Arse**l Joke Amnesty

[llamafarmer]

My mate has just sent me a piss taking email about our beloved Spurs and rather than just send him abuse I want to come back with a much better joke. The guy's a real plastic gooner, so I need plenty of ammo!

So I invite you all to contribute your finest scum jokes please yiddos:

 

[Dougal]

 

[onthetwo]

nice one Dougal

 

[MattyP]

Why do people take an instant dislike to Arsenal ??
It saves time.

Why do Arsenal fans whistle on the toilet ??
So they know which end to wipe.

Why do Arsenal men like smart women ??
Opposites attract.

What do you call an Arsenal fan in a 3 bedroom semi ??
A burglar.

What do you say to an Arsenal fan with a job ??
"can I have a Big Mac!"

What do you call an Arsenal fan in a suit ??
The accused.

Did you hear about the Conservative MP who was found dead in an Arsenal strip?
The police had to dress him up in women's underwear in order to save his family from the embarassment.

Did you hear the one about the kid who asked for a cowboy outfit for Christmas ??
His Dad got him an Arsenal kit.

What do you call an Arsenal fan with half a brain ??
Gifted.

How do the braincells of an Arsenal fan die ??
Alone.

How do you make an Arsenal fan's eyes light up ??
Shine a torch in his ears.

Why should you not allow Arsenal fans a coffee break at work ??
Because it takes too long to retrain them.

What do you call the Arsenal team standing ear to ear ??
A wind tunnel.

Why did the Arsenal fan get sacked from the M & M factory ??
He kept throwing out the W's.

What do you call a fly inside an Arsenal fans head ??
A Space Invader.

 

[MattyP]

Q: Why do housewives love Arsenal?
A: Because they stay on top for ages and come second!

The seven dwarfs are down in the mines when there is a cave-in.
Snow White runs to the entrance and yells down to them.
In the distance a voice shouts out "Arsenal are good enough to win the Champions League."
Snow White says "Well at least Dopey's alive!"

 

[Kushal]

:lol:

 

[MattyP]

Arsene Wenger was to meet his new girlfriend outside the Cinema at 7pm, at 9pm she had still not arrived, so he went home furious. He phoned her up and said "what the fuck's going on? I waited for Two hours in the cold." She said, "I am not going out with you now, we are finished".
"Why?" He asked. She replied "One of my friends said you are a Paedophile."
"A Paedophile?" cried Wenger, "that's a big word for a Seven year old!!"