Let's all laugh at West Ham/2

[soup]

I wonder how much of this they'll mention;

I have a good friend who turns into a right dick twice a year due to being a West Ham fan. I'm going to love discussing this with him.

It'll go something like this.....

Mike: Grunt, mumble, grunt, ug ug, grunt, mumble.

Me: Here we go again.

Mike: Grunt, wah wah, Tottenham, wah.

Me: What like you never let Moore join Spurs and he left your club hating the place.

Mike: Grunt, wah wah, Modric?

Me: Yep, a bit of a want-out renegade, like Moore was to you.

Mike: Wah, wah, wah, wah.

 

[riggi]

Why be disrespectful to a footballing legend to wind up West Ham fans? I think we have a little more class than that tbh.

Momday night, hostile atmosphere, drink, anti semetic chants....wouldnt suprise me if our lot piss on his memory. Im going and have no intention of disrespecting a former player but you can bet your bollocks to a barn dance the atmosphere will take over for alot of our end.

Id rather just give them a slap tbh. Wankers.

 

[$hoguN]

This isnt directed at you but this whole the atmosphere will take over excuse really windS me up. If you are going to act like a total **** don't try to make excuses.

 

[riggi]

This isnt directed at you but this whole the atmosphere will take over excuse really windS me up. If you are going to act like a total **** don't try to make excuses.

Ye i kinda agree but im guilty myself of getting carried away, i just wont stoop as low as to take the piss out of a dead former player. I will probably act like abit of a **** though.

 

[spurs]

Do you think they are still in the relegation race?
I think over the last 15 games - they are bottom or 2nd bottom of the form league.

These are their fixtures:

away - stoke chelsea liverpool saints city everton - possibly zero points?!
Man U WBA Wigan Newcastle Reading - 2 or 3 winnable games.

But those relegation battles can be tough games. Could be interesting...

 

[absolute bobbins]

Spammers might actually want to go down, they could then reasonably justify hiring this chap....

It isn't such a big step up from League one to the Championship

 

[hodsgod]

What always makes me laugh is Bobby Moore wanted to leave Wet Spam and sign for Spurs in 1966, Ramsey persuaded him to re-sign for spammers or due to the rules at hat time he may not have been able to play for England.

 

[3Dnata]

I like to think that Bobby Moore was looking down from heaven with a smile on his face that the team he wanted to play for the majority of his West Ham career won and that the Angel Paul Stalteri handed him a mobile so that he could call Ron Greenwood in hell and say " That's what I'm talking about cocksucker" whilst the Devil rammed a red hot poker up Greenwood's arse.

 

[nightgoat]

David Gold comes out with a nice bit of misogyny on International Women's Day;

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/fo...s-FA-director-makes-management-statement.html

Despite having a female chief executive in Karren Brady, West Ham joint-chairman David Gold has questioned whether women would be able to motivate players in a managerial role.

'How is she going to deliver that motivation before kick off?' Gold told Sky Sports. 'How is she going to deliver? How is she going to raise the testosterone levels in the players? I just find it very, very difficult that she is going to be swearing because it is part of the culture.'

Pillock.

 

[Misfit]

Yep Dave. Too true. Before all that stuff, she has to try and find the lightswitch first and then dress herself. We'll not mention the attempts at parking the car when the silly bint finally arrives at the ground, having spent 5 hrs trying to read the map.

Milk and two sugars love. *casually sexually assaults her by cupping her buttock"

 

[JerryGarcia]

For some reason on newsnow, KUMB just republished the match report from the 3-2 game in Feb. There's a lovely piece of bitternes at the end that I thought I'd share...

Parker was replaced late on as the minority of boos were drowned out by applause from the more fair-minded of us. As the 90th minute loomed Bale laid the ball off and threw himself up in the air to avoid a challenge that never came. Seeing that his dive hadn’t worked he got back up received the ball and stuck it in the top corner for a fine but sickening winner that his side scarcely deserved. The Spurs fans woke up for the first time in the second half bless their tarmac-laying caravan dwelling little hearts. Bale’s celebration merited a caution but hey, guess what.

That was it. This was a cracking match marred only by a referee whose inconsistent and lop-sided application of the laws had more of an effect than Spurs would like to admit. Sales of lucky white heather must have been particularly good on the Seven Sisters Road last week. And at least we can console ourselves in the knowledge that when Bale goes off to somewhere better (ie anywhere) that’s Spurs gone as a top 4 side.

And if you want to relive that cracker of a game from their warped point of view...

http://www.kumb.com/report.php?id=101233

 

[THX2208]

I hate these sort of threads, it just means Egg on our Face at some stage. Remember "Mind the Gap" ?

"Mind the Gap" Will be rubbed in our faces like dog feces, for a very long long time. We only have ourselves to blame for that one!

 

[coopsy13]

Ha the rise tinted glasses of the hammers. Don't remember bale diving, remember him getting fouled and the referee not doing anything... Also scarcely deserved? We were all over them, didnt jussi get man of the match that game?
Wonder what the match report would say about the 4-3 stalteri game lol

 

[JerryGarcia]

Ha the rise tinted glasses of the hammers. Don't remember bale diving, remember him getting fouled and the referee not doing anything... Also scarcely deserved? We were all over them, didnt jussi get man of the match that game?
Wonder what the match report would say about the 4-3 stalteri game lol

Found it, you know it's going to be funny from the first 4 words

http://kumb.com/report.php?id=345

Premiership
Sunday, 4th March 2007
West Ham United 3
Tottenham 4
by East Stand Martin

I’d undergo a vasectomy or root canal work without anaesthetic rather than lose to those lillysh*te ****s. Today’s last second disaster was another one of those just waiting to happen given the season we’ve had. At no point in that game did it feel like we were going to win and I said to the bloke in front just after Z-man’s goal that it felt like a repeat of that game against Fulham when we lost out at the death.

Never in my wildest imagination though did I think that the f*ckers would steal a win, though.

Talk Sh*te

I had to turn the radio off on the way back as the dashboard was in real danger of being smashed up following the stream of smug bagel-noshing tossers that came on to crow about their victory. Still, I suppose we had our time last year when we handed their biggest enemies the Champions League spot.

Remember that? