BringBack_leGin
Well-Known Member
- Jul 28, 2004
- 27,719
- 54,929
A few seasons ago I'd obessively make sure I was home to stream every away game not televised, and not miss any home game in any competition.
I haven't streamed one match this season, and probably only a few last season (though, to be fair, almost all our away games seemed to be on TV anyway), while I've missed West Ham Home in the league cup, one home game in the Europa League and two televised away games in the Europa league. I also did not stay until the final whistle (left after the fourth goal conceded on both occasions) at home v either Liverpool or Manchester City, things which I would have absolutely castigated fans for before (and am happy to be castigated for now). That said, I'll still have a go at anybody who leaves a match which could go either way until the final whistle goes, though I somehow feel less entitled to do so now given all I have just written.
When we pulled one back v City the other day, all around me celebrated as if that goal meant anything. I stood up and politely clapped before sitting back down within about 15 seconds. I took my girlfriend to one of our home games this season and spent half the match chatting with her (Palace home) rather than watching what was in front of me. The idea of taking a partner to a competitive game used to absolutely horrify me (though her Grandfather was a Spurs fan and she is actually a season ticket holder at Reading so she wasn't coming just as a fashion accessory like the majority of girlfriends who occasionally show up with their blokes). When we sold Bale, the greatest player I've seen at Spurs, who had just had the greatest season I'd seen from a player at Spurs, I calmly accepted it. When Berbatov, Keane, Carrick, Campbell, Ginola, Sheringham first time round, Klinsmann and the arsehole that was Stephane Dalmat left after just a few games (what can I say, the guy seemed a genius, albeit well known as a tosser) I was incredulous in different ways regardless of the nature of their departure. Hell, even losing Paul Robinson, who was clearly not up to it with us anymore (though I loved him every bit as the aforementioned and still do) hurt.
So, on the basis of all of the above, yes, I imagine I do care less. Hell, I'm even happy to be told I'm less of a fan. My only interest in our game away to Hull the other day, while out in town with my girlfriend, was to occasionally check the Sky Sports app on my phone to see the score. I think I did so at most 5 times in two hours. Do I blame the club, the players, the managers, the nature of football both on and off the pitch, or even my fellow fan? I don't know, none of that is quantifiable enough for me to attach culpability. Maybe I've out grown football obsession, which I find sad. A few years ago, on top of catching every minute of Spurs home and away, I did the same with Barca (at one point I could honestly say I'd seen every single minute and goal of Messi's first team club career). I'd watch a fair few Italian games, a fair few German, and most of the Spanish, even if recorded on Sky Plus, not to mention most big Premiership games. Now, outside of Spurs, which I've admitted I watch less of, I also watch barely any outside of Spurs. Has out growing football fanatacism (or, falling out of love with football, I believe that's the popular phrase these days) led to me being less affected and involved with Spurs, or is it the other way around? It's a little bit Chicken (or should I say, Cockerel) and egg I guess. I can't really figure out why this has happened, or even pin pointed when this happened. What it gradual, or was it sudden? I don't know. And yes, I do still post a fair bit (though, not as much as I used to) on here, but that's as much to do with my love of discussion and debate as it is about my interest in Spurs and football, and of course I'd rather discuss and debate a topic that I am knowledgable about with people familiar to me than take this interest to another field.
Maybe I just have more in my life now, and Spurs has become less important. Maybe it's nothing to do with the club, the fans, the game, the money, or anything else, maybe it's me growing up as a whole and taking my career, my love life and my family life more seriously than I once did, not to mention myself. I don't think this is the case though, because otherwise pretty much every man with a family to support would stop taking football seriously, and a lot of you on this forum do have healthy, balanced lives and are as mad about Spurs as always.
I'm not overly sure where I'm going with this, there doesn't appear to be a conclusion to be drawn as to why I don't feel what I used to feel, only that I don't feel as I used to feel, and that makes me very sad. I hope I recapture that feeling, as the emotions achievable through supporting Spurs cover an amazing range which I'm sure aren't matched by many things in life other than beginning a family, but as it stands I'm just not the supporter I was, and I can't guarantee that I will be again.
