Amusing Spurs-related Anecdotes

[SpursSince1980]

Like many on SC, I have supported the club for many, many years. Spurs is an intrinsic part of my life. Which means, I’d imagine, also like me, a fair few people here have some funny tales to tell, that in some way, shape or form, involve our beloved team. And given we’ve been having a bit of a torrid time of it this past year, I thought, why not inject a wee bit of levity. If any are game for a chuckle.

Off the top of my head, I can think of a few silly ones.

But I am going to start with one of the more recent stories:

A few years ago, I was with my wife (then, girlfriend) in Windsor for a long weekend getaway. We decided to find a pub to watch Spurs play against Juve away in the CL. I’m sure you all remember the game of which I speak. Anyways, was a bugger just finding the pub in the first place. After 20 mins of chasing our tails, we finally found Mecca.

Wasn‘t quite the paradise we were hoping for, but as is the case with me and my girl, wherever we are, we are together, and that’s all we need.

On this occasion we also needed somewhere to sit. Not that it was particularly crowded. Just sparse on tables and chairs. So, as we were doing an impression of an Ostrich in mating season, we hear a voice from a table, shouting; “Oi. Over here. Come in to watch Spurs?”. We nodded politely and he invited us to join him just below the TV. The game was just kicking off.

He was a lovely, bubbly guy called Gaz. Was likely the only Spurs fan, outside of us in the pub. We made fast friends. Had nowt in common, except our love of Tottenham. He was a talker. Told us all about the many games he goes to with his son, and how disappointed he couldn’t be watching the game with his lad that night. Which I guess explains why he took a shine to us... surrogates and such.

Okay... the game starts. And as you know, it didn’t start great. But as you also know, a certain guy by the name of Moussa Dembele then stepped up and had one of the best games for Spurs. The match itself was dramatic, full of tension and moments of joy. So much joy that Gaz felt more often than once obliged to give me a hug.

I was so attuned to the game I hadn’t noticed the pub had filled out over the last hour. More than twice as many people were there from when we first came in.

No matter. I was oblivious. Me and my new BFF Gaz was all about the game.

I can’t tell you the minute or the specific action that occurred, all I can assume is that one of our players messed something up. I suddenly roar at the TV: ‘You Pillock’!

Now, one does not notice a growing din, in the same way a lobster does not notice being boiled alive. But you know what we do notice? Is when that same noisy din, suddenly stops.

Like one of those moments in the movies, when the outtatowner walks into a bar, and the record player screeches to a halt, and all the dead eyed patrons look up at the ne’rdoweller with a scowl.

It was just like that. Even my brother-from-another-mother, Gaz was speechless. Until he smiles and said quite loudly: “It’s been twenty years since I’ve heard someone use the word, ‘pillock’”. He then laughed... as did the entire pub. And it wasn’t a mean laugh. A callous, take the piss laugh. It was one of genuine mirth and warmth... a random shared experience amongst complete strangers.

The game ended. As did our date with Gaz...

But not before the barman shouted across the room: “Hey, Pillock boy... don’t forget your card’s behind the bar”. More laughing. This time at me.

Did I mind? Not a jot.

Still makes me smile ‘til this day.?



well not sure about the rest of your “pillocks”, but I have a few more of those, including a rather strange tale about Darren Anderton and a med student at Southampton University. ?

 

[buckley]

Back in the day before seven sisters underground was built from where I lived the way to get to the ground :Liverpool Street to white hart lane station . On the way to the ground their was a man dressed for a wedding with a flower in his button hole as well but the odd thing was he was half pissed and carrying a one tier cake in a white confectionery box . He was going on about how he had less than an hour to get to the wedding with this cake . I go to the match against Man United and the game I think is one all with a few minutes to go and like many in those days I leave early from the 50.000 plus crowd so as to win the race to white hart lane station on the way we hear this massive roar and we know we have scored a last minute winner there was mayhem and low and behold I see this object flying above my head it landed and see it is a one tier wedding cake . The same drunken man from earlier had I assume sidestepped the wedding gone to the match cake in hand . I left for the station with in my ears the words of this drunken man " I should never have agreed to be best man when we are at home to united " quite surreal and totally memorable .

