Let's All Laugh At... Let's all laugh at Chelsea thread

[spursfan77]

I'm just trying to work something out, can I get some help to see if I have this right?

1. He's going to write of his debt of £1.5bn

2. He apparently values the club at £3bn.

3. Yet there has been various reports that they aren't worth anything like that and it could vary between £800m and £2.6bn

Is he not just trying to reflect that lost debt in his value of the club by vastly inflating it over market value or at least the top end of it?

 

[Trotter]

I'm just trying to work something out, can I get some help to see if I have this right?

1. He's going to write of his debt of £1.5bn

2. He apparently values the club at £3bn.

3. Yet there has been various reports that they aren't worth anything like that and it could vary between £800m and £2.6bn

Is he not just trying to reflect that lost debt in his value of the club by vastly inflating it over market value or at least the top end of it?

1. He's not writing the debt off per se. It will be paid off as part of the sale proceeds. All he is saying is Chelsea as an entity won't be paying it back, and no it would not affect FFP.
2. Various reports say they are worth 800m, I haven't seen any credible reporting as such, but if that is what you want to believe, so be it, more wishful thinking than reality really. Forbes rate them at over 3bn (Spurs significantly less by the way) and reportedly offers for 3bn have been received by the Merchant Bank in charge of the proposed sale. Remember anything in the world, including a football club is only worth what someone else is willing to pay, so your last sentence really doesn't make much sense.

 

[Rocksuperstar]

HE IS DEFINITELY talking bollox but i have a feeling a deal has been done.

Fixed that for you. That club was there to launder his money, he's shown where his priorities lie and it ain't in North London, comrade.

 

[spursfan77]

1. He's not writing the debt off per se. It will be paid off as part of the sale proceeds. All he is saying is Chelsea as an entity won't be paying it back, and no it would not affect FFP.
2. Various reports say they are worth 800m, I haven't seen any credible reporting as such, but if that is what you want to believe, so be it, more wishful thinking than reality really. Forbes rate them at over 3bn (Spurs significantly less by the way) and reportedly offers for 3bn have been received by the Merchant Bank in charge of the proposed sale. Remember anything in the world, including a football club is only worth what someone else is willing to pay, so your last sentence really doesn't make much sense.

I am familiar with the concept of worth. His is obviously £3bn if you believe the rumours. I see what you mean about my last sentence reading it back.

You’ve answered my question in your point one actually. Thanks. The debt will be rolled into the purchase price. So all the nonsense about him writing it off that the media have been spooling out is nonsense really.

 

[goughie1966]

Truck full of Man City shirts heads for London as Chelsea sale planned (paddypower.com)

A truck full of Manchester City replica jerseys were spotted hurtling along the M6 this morning following Chelsea’s owner’s decision to sell the West London club. It’s understood the delivery is being sent to SW6 following overnight talks between Blues supporters and City officials, with both parties said to be keen on a switch of loyalty to the Manchester club.

The confirmation comes after a confused old Swiss man told a German newspaper on Tuesday night that he’d been offered the opportunity to purchase the Stamford Bridge outfit for £2 billion. After briefly considering a return to supporting Championship side QPR, Chelsea fans sent an SOS to both Man City and Newcastle United offering their services. Newcastle swiftly rebuffed the offer, citing their ability to fill St James’ Park on a weekly basis without the aid of ‘plastics’.

Toon officials were also concerned by reports they’d suddenly become everyone’s ‘second favourite team’, which is generally an indication that a turn-coating is imminent. However, high-ranking City officials jumped at the opportunity to recruit the Chelsea defectors and sent a lorry load of their third kits to London to seal the deal.

‘London plastics will continue to experience the unbridled joy oil-sponsored success and we might finally sell-out a Champions League game at the Etihad. It’s win-win, baby’, a jubilant Sheikh Mansour told Paddy Power News.

Meanwhile, former Chelsea captain John Terry was spotted among a group of supporters gathered outside Stamford Bridge as they eagerly anticipated the arrival of the lorry. ‘This has been the most difficult week in Chelsea’s whole 17-year history’, the 41-year-old told Paddy Power News. ‘But now it’s time to look to the future’, he said, while stripping off his tracksuit to reveal a full Manchester City kit. ‘Blue Moon, you saw me standing alone…’, sang the former defender, as he was hoisted into the air and carried off by raucous ex-Chelsea fans.

*Paddy Power’s breaking news coverage is 100% fake news, and that’s the truth – honest*

 

[rossdapep]

Truck full of Man City shirts heads for London as Chelsea sale planned (paddypower.com)

A truck full of Manchester City replica jerseys were spotted hurtling along the M6 this morning following Chelsea’s owner’s decision to sell the West London club. It’s understood the delivery is being sent to SW6 following overnight talks between Blues supporters and City officials, with both parties said to be keen on a switch of loyalty to the Manchester club.

The confirmation comes after a confused old Swiss man told a German newspaper on Tuesday night that he’d been offered the opportunity to purchase the Stamford Bridge outfit for £2 billion. After briefly considering a return to supporting Championship side QPR, Chelsea fans sent an SOS to both Man City and Newcastle United offering their services. Newcastle swiftly rebuffed the offer, citing their ability to fill St James’ Park on a weekly basis without the aid of ‘plastics’.