I haven't streamed one match this season, and probably only a few last season (though, to be fair, almost all our away games seemed to be on TV anyway), while I've missed West Ham Home in the league cup, one home game in the Europa League and two televised away games in the Europa league. I also did not stay until the final whistle (left after the fourth goal conceded on both occasions) at home v either Liverpool or Manchester City, things which I would have absolutely castigated fans for before (and am happy to be castigated for now). That said, I'll still have a go at anybody who leaves a match which could go either way until the final whistle goes, though I somehow feel less entitled to do so now given all I have just written.
When we pulled one back v City the other day, all around me celebrated as if that goal meant anything. I stood up and politely clapped before sitting back down within about 15 seconds. I took my girlfriend to one of our home games this season and spent half the match chatting with her (Palace home) rather than watching what was in front of me. The idea of taking a partner to a competitive game used to absolutely horrify me (though her Grandfather was a Spurs fan and she is actually a season ticket holder at Reading so she wasn't coming just as a fashion accessory like the majority of girlfriends who occasionally show up with their blokes). When we sold Bale, the greatest player I've seen at Spurs, who had just had the greatest season I'd seen from a player at Spurs, I calmly accepted it. When Berbatov, Keane, Carrick, Campbell, Ginola, Sheringham first time round, Klinsmann and the arsehole that was Stephane Dalmat left after just a few games (what can I say, the guy seemed a genius, albeit well known as a tosser) I was incredulous in different ways regardless of the nature of their departure. Hell, even losing Paul Robinson, who was clearly not up to it with us anymore (though I loved him every bit as the aforementioned and still do) hurt.
So, on the basis of all of the above, yes, I imagine I do care less. Hell, I'm even happy to be told I'm less of a fan. My only interest in our game away to Hull the other day, while out in town with my girlfriend, was to occasionally check the Sky Sports app on my phone to see the score. I think I did so at most 5 times in two hours. Do I blame the club, the players, the managers, the nature of football both on and off the pitch, or even my fellow fan? I don't know, none of that is quantifiable enough for me to attach culpability. Maybe I've out grown football obsession, which I find sad. A few years ago, on top of catching every minute of Spurs home and away, I did the same with Barca (at one point I could honestly say I'd seen every single minute and goal of Messi's first team club career). I'd watch a fair few Italian games, a fair few German, and most of the Spanish, even if recorded on Sky Plus, not to mention most big Premiership games. Now, outside of Spurs, which I've admitted I watch less of, I also watch barely any outside of Spurs. Has out growing football fanatacism (or, falling out of love with football, I believe that's the popular phrase these days) led to me being less affected and involved with Spurs, or is it the other way around? It's a little bit Chicken (or should I say, Cockerel) and egg I guess. I can't really figure out why this has happened, or even pin pointed when this happened. What it gradual, or was it sudden? I don't know. And yes, I do still post a fair bit (though, not as much as I used to) on here, but that's as much to do with my love of discussion and debate as it is about my interest in Spurs and football, and of course I'd rather discuss and debate a topic that I am knowledgable about with people familiar to me than take this interest to another field.
Maybe I just have more in my life now, and Spurs has become less important. Maybe it's nothing to do with the club, the fans, the game, the money, or anything else, maybe it's me growing up as a whole and taking my career, my love life and my family life more seriously than I once did, not to mention myself. I don't think this is the case though, because otherwise pretty much every man with a family to support would stop taking football seriously, and a lot of you on this forum do have healthy, balanced lives and are as mad about Spurs as always.
I'm not overly sure where I'm going with this, there doesn't appear to be a conclusion to be drawn as to why I don't feel what I used to feel, only that I don't feel as I used to feel, and that makes me very sad. I hope I recapture that feeling, as the emotions achievable through supporting Spurs cover an amazing range which I'm sure aren't matched by many things in life other than beginning a family, but as it stands I'm just not the supporter I was, and I can't guarantee that I will be again.
