BBC reports Gary Speed has died

[Ziege]

Wow. I saw the headline the other day and though it would be a car crash or some sort of 'freak accident', but suicide? I never thought that would be the case. Really unfortunate. I watched him play for years for Bolton and he was always one of my favourites on the pitch.

I am among the 'macabre' group who want to know 'why' he did it. I guess we will never know, but it is natural to wonder, especially when he was apparently perfectly happy, healthy and successful.

 

[mike_l]

You could imagine he had been carrying a painful secret for a very long time. Something about his life/past that he couldn't accept or even begin to share with his friends and family.

It's imagineable but unlikely he would have been able to hide it so well from close friends, colleagues and family members for all these years, which he would have to have done given how shocked they all seem to be.

 

[Narnill]

It's imagineable but unlikely he would have been able to hide it so well from close friends, colleagues and family members for all these years, which he would have to have done given how shocked they all seem to be.

Definitely not impossible. I have a friend who was able to hide painful stuff from their past from absolutely everyone involved in their life until they were 22 and it all came out in a letter when they were on the verge of suicide.

They even hid their use of anti depressants too.

Over years, it is very easy to develop a front and even kid yourself that everything is OK. But it can come to a head eventually.

 

[Coyboy]

Everyone has said he had a great sense of humour and was a great guy, which I am sure is true, but sometimes I did think he seemed a bit down and sombre in interviews. This is going back years and was just my perception once or twice. I said it to my mate when he told me; and going off what people say depression can be like that- very long term, comes and goes and can be caused by nothing tangible. You can have a happy marriage, two kids, great job, great friends and just feel really down.

Maybe that's simply what it was.

 

[Spurrific]

Does anybody know if he was a drinker at all? My old teacher attempted suicide twice and succeeded once under the influence. I don't know if there'd be a correlation between inebriation and suicide but he just seemed so level-headed, though, as others have said it could have been a front.

 

[Coyboy]

From what I have read, certainly not. He liked the odd pint but he was one of the first footballers to concern himself with nutrition and diet; and I read in the Guardian that he left a certain club after a manager was too hammered to give a half time talk and asked him to; he signed a confidentiality agreement when he left.

After a bit of thinking, pretty easy to work out who the manager was. I reckon Narnill is quite familiar with the name.

 

[RickyVilla]

From what I have read, certainly not. He liked the odd pint but he was one of the first footballers to concern himself with nutrition and diet; and I read in the Guardian that he left a certain club after a manager was too hammered to give a half time talk and asked him to; he signed a confidentiality agreement when he left.

After a bit of thinking, pretty easy to work out who the manager was. I reckon Narnill is quite familiar with the name.

Sam Allardyce I reckon.

 

[McFlash]

Everyone has said he had a great sense of humour and was a great guy, which I am sure is true, but sometimes I did think he seemed a bit down and sombre in interviews. This is going back years and was just my perception once or twice. I said it to my mate when he told me; and going off what people say depression can be like that- very long term, comes and goes and can be caused by nothing tangible. You can have a happy marriage, two kids, great job, great friends and just feel really down.



Maybe that's simply what it was.

Well said and you've hit the nail on the head.
No-one knew that I was suffering from it, but as I didn't even realise myself, how could they. I hide things well and always put a smile on the outside - almost the stereo-typical "nice guy" that you read about in the papers.

It was my wife who eventually noticed the signs and that there was an underlying issue. I didn't believe it for a long while and underwent all sorts of tests to rule out almost every other possibility.
Also, maybe it's just me but I've always felt that, when it comes down to it, the only person that you can rely on is yourself. I trust other people of course, but no-one as much as I trust myself. Probably not explained this very well...so apologies to anyone if it makes no sense!
We all keep our own council to some degree.

Does anybody know if he was a drinker at all? My old teacher attempted suicide twice and succeeded once under the influence. I don't know if there'd be a correlation between inebriation and suicide but he just seemed so level-headed, though, as others have said it could have been a front.

I think that alcohol just makes it a bit easier to carry out the plan. I'm pretty sure that if I was planning on such a drastic action (which I'm not, by the way) I'd want a few beers first to ease the way.

 

[Coyboy]

Sam Allardyce I reckon.

Nope don't think so mate. Who is Narnill really? What is the first name of "The Best Referee in the World...Ever".

 

[Coyboy]

Well said and you've hit the nail on the head.
No-one knew that I was suffering from it, but as I didn't even realise myself, how could they. I hide things well and always put a smile on the outside - almost the stereo-typical "nice guy" that you read about in the papers.

It was my wife who eventually noticed the signs and that there was an underlying issue. I didn't believe it for a long while and underwent all sorts of tests to rule out almost every other possibility.
Also, maybe it's just me but I've always felt that, when it comes down to it, the only person that you can rely on is yourself. I trust other people of course, but no-one as much as I trust myself. Probably not explained this very well...so apologies to anyone if it makes no sense!
We all keep our own council to some degree.



I think that alcohol just makes it a bit easier to carry out the plan. I'm pretty sure that if I was planning on such a drastic action (which I'm not, by the way) I'd want a few beers first to ease the way.

That was what occurred to me after I typed it- wouldn't his wife have noticed something? If he were down, bed ridden, not sleeping, irritable...whatever.

 

[mattyspurs]

Howard Kendall?

 

[nailsy]

King Kenny? He always sounds pished.

 

[McFlash]

That was what occurred to me after I typed it- wouldn't his wife have noticed something? If he were down, bed ridden, not sleeping, irritable...whatever.

Depends. He had a stressful job and the symptoms aren't always severe and can easily go unnoticed.
My wife is now convinced that I was suffering a good few years before we noticed. The personality changes can be slight at first but build over time.

I have a feeling that we may not find out why he did it - which may not be a bad thing really.
Morbid curiosity is a strange thing but seems to have caught most of us. Understanding why is important imo.

 

[McFlash]

Plus, we all get tired and irritable sometimes and often have trouble sleeping etc. That's normal, especially in a stressful job.

 

[RickyVilla]

Howard Kendall?

Good call. I only said Big Sam as I have witnessed first hand how his back room staff and he got absolutely wasted until 4 in the morning before a match against Chelsea. Phil Brown could barely walk and had to be helped to his room.

 

[Gambler]

I don't think it's out in the media yet but Gary's funeral is next Friday in the village next to mine.

God bless a fantastic Welsh player

 

[Welshiespursboyo]

Did you watch the bbc 2 tribute to Gary Speed tonight? Couldn't help crying a little again.

Gonna be in the Millennium Stadium tomorrow for the Wales vs Australia game, think there is going to be a minutes silence there.

 

[Gambler]

Did you watch the bbc 2 tribute to Gary Speed tonight? Couldn't help crying a little again.

Gonna be in the Millennium Stadium tomorrow for the Wales vs Australia game, think there is going to be a minutes silence there.

Can't bleedin get it even though I live in Wales :evil:

 

[agrdavidsfan]

Lovely tributes everywhere today

 

[tommo84]

Just seen the Sky Sports tribute. The comments from Sir Bobby Robson years ago are amazing - well done to whoever found that clip in the Sky archives.