Toon officials were also concerned by reports they’d suddenly become everyone’s ‘second favourite team’, which is generally an indication that a turn-coating is imminent. However, high-ranking City officials jumped at the opportunity to recruit the Chelsea defectors and sent a lorry load of their third kits to London to seal the deal.

‘London plastics will continue to experience the unbridled joy oil-sponsored success and we might finally sell-out a Champions League game at the Etihad. It’s win-win, baby’, a jubilant Sheikh Mansour told Paddy Power News.

Meanwhile, former Chelsea captain John Terry was spotted among a group of supporters gathered outside Stamford Bridge as they eagerly anticipated the arrival of the lorry. ‘This has been the most difficult week in Chelsea’s whole 17-year history’, the 41-year-old told Paddy Power News. ‘But now it’s time to look to the future’, he said, while stripping off his tracksuit to reveal a full Manchester City kit. ‘Blue Moon, you saw me standing alone…’, sang the former defender, as he was hoisted into the air and carried off by raucous ex-Chelsea fans.

*Paddy Power’s breaking news coverage is 100% fake news, and that’s the truth – honest*

This is what we should take heart in. Chelsea fans will always be accused of being plastic.

I used to live with a Chelsea fan at uni and he got super defensive when we joked he was a plastic. He always denied it until a picture surfaced of him wearing a Liverpool shirt at about 12 years old.

 

[Delboy75]

Probably not, but the idea of sanctions are pretty new so it's not all perfectly defined.

I had a quick read of an article on the Athletic earlier and they mentioned the following as things they would struggle with:
outstanding transfer payments - both incoming and outgoing.
Payment of utility bills
Payment for policing on match days
Selling tickets
Receiving prize money
Paying staff, including players, office and matchday staff
Paying suppliers.

Be pretty difficult to
Operate without paying bills and selling tickets ?

We can but hope.

 

[SirNiNyHotspur]

Thought this was worth posting:

Speaking in the House of Commons on Thursday, Bryant said: "Some of us are anxious about why we're not going further on the sanctioning of individuals.

"It's a mystery to me why Roman Abramovich has not yet been sanctioned. The Government itself knows he's been engaged in illicit activity and he's a person of concern to the government, which is why they've not been encouraging him to come to the UK.

"I don't know why Alisher Usmanov has not yet been sanctioned. He's been sanctioned by the EU but not by us. He owns Sutton Place, I don't know why we don't seize that asset.

"I don't know why the UK has not yet seized a single yacht, or a flat, or a property of any kind, whilst over countries in Europe are able to do that.

"Finally, I wonder whether she [Conservative MP Nadine Dorries] would condemn John Terry today. I don't know whether she's seen this, but he has posted today a photo of himself with Roman Abramovich, who is one of Putin's cronies, what will the people of Ukraine think of the former England football captain?"

Dorries, the secretary of state for digital, culture, media and sport, replied: "I agree with much of what he [Bryant] says.

"He knows that I'm limited in what I'm able to do in my department, I cannot mention names, and I hope that we will see the Foreign Office come forward with the sanctions that he's looking for."

 

[Serpico]

If ever we believed football was corrupt all this sorry saga just supports possibility that maybe

If any Ukranians get any of it he probably means the separatists, also non committal on what would be deducted to be considered net, shady scum just looking after himself and trying to put a spin on it. How about just give up all your ill gotten cash to Ukrainian Relief Fund and condemn Putin, no ambiguity POS.

Its controlling his money by dong this otherwise he loses it-Its all smoke and daggers. This government are giving him space to move it and move it quick sense the sale of the club. Property will take 18 months apparently to establish ownership-18 months to sort himself out.

 

[teok]

Light hearted thread on lampard's interview technique (click through).

 

[Delboy75]

Very weird the way Lampard does that chuckle then immediately goes serious.

 

[spursfan77]

I’m starting to come to the conclusion that as annoying it is the club look potentially to be escaping punishment at least he is selling up. Whichever way you look at it, that’s a good thing.

If I have it right, in terms of chasing oligarchs down for their money, I just saw on the news about the crime bill that after the 14 March, any individual that the USA, Canada, Australia or the EU have placed sanctions on, automatically those sanctions happen here in the uk. They are then in place 50 odd days so that they can be investigated. So basically he has 10 days to sell the club. If he doesn’t do it by then, it’s got. If they chose to seize it of course.

 

[thebenjamin]

Light hearted thread on lampard's interview technique (click through).

Superb!

 

[Delboy75]

Cringing at the thought of Merson giving his political views on Abramovich on soccer Saturday gonna be a car crash.

 

[rossdapep]

Light hearted thread on lampard's interview technique (click through).

Those impressionists (Farley and the Conor Moore) do a good job of this.

 

[spursfan77]

Pricks

 

[Delboy75]

Just realised Rudiger Christensen Azpi contracts all up in summer and Thiago 38 next season. They will need a whole new defence. Decline might start earlier than I expected.

 

[N170ap]

Azpi already agreed to join Barca at the end of his contract.

 

[Tucker]

Pricks

Scum. But it shows that sportswashing works. Look at the City fans who bury there heads in the sand when confronted with what their owner gets up to. Or the Newcastle ones, who’ve yet to be even treated to any success, who brush their brutal owner’s crimes under the carpet.

 

[DiamondLites]

Pricks