- Jan 26, 2005
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Space The FInal Frontier
Funny fucking game. In this new, richer, tougher, fitter, smarter, tactically more astute EPL, where cannon fodder have become as tactically astute as an Italian 1990's scudetto winner, we have Aston Villa who have decided to completely buck the trend and be utterly shit.
So it was no surprise really that we pretty much dominated a huge chunk of this game. But what was a little disconcerting was how at various stages in this game a team as shit as Villa still managed to have the ball in acres of space and threatening positions, particularly towards the latter stages, managed to rattle our woodwork three times and only had one less shot on target as we did.
There were times when Villa made this game so easy it was almost like part of an absolutely genius left plan, like plying us with some pinot noir and slipping us the footballing tactical equivalent of a rohypnol, and we became woozy and almost ended up getting our knickers pulled down and what at first seemed like it was going to be a fun night nearly ended up with us getting arse fucked, only saved by the fact that Villa couldn't get it up.
There was so much space out there at times it almost seemed to confuse our players into thinking they were in a time/space continuum conundrum and hyperdrove the ball straight back to Villa players who didn't even want it.
I know there's this theory that Dier and Dembele are the fucking Batman and Robin of the CM universe but I thought it would have been great to have seen at least one of Mason or Bentaleb paired with one of them or instead of both. We desperately needed CM's (or at least one) who could get hold of the ball, see plenty of it, not dither and fucking dawdle, pass it quickly and efficiently and a bit more incisively.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, but Bentaleb once passed the ball badly and a black hole was born and swallowed the universe, I know that, but Dembele got caught dawdling on the ball on our D for about the 1000th time in his career with us, so lets not pretend he's fucking perfect either. Neither him or Dier were terrible, I'm not saying they were, I just think it wouldn't be the worst thing pin the world if Poch freshened things up, made us less predictable, added a something to the CM blend. Just try one of Mason and Bentaleb with one of Dier or Dembele. Then maybe we'd combine some of the qualities of each and get a better blend. Clearly on the evidence of quite a few games, these two aren't infallible.
Alli had another one of those games. His quick thinking set up the first goal, I think his pass for the second was for Lamela, but either way he played a vital part in the second goal, but for much of the rest of the game he was fucking atrocious. I don't know he managed it against such a pile of shite that Villa are, but he somehow managed to give the ball away a higher percentage than everybody on our team including Lloris.
Like I said, it was a funny fucking game, We could have scored 3 or 4 in the first 30, then just when you're thinking "one of those days" we pop up with the goal, then there was a spell for about the first 25 minutes or so of the second half where I thought we had the game under total control and were doing the right things, managing it well, but as ever there is this switch that just seems to go off with us and the last 15-20 minutes we just lost that control and if they hadn't contrived to miss chances that seemed easier to score we could have fucked away our easiest chance of points we ever get.
But we didn't, so everything's groovy…or so I am told.
Individual
Lloris - Distribution was woeful at times.
Walker - Very good game (but to be fair Ayew seemed to have decided to take the day off) mostly but a couple of Walkerisms, like the time in the second half when things were starting to get hairy when he just wonders off and leaves Lamela 2-1 on the edge of the box. I just don't know what goes through the boys mind at times. He does the most bizarre things. Not like not picking up a runner, or losing his marker (all bad things) - just utterly random weird shit that defies logic.
Alderweireld - Alderweireld
Wimmer - Decent, except when he did that stupid thing that defenders do sometimes, where they have the chance to whack it clear and instead turn it back to a keeper, who is 15 yards further back and who you know isn't great at kicking for him too whack clear from further back. Why ?
Rose - Good game.
Dier - Solidly meh.
Dembele - Saw lots of ball, wish he'd learn that he doesn't have to dribble with it every time he sees it.
Lamela - Lively, not a bad game.
Eriksen - If I was Poch I'd give him the week off, send him off to Dubai to sit on a beach. He worked hard, saw plenty of the ball but is looking understandably mentally a bit jaded. Could have been rested in the week if we didn't give a shit about the game, especially if we hand't idiotically sent Pritchard out on loan or with Onomah played in his stead.
Alli - As above. Two assists, lots of assisting Villa get the ball back. (yes I know @THFCSPURS19 I need some new material).
Kane - Decent game today I thought. The obligatory shot or two from utterly stupid positions, but apart front hat he worked hard and took his goals well.
Agree with all of this, the one thing I would add is what were we doing after the second goal, we seemed to be 'seeing out the game' but great teams finish them off. We seemed to be obsessed with passing it backwards and dribbling in the middle of the park only to lose it or pass it backwards. 2-0 is not a scoreline in which we can piss about with, keep attacking, really annoyed me this. Villa were there for the taking we should have pushed for the third. We were almost punished out of complacency.
Lloris as well, what is he doing in training, he is an immense goalkeeper, so just practice kicking. And for the love of god, you have two feet use your right from time to time.