Let's All Laugh At... Let's All Laugh At West Ham

[Armstrong_11]

KUMB

"COYI

Big win incoming tonight".

YUP, not the way you were expecting though

"Probably my ideal line up

So a 3-0 loss it is"

He's good that one

"Liking that starting line up - tonight to be a night when it goes for us 4-0 to us."

Not so good that one though haha

"At times Antonio looks like a Sunday league player
Some of the other players wouldn't make the Sunday team so that makes him a star."

True

"Less than 20 minutes to go, 2-0 down at home and the players look like they couldn’t give a toss! Nothing, no urgency, just apathy and acceptance, another wage packet banked. Shocking!"

"Almost 3 like a kitten playing with a spider, so, so easy for Brighton. Spurs will tear us a new one on Wednesday."

"Brighton are making us look really, really bad now. Something has to change. We are dogcrap.

"

"We deserve everything out there except Zabaleta. Only one with a spine right now"

"Really poor that from Zabaleta. Goes over his head, and then defends like an amateur. Aggressive and front on instead of side on. Embarrassing."

"Lol we’re embarrassing what a bunch of absolute kuntz

Pathetic, we’ve reached a new low. I’m not even sure who is to blame, ****ing everyone

"

"so painful, Antonio the only positive. As Slav's biggest fan, I'm finding it nearly impossible to defend him now. Enough is enough........

This ****ing stadium, I feel like the soul has just been ripped from our club. I think Brady was planted here by Tottenham to ****ing obliterate our club.

We deserve better than this......"

"I have watched WHU for 40 years and Arnautovic's performance is as bad as any I've ever seen.Gutless,skill free,no motivation or desire,no interest.Shameful."

"It was all going so well, then came the kickoff."

And at that point I got bored

It's always better when they are so optimistic for the game.... Multiple 3-0 predictions.

And it gets crush... Like stepping in a snail.

Or...

When a bubble pops.

 

[nailsy]

Martinez.
Last year Zaza and Song

Who?

 

[Gb160]

It's always better when they are so optimistic for the game.... Multiple 3-0 predictions.

And it gets crush... Like stepping in a snail.

Or...

When a bubble pops.

The spammer at work was saying in the week how they'd have too much much for Brighton.
I text him earlier 'Are u ok?'
No reply as of yet.

 

[Nine while nine]

A desperate hammer writes:

Amanda Stavely (or really her clients), Alisher Usmanov (if he sells his stake to Kroenke), Mukesh Ambani, Lakshmi Mittall, Frank Lowy, Robert Kraft, Mark Zuckerberg, Jeff Bezos and Hassan Abdullah Ismaik have all been linked with interest in buying a premier league club. Can we not do anything to convince them that they should firm up a bid?

A rational hammer replies:

"For that category of buyer, not owning a stadium would be a big negative, I'd imagine.

Not having a team could be a bit of a turn off too."



Still, there are advantages to following such a poorly run club. They're not exactly showing they couldn't organise a piss-up in a brewery, but they're really not that far off...

"Despite being charged for a beer on my first order tonight, the girl behind the bar asked her colleague if beer was free and he shrugged his shoulders and said yes. I had 5 Heinekens after that and didn't pay a penny."

 

[RickyVilla]

Still, there are advantages to following such a poorly run club. They're not exactly showing they couldn't organise a piss-up in a brewery, but they're really not that far off...

"Despite being charged for a beer on my first order tonight, the girl behind the bar asked her colleague if beer was free and he shrugged his shoulders and said yes. I had 5 Heinekens after that and didn't pay a penny."

That might convince me to go incognito. Anyone fancy it? My round.

 

[scat1620]

That might convince me to go incognito. Anyone fancy it? My round.

RickyVilla? Who is RickyVilla? My name is Guy Incognito.

 

['O Zio]

Very well respected poster on kumb says Bilic can't play some players due to contractual reasons (i.e. The club have to pay more). Also Carroll has a clause that says he has us to play if he is medically fit (big if obviously)

One poster said he can no longer go as it feels like's punishing his kids.

