Let's All Laugh At... Let's all laugh at Chelsea thread

[k1cks77]

How many of their big name signings have been a success?

From the Summer and January, I can't think of one. It's been one mistake after another....

Signing a ridiculous amount of players in the Summer, sack Tuchel, appoint Potter, spend a ridiculous amount in January, fire Potter, appoint lampard.

We are actually well run in comparison. I wouldn’t be surprised if there were a few senior players that might look for a move in the Summer.

I think a few of their players are done (or close to) at this level as well... Kante 32 and out of contract, Silva 38, Apzilicueta 33, Koulibally 31.

Take them out and their squad starts to look slightly mediocre and incredibly inexperienced.

Newcastle are looking stronger and more settled, Ten Hagg will make United stronger, Liverpool can't be as bad. I wouldn’t bet on them making Champions league next season either.

If they get another manager appointment wrong they could be in a real dilemma. That's before we get to FFP and the financial stuff.

You had me until this bit. I think we are giving them a run for their money for biggest joke in the league. Director of football who had to leave due to fraud charges. Sacked our manager twice this season. Getting hammered in matches with no fight. 60million pound striker with zero league goals all season. Highest ticket prices in the league. I could go on…

 

[14/04/91]

The whole place is a circus mate, no manager can be expected to do anything there whilst the squad is that big and the owner just doing whatever the fuck he wants.

Gary Neville said after the transfer window closed that training and squad harmony would be a huge issue with so many first team players and he was spot on.

You could have XI vs XI every training session and still have another XI of first team players just sitting watching, that’s how stupidly huge their squad is.

I mean they literally had to make the changing rooms bigger at the training ground.

Just imagine how many players are fed up of missing out on the match day squad. I bet players like Aubameyang are absolute poison around the place.

And all those new players on ridiculously long, cushy contracts. Quite a lot of them not getting played a huge amount currently so unlikely to be positive around Cobham.

No doubt they'll look to ship a load out in the summer but buying clubs will know they're desperate so they could either be taking a massive hit (Sterling springs to mind) &/or accepting offers below the player's real value. Bear in mind a lot of European clubs are pretty brassic which weakens their hand even further, not to mention their need to balance the books for FFP after their first year blow out.

 

[dontcallme]

If they did actually lose all their remaining games, it's not totally impossible. But probably does involve Leicester picking up 10 points from 5 - they're not incapable of that sort of run but it's still very unlikely.

It needs way too many clubs to pick up 6-8 points in their last 6 games.

 

[Saoirse]

It needs way too many clubs to pick up 6-8 points in their last 6 games.

Palace, Wolves and West Ham are all close already.

Bournemouth and Forest by definition beat Chelsea in this scenario. Bournemouth then only need 4 points from their other 5. Forest would still need 7 but some winnable matches - Brentford, Southampton, Palace - you couldn't even rule out a demotivated Arsenal once City have already won the league. And after that it's Leicester.

I can definitely see a world where they come 16th and aren't safe on final day, but yeah they very likely got just enough points under Tuchel to carry them over the line

 

[dontcallme]

Palace, Wolves and West Ham are all close already.

Bournemouth and Forest by definition beat Chelsea in this scenario. Bournemouth then only need 4 points from their other 5. Forest would still need 7 but some winnable matches - Brentford, Southampton, Palace - you couldn't even rule out a demotivated Arsenal once City have already won the league. And after that it's Leicester.

I can definitely see a world where they come 16th and aren't safe on final day, but yeah they very likely got just enough points under Tuchel to carry them over the line

Happy to revise this at the end of the season. I don’t believe the relegated teams will get more than Chelsea’s current 39 points.

They can lose their remaining games and still stay up.

 

[Tucker]

They aren’t going down. Hilarious though that would be.

 

[spursfan77]

I cant see the PL wanting to lose Chelsea from the division. They won't go down, but their awful run is fucking wonderful!

 

[Maxtremist]

Old adage or whatever was that if you can average a point a game that'd be enough to stay in the league.
So on 39 points Chelsea can probably consider them safe from relegation.

In the history of the premier league, when it's been a 20 team league, there's only been 4 times when that wasn't enough.

Though it's quite frankly hilarious that it's even a possibility and a genuine thought we can entertain.

 

[allatsea]

Fat Franks managerial reputation remains in tatters

 

[dontcallme]

Fat Franks managerial reputation remains in tatters

Unless he takes a step back, gets experience in coaching, being a number 2 etc, I think he’s done.

 

[worcestersauce]

Fat Franks managerial reputation remains in tatters

Was thinking the same this could finish his career for all intents and purposes.
There is nothing to recommend him to anyone who takes their managerial appointment seriously. If he hadn't had his playing career he wouldn't be anywhere near a club higher than the national league.

 

[Marty]

I cant see the PL wanting to lose Chelsea from the division. They won't go down, but their awful run is fucking wonderful!

Got nothing to do with anything. If enough other teams got 40 or more points nobody can say "but we don't want Chelsea to go down".

But as has been said 39 is almost certainly enough to stay up. I think 18th will finish on 35 or 36.

 

[muppetman]

Chelsea showing the difference between buying players and building a squad. All that money spent and yet they can't buy a goal.

 

[rossdapep]

Whenever I see Lampard on the touchline with that resting face, he looks like he has no idea what to do and is hoping for some divine intervention.

 

[dirtyh]

Whenever I see Lampard on the touchline with that resting face, he looks like he has no idea what to do and is hoping for some divine intervention.

probably just thinking about dinner

 

[Japhet]

I cannot stand Chelsea but it is puzzling to me why Boehly is not considering Zindane as he is exactly the kind of manager I would expect them to hire...

He doesn't know who Zidane is yet. He'll want him by the start of next season though, or the end of the transfer window latest.

 

[Timbo Tottenham]

Poch’s first trophy in England to be championship play off final?

 

[SpursForever71]

Unless he takes a step back, gets experience in coaching, being a number 2 etc, I think he’s done.

yeah i think he is done in the Prem. I cant see bottom of the table clubs risking it with him to keep anyone up.
Championship is just about his level probably.

 

[wearetheparklane]

H

Was thinking the same this could finish his career for all intents and purposes.
There is nothing to recommend him to anyone who takes their managerial appointment seriously. If he hadn't had his playing career he wouldn't be anywhere near a club higher than the national league.

He would not do well as a manager in the national league. Incredibly tough division to do well in, and that's before the Disney/tiktok club came along.

 

[worcestersauce]

H

He would not do well as a manager in the national league. Incredibly tough division to do well in, and that's before the Disney/tiktok club came along.

Apparently he's been in charge for 26 games this season, Roy Hodgson has been in charge for 6 games and won more games.