- Feb 1, 2005
So here we are again, on the last day of the transfer window and without having made the signings many of us agree is needed. Hell, I doubt anyone at the kloop (As Roberto Martinez would call it) would deny its needed but things are a changing down at the lane and changing for the better in the long run.
This has probably, hell definately been the worst transfer window on record for ITK and signings and its hit SC hard and a lot of you have probably had to actually do work whilst sat at your desks.
Donations have been well down although a lot of people have signed up to our monthly recurring payments scheme, its easy peasy to set up and even plankton could do it so there's no reason you can't so why not click on the donate button and sling the price of a large latte and a doughnut a month our way? Motorway service station prices of course
Mrs A&C decided to take me to a strip club for my birthday this weekend.
When we got to the club the doorman says, "Hey, A&C! How ya doing?"
This puzzled Mrs A&C and she asked if he's been to this club before.
"Oh, no," I said. "He's on my darts team."
Then, when we took our seats seated, a waitress asked me if i'd like my usual and brings over a Budweiser.
Mrs A&C was getting increasingly uncomfortable and says,"How did she know that you drink Budweiser?"
"She's in the Ladies Darts team treacle. We share darts night with them."
A stripper then comes over to our table, throws her arms around me, and says "Hi A&C. Want your usual table dance, big boy?"
Mrs A&C was now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club.
I ran out after her and saw her getting into a taxi. Before she can slam the door, I jumped in beside her and tried desperately to explain how the stripper must have mistaken me for someone else, but Mrs A&C is having none of it, she's screaming at me at the top of her lungs, calling me every name in the book.
The cabby turns his head and says, "Looks like you picked up a real bitch tonight, A&C."
So, you donated or set up a monthly donation yet?
In other news, John Terry is leaving Chelsea. Players in the MLS and in China are frantically buying chastity belts for their wives.
Oh and sad news about Terry Wogan isn't it? Not many of you will remember he had a minor chart hit with a song called the Floral Dance. Youtube it you lazy ****s. Anyway, here's a short SC tribute taken from the lyrics…..
I thought I could hear some on SC moan
Of the signings, net spend give a great big groan
Lamela, Bale, the price was dumb
Bassong, Fazio and Erikson
Far away, as in a trance
I heard the sound of the Transfer Dance
Still not donated? Jeez this is hard work, get cracking!
I got home from the pub the other night and said to Mrs A&C that i'd heard the milkman had slept with every wife on our street except one. She said "God I bet its that stuck up bitch at no 16"
Anyway, we've reached the end of another transfer window and we'd like to thank everyone who has donated and I'll personally be thanking the mums of those of you who haven't. Thank you for your participation, it's been good having you........I'm sorry it hasn't been as much fun as usual, although it certainly has been less stressful for a certain good looking and extremely well endowed individual........
Have a great day!