The first part I can believe but the bit about Carrol I'm skeptical of. I was about to write "What PL club would be stupid enough to agree to a clause like that?" but then I remembered we're talking about West Ham and the Dildo Bros so who knows

 

[SugarRay]

Some terrible decisions made at that club so the Carroll thing could be true.

Their problem is they are desperate to appear as big time players so end up overpaying for fees and wages. The whole, we want to buy a £25m forward. In the end they pay £25m for someone worth half that just to hit the headline fee

 

[mano-obe]

Brilliant line on Arnuatovic on KUMB

The fastest he ran all game was when he saw his number on the subs board.

 

[Lilbaz]

If caroll has that in his contract no wonder he is injured so often. Noble probably has a "kneecap caroll in training" bonus.

 

[riggi]

That might convince me to go incognito. Anyone fancy it? My round.

Borrow my st if you want?

 

[Colonel_Klinck]

A desperate hammer writes:

Amanda Stavely (or really her clients), Alisher Usmanov (if he sells his stake to Kroenke), Mukesh Ambani, Lakshmi Mittall, Frank Lowy, Robert Kraft, Mark Zuckerberg, Jeff Bezos and Hassan Abdullah Ismaik have all been linked with interest in buying a premier league club. Can we not do anything to convince them that they should firm up a bid?

A rational hammer replies:

"For that category of buyer, not owning a stadium would be a big negative, I'd imagine.

Not having a team could be a bit of a turn off too."



Still, there are advantages to following such a poorly run club. They're not exactly showing they couldn't organise a piss-up in a brewery, but they're really not that far off...

"Despite being charged for a beer on my first order tonight, the girl behind the bar asked her colleague if beer was free and he shrugged his shoulders and said yes. I had 5 Heinekens after that and didn't pay a penny."

I just can’t see anyone paying what the dildo brothers would want. Isn’t there a clause in the stadium contract that if they sell within 5 years (I think it’s 5) they have to pay a hefty chuck of cash towards the stadium costs? Not owning that stadium isn’t going to make them an attractive investment for anyone. I’m not sure they even own their training ground?

 

[RickyVilla]

Borrow my st if you want?

Nah. You're alright mate.

 

[Spurger King]

I just can’t see anyone paying what the dildo brothers would want. Isn’t there a clause in the stadium contract that if they sell within 5 years (I think it’s 5) they have to pay a hefty chuck of cash towards the stadium costs? Not owning that stadium isn’t going to make them an attractive investment for anyone. I’m not sure they even own their training ground?

The fact that they don’t own their stadium, and are tied to a 99 year deal, basically means nobody will touch that steaming cesspit of a club for a century.

They’re fucked, and it’s typically hilarious.

 

[Lilbaz]

Borrow my st if you want?

You're so saucy

 

[Woland]

https://www.standard.co.uk/sport/fo...d-the-pitch-to-help-players-see-a3664061.html

 

[Lilbaz]

Did the mayors inquiry (abot the os deal) come to anything? Or was it more bullshit to grab headlines?

 

[nipponyid]

Wetherspoons UK twitted..

'We are the West Ham of the pub world, we take a building of local importance steeped in glorious history and fill it with useless wankers'.

https://twitter.com/Wetherspoon_UK/status/921506789174185984

 

[Spurger King]

Wetherspoons UK twitted..

'We are the West Ham of the pub world, we take a building of local importance steeped in glorious history and fill it with useless wankers'.

https://twitter.com/Wetherspoon_UK/status/921506789174185984

I need to stop reading Twitter messages. It’s depressing to see how monumentally dumb so many people are. ‘Somes them up perfectly’ - really? Somes?

The original quote seems highly dubious too.

 

[Cornpattbuck]

Wetherspoons UK twitted..

'We are the West Ham of the pub world, we take a building of local importance steeped in glorious history and fill it with useless wankers'.

https://twitter.com/Wetherspoon_UK/status/921506789174185984

Parody account but still funny.