 

[Everlasting Seconds]

I've mentioned this before but it does still make me chuckle. I had some reason to go the the stadium on an entirely mundane, match free week day in November 1994. My mum, who at that time was relatively interested in football herself, wanted so much to come along. I couldn't really see any harm in that. We take our time approaching the entrance, and this very kind and welcoming personality stops to have a little chat with us. Of course it was Steve Perryman who had time for a little chit-chat with some random people outside. I suppose football really was different back then. And anyway, to this day, every time Tottenham changes manager, my mum will never let me forget that in her opinion we should never have let go of that gentleman we met at the stadium on that rainy day - "that Alex Ferguson who we met, he was so kind and would surely still be a much better choice".

 

[HodisGawd]

I've mentioned this before but it does still make me chuckle. I had some reason to go the the stadium on an entirely mundane, match free week day in November 1994. My mum, who at that time was relatively interested in football herself, wanted so much to come along. I couldn't really see any harm in that. We take our time approaching the entrance, and this very kind and welcoming personality stops to have a little chat with us. Of course it was Steve Perryman who had time for a little chit-chat with some random people outside. I suppose football really was different back then. And anyway, to this day, every time Tottenham changes manager, my mum will never let me forget that in her opinion we should never have let go of that gentleman we met at the stadium on that rainy day - "that Alex Ferguson who we met, he was so kind and would surely still be a much better choice".

Classic mum.

 

[Gassin's finest]

Need to get Cosmic back in here for some classic 60s shenanigans.

 

[TheChosenOne]

I was in Lidl-Wexford Town, Republic of Ireland this morning, I was at the till loading up the belt from the trolley and some sizeable guy shouted across to me "Did you watch the game last night mate ?" in fluent and broad cockney.

He must have been 6ft tall and 3ft wide -- It was early and I really didn't cop on - until he pointed to my navy blue Spurs hoodie that I threw on to go shopping - He pointed at the badge and the penny dropped - I realised once again in the space of a week I had met another stray Spurs fan, my age - we got talking and our wives carried on the shopping. Like me he was Irish and moved over to N. London back in the 1960's.
.
We yakked away for ages swapping tales, we basically lived the same Spurs supporting life - me first visiting WHL in 1966 - him in 1968
Watched the 1970's L. Cup wins, the UEFA's then the wilderness mid 70's, through the 1980's cups and Anderlecht and anywhere in between.
He has been back in Ireland for almost 20 yrs, me a mere 5 years next month.

Weird stuff.

All the while the wives sorted our their shopping and trollies - my Mrs tapped me on the shoulder and asked for the car keys, spoiled the moment but it was a chuckle while it lasted.

 

[Monkey boy]

Like many on SC, I have supported the club for many, many years. Spurs is an intrinsic part of my life. Which means, I’d imagine, also like me, a fair few people here have some funny tales to tell, that in some way, shape or form, involve our beloved team. And given we’ve been having a bit of a torrid time of it this past year, I thought, why not inject a wee bit of levity. If any are game for a chuckle.

Off the top of my head, I can think of a few silly ones.

But I am going to start with one of the more recent stories:

A few years ago, I was with my wife (then, girlfriend) in Windsor for a long weekend getaway. We decided to find a pub to watch Spurs play against Juve away in the CL. I’m sure you all remember the game of which I speak. Anyways, was a bugger just finding the pub in the first place. After 20 mins of chasing our tails, we finally found Mecca.

Wasn‘t quite the paradise we were hoping for, but as is the case with me and my girl, wherever we are, we are together, and that’s all we need.

On this occasion we also needed somewhere to sit. Not that it was particularly crowded. Just sparse on tables and chairs. So, as we were doing an impression of an Ostrich in mating season, we hear a voice from a table, shouting; “Oi. Over here. Come in to watch Spurs?”. We nodded politely and he invited us to join him just below the TV. The game was just kicking off.

He was a lovely, bubbly guy called Gaz. Was likely the only Spurs fan, outside of us in the pub. We made fast friends. Had nowt in common, except our love of Tottenham. He was a talker. Told us all about the many games he goes to with his son, and how disappointed he couldn’t be watching the game with his lad that night. Which I guess explains why he took a shine to us... surrogates and such.

Okay... the game starts. And as you know, it didn’t start great. But as you also know, a certain guy by the name of Moussa Dembele then stepped up and had one of the best games for Spurs. The match itself was dramatic, full of tension and moments of joy. So much joy that Gaz felt more often than once obliged to give me a hug.

