpark by a giant mobile whelk stand.
June 2014: Mike Ashley attempts to appoint Dick Van Dyke as boss, but is rebuffed by the board who explain that "he is a fictional character". Ashley retorts: "So was Kevin Keegan." The club once again fail to win the US Presidential election, leading to outbreaks of crying Geordies in Washington DC.
October 2014: After a briefly successful period when the club is managed by An Old Joanna, drastic action is needed with the club once again struggling in the third tier. New manager Danny Dyer complains: "There's some well tasty fixtures comin'' up and no mistake, 'ave a banana. Wycombe Wanderers away? Nawty, nawty, boys. Tasty, tasty, meaty, beaty, big and bouncy them lads are. Gertcha!" However, Dyer resigns in tears "after a ball girl looks at him in a threatening manner" at AFC Bournemouth.
December 2016: Eric Bristow cannot revive Newcastle's fortunes, and they plummet into the old fourth division. With what many Cockney experts are describing from the driver's seats of their cab as "a last frow of the dice, me old son. Yeah, King Cross to Euston, of course the quickest way's via Clapham, wot are you, some sort of tourist. That's a monkey to you, you caahnt, have a good day mate." Ashley plays his ace: the reanimated corpse of Mike Reid is appointed Director Of Football and Market Stalls and the search begins, once again, for a manager.
Alan Pardew has been signed up to be boss of Newcastle until 2016. The real question, though, is how many managers the Toon will actually have in the next five years - and whether Mike Ashley's popular 'Buy Cockney' policy is now entering its critical phase. Here are tomorrow's Newcastle United managers, today...
January 2011: After a tricky festive period, Pardew is sacked. "We failed to win the Champions League, and Alan knows it was him what had to carry the can," says Ashley. Dennis Wise takes over the managerial reins.
May 2012: Despite being unpopular with local fans, manager Wise insists that the appointment of "me old china, Jody Morris as Assistant Manager-stroke-coach-stroke-pwopah-nawty-geezah-abaht-taahn" will "show you northern monkeys how football should be done". Newcastle slump to relegation.
June 2012: Ashley is in no doubt as to why the club went down. "We went daaaaahn," he explains. "Cos we wasn't Cockernee enough at the highest levels." Barbara Windsor arrives on a five-year deal.
September 2013: Life in the Championship is tough for Babs and assistant manager Phil Mitchell, and a falling-out with Mike Ashley is inevitable after the duo fail to deliver the Nobel Prize For Literature success that is Newcastle supporters' birthright. "Leave it Phil, eee ain't worf it," screams Babs, as a tearful Phil tries to attack Ashley, but gets stuck in his panel van, which has been boxed in at the Newcastle carpark by a giant mobile whelk stand.
June 2014: Mike Ashley attempts to appoint Dick Van Dyke as boss, but is rebuffed by the board who explain that "he is a fictional character". Ashley retorts: "So was Kevin Keegan." The club once again fail to win the US Presidential election, leading to outbreaks of crying Geordies in Washington DC.
October 2014: After a briefly successful period when the club is managed by An Old Joanna, drastic action is needed with the club once again struggling in the third tier. New manager Danny Dyer complains: "There's some well tasty fixtures comin'' up and no mistake, 'ave a banana. Wycombe Wanderers away? Nawty, nawty, boys. Tasty, tasty, meaty, beaty, big and bouncy them lads are. Gertcha!" However, Dyer resigns in tears "after a ball girl looks at him in a threatening manner" at AFC Bournemouth.
December 2016: Eric Bristow cannot revive Newcastle's fortunes, and they plummet into the old fourth division. With what many Cockney experts are describing from the driver's seats of their cab as "a last frow of the dice, me old son. Yeah, King Cross to Euston, of course the quickest way's via Clapham, wot are you, some sort of tourist. That's a monkey to you, you caahnt, have a good day mate." Ashley plays his ace: the reanimated corpse of Mike Reid is appointed Director Of Football and Market Stalls and the search begins, once again, for a manager.
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