I was so attuned to the game I hadn’t noticed the pub had filled out over the last hour. More than twice as many people were there from when we first came in.

No matter. I was oblivious. Me and my new BFF Gaz was all about the game.

I can’t tell you the minute or the specific action that occurred, all I can assume is that one of our players messed something up. I suddenly roar at the TV: ‘You Pillock’!

Now, one does not notice a growing din, in the same way a lobster does not notice being boiled alive. But you know what we do notice? Is when that same noisy din, suddenly stops.

Like one of those moments in the movies, when the outtatowner walks into a bar, and the record player screeches to a halt, and all the dead eyed patrons look up at the ne’rdoweller with a scowl.

It was just like that. Even my brother-from-another-mother, Gaz was speechless. Until he smiles and said quite loudly: “It’s been twenty years since I’ve heard someone use the word, ‘pillock’”. He then laughed... as did the entire pub. And it wasn’t a mean laugh. A callous, take the piss laugh. It was one of genuine mirth and warmth... a random shared experience amongst complete strangers.

The game ended. As did our date with Gaz...

But not before the barman shouted across the room: “Hey, Pillock boy... don’t forget your card’s behind the bar”. More laughing. This time at me.

Did I mind? Not a jot.

Still makes me smile ‘til this day.?



well not sure about the rest of your “pillocks”, but I have a few more of those, including a rather strange tale about Darren Anderton and a med student at Southampton University. ?

Very well written. Id very much like to hear your shaggy anecdote if you wouldnt mind? Was my favourite player growing up.

 

[mumfordspur]

A merry band of us were standing on the corner of the PL waiting for the game to start just chatting nonsense.
One of the group - we will call him Mr X - not really a fighter had said the day before "dress smart lads to keep out of trouble" to which most of us laughed at him.
Out of the blue there is the slightest commotion and I see Mr X with the left side of his face covered in blood.
Behind a small band of Mile End were seen diappearing into the crowd. It really did happen in an instant I had no idea they were behind us.
He had been hit by a piece of 4x2 and I have no idea how the bastard got it in the ground maybe a donkey jacket.
Poor old Mr X

 

[buckley]

The evening we beat Rangers 5.2 in the cup winners cup semi final me and my best mate managed to get into the corner pin for a lock in .
About 20 minutes in someone was banging on the door to be let in and the bar manager seeing who it was let him in .
He played the piano fantastically and we had a right old knees up and sing song I asked if anybody knew the pianists name and was told he was Chas Hodges who played for some pop group called the outlaws or at least he used to .
Memorable night if anybody else was there the two blokes playing darts all the time was myself and my mate .

 

[SpursSince1980]

The evening we beat Rangers 5.2 in the cup winners cup semi final me and my best mate managed to get into the corner pin for a lock in .
About 20 minutes in someone was banging on the door to be let in and the bar manager seeing who it was let him in .
He played the piano fantastically and we had a right old knees up and sing song I asked if anybody knew the pianists name and was told he was Chas Hodges who played for some pop group called the outlaws or at least he used to .
Memorable night if anybody else was there the two blokes playing darts all the time was myself and my mate .

Brilliant!! ?

 

[popstar7]

First trip to the US in 1994, walking through the Diamond District in Manhattan with my girlfriend. I'm wearing the purple HP shirt 93/94 shirt. The sidewalk is crowded, middle of the afternoon, and I spot someone walking towards us and something catches my eye. He's a little to our right but as he's almost about to pass us I realise he's wearing a Tottenham shirt too. Without thinking I call out 'YYYII....', then remember where I am and manage to stop myself finishing it

Spoiler: If you've never been there, looks like this

 

[SpursSince1980]

Very well written. Id very much like to hear your shaggy anecdote if you wouldnt mind? Was my favourite player growing up.

The Dazzler Story?

Goes something like this:

I attended the University of Southampton between 1993 and 1996.

During my last year at Uni, I was 'dating' someone from the same halls of residence that I had decided to move back into during my final year. Nice young girl, though I am embarrassed to admit I cannot recall her name. Which should give you some idea of how long that particular relationship lasted. I digress.

These particular halls of residence were basically apartments on each floor, with a en-suite bathrooms and a shared kitchen, per 8 rooms. An important detail to remember for later on. The residence typically contained a mixture of 1st year and 3rd year students. I was of the latter. She was of the former.

Anyways...

We'd been hanging for a few weeks, when one night she and few friends she was living with, wanted to join me and few of my buddies at a bar we planned to hit-up somewhere in the main city. I don't recall much about it, other than I guess it was borderline swank. Or whatever passed for swank in Soton back in the mid-90s. (by-and-large, it was a dump back then, but not so now).

Now, one of my mates, was really into a friend of hers. For the sake of the story, let's call her, Sarah. So, he was quite keen on her joining us. So, I persuaded my girlthingee to drag her along. Sarah took some convincing. She was a bit of a SWOT. Extremely clever, and enrolled in the medical school program. To boot, she was stunning. Like, knock-down-dead gorgeous. She had it all.

A party animal she was not. However, after much coaxing she relented. But, only if we stayed for two hours.

So, me and about five of my friends, joined my girlthingee and four of her mates at the swanky new bar.

We had been there for about an hour or so, and I could tell poor Sarah was not having a good time. I could also tell that she was probably more interested in bleaching her anus than hooking up with my mate.

My mate, however, quickly got over his rejection when he spotted a familiar face at the bar... a certain Mr. Darren Anderton.

He was still at Spurs, but I believe was injured. Hence why he was in Southampton, as that's where his family resides.

Before you know it, me and my buddies have abandoned the girls and encircled Darren. I was rather giddy. Like an over excitable school-girl crushing on the latest boy-band bro. As it's not often we get to meet one of our footballing idols.

For what it is worth, he was a nice guy. Softly spoken and genuinely flattered with the attention. Did not seem to mind us invading his space. Which I thought was very kind and generous of him. Or... so I thought.

After about 20 mins of us peppering him with questions like... 'Is Beckham's hair really that god-like in person?' Or,' is Teddy Sheringham secretly related to Clint Eastwood'? Or, 'When will you be playing again'? (All of which he politely answered), he finally leans over and whispers to me... 'Is that bird with your lot?'

He was looking at Sarah.

I confirmed that 'that bird' was with us lot. He then asked if I'd be open to introducing him to her.

Of course. What could go wrong? She has no idea who he is. Probably wouldn't care one way or the other. Moreover, as I said before, she was one of the very smart ones. Determined and driven. And no matter Darren's fame and frame, there's little chance she'd indulge him for more than half-an-hour.

So, I did the right thing, and made an intro.

They spoke, and she seemed to be doing a nice job of humoring him. But I could tell he wasn't breaking through.

But you know what they say... appearances can be deceptive.

Fast forward two weeks later.

I go over to the apartment where my girlthingee lives. As I walk down the hallway, I pass an open door to a room. Sarah's room. And there, sitting on her bed, like any 'ol student, is none other than Dazzler himself.

For a moment, I just gawk at him. Taken aback. In fact, he was the one to say 'hello again. you're the bloke from the bar, that introduced me to Sarah, right'? Took me a moment to get back control of my senses, as this moment was surreal and my cognitive comprehension of what was taking place seemed to be having a hard time breaking through.

Darren Anderton of Tottenham Hotspur and England, was in a university halls of residence, in a room, sitting on a bed, like he was one of us. It was just so damn weird.

That's when Sarah popped her face around the door. All happy like. Smiling from ear-to-ear. And all she says is: 'We're popping out for a bite'.

Like it ain't no thing than a chicken wing. Completely normal. Nothing to see here.

Right before I walked away, I made eye contact again with Darren. He looked at me with a mixture of consternation and humor - as he understood how bizarre this must all look. Also, he was a public figure. A famous enough figure to show up in the tabloids. So, he gave me a friendly wink, followed by a not-quite-so friendly 'shhh' gesture, by briefly holding his index finger to his lips. I nodded back. All understood. And even despite the cognitive dissonance, and general curiosity, all I really wanted to ask him was when he'd be playing again.

Fast forward three more months. Me and girlthingee are no longer together.

And dear, super smart Sarah is no longer a first year med student at Southampton... a girl with a promising career ahead.

Nope. She's dropped out completely to devote her time and intelligence to being a full time WAG.

No idea how it ended up. But, to this day, I find it to be both an amusing story and also a cautionary tale. ?
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ROLL CREDITS

So, guess next story will be how and why I became a Spurs fan. And in my case, it really was a life-or-death decision.

 

[Montalbano]

Excellent story mate. Thanks for sharing @jeremystorey

 

[SpursSince1980]

Come on.... there must be others!!!

 

[cider spurs]

Easter time a few years back.

Was going out, Spurs were playing on Sky.

Got up in the morning, whacked the Spurs shirt in the washing machine and hung out to dry.

Went to put the shirt on just before leaving for the pub, shirt was still damp.

The missus was drying her hair with hair dryer, so I borrowed it and started to blow the hot air over the top to just finish the last bit of drying required.

Was going well until I put the hairdryer up inside the the shirt, feckin back of the hairdryer sucked the shirt in and burnt a hole in the top.

Taxi outside waiting, so had to quickly put on a denim jacket to hide the gaping hole in the back of shirt.

Feckin glorious sunny spring day.

 

[RickyVilla]

In 2002 we played a pre season friendly against Watford at Vicarage Road. Nigel Gibbs testimonial. Having grown up 10 miles from Watford and gone to school in Herts, I had a fair few friends who were Watford supporters.
We jump on the tube to Watford and have a fair few pints in Mac's bar and head to the ground. Being a friendly no one was really bothered with segregation, so we sat in the Watford end.
Halftime had a swift couple of pints in Harry's bar under the stand and then back in there after an extremely boring match (our lord and commander Sherwood got the winner I seem to remember).
Anyway after an hour or so in Harry's bar we decide to head in to town. We come out of the bar and the Tottenham team coach is there. We decide to wait around and see who comes out.
A bloke walks out in a Spurs tracksuit and my Watford supporting mate starts chatting to him. My mate says in his drunken voice" You look exactly like John Gorman." The bloke replies "Funny that. I am John Gorman".
We were then asked to leave by security finding it difficult to walk due to the lager and laughing so much.
Got to shake Glenn Hoddle's hand as well. Great day out that was.

 

[bomberH]

I managed to ejaculate at the very same time Anderton scored for us against Wimbledon. I should make it clear I wasn’t at the stadium at the time.

It was a tv match and I was with this girl indoors. I wanted to combine my 2 favourite things and she agreed to let me make love to her from behind while I watch the football. Basically I was ‘edging’ for around 40 minutes where I could’ve finished at pretty much any point, but each time we attacked I let myself go a little (I don’t mean I put on weight during every counter) and at one point, we attacked and Dazza scored. My timing was almost perfect. I don’t think I’ve ever celebrated cumming with a cheer before or since. She laughed, I laughed, we high-fived and then we ate some food.

T’was a simpler time back then.

 

[Monkey boy]

I managed to ejaculate at the very same time Anderton scored for us against Wimbledon. I should make it clear I wasn’t at the stadium at the time.

It was a tv match and I was with this girl indoors. I wanted to combine my 2 favourite things and she agreed to let me make love to her from behind while I watch the football. Basically I was ‘edging’ for around 40 minutes where I could’ve finished at pretty much any point, but each time we attacked I let myself go a little (I don’t mean I put on weight during every counter) and at one point, we attacked and Dazza scored. My timing was almost perfect. I don’t think I’ve ever celebrated cumming with a cheer before or since. She laughed, I laughed, we high-fived and then we ate some food.

T’was a simpler time back then.

good old shaggy

 

[SpursSince1980]

I managed to ejaculate at the very same time Anderton scored for us against Wimbledon. I should make it clear I wasn’t at the stadium at the time.

It was a tv match and I was with this girl indoors. I wanted to combine my 2 favourite things and she agreed to let me make love to her from behind while I watch the football. Basically I was ‘edging’ for around 40 minutes where I could’ve finished at pretty much any point, but each time we attacked I let myself go a little (I don’t mean I put on weight during every counter) and at one point, we attacked and Dazza scored. My timing was almost perfect. I don’t think I’ve ever celebrated cumming with a cheer before or since. She laughed, I laughed, we high-fived and then we ate some food.

T’was a simpler time back then.

I dont know how it is possible, but I just laughed and threw up in my mouth at the same time!

 

[bomberH]

40-odd minutes watching Tottenham vs Wimbledon on all fours with some bloke tries to synch his splurge with a goal that may never come. One to write home about.

I should’ve mentioned that the whole point of the session was to time it to sync with a goal. This wasn’t anywhere near the weirdest thing I did with this lady. I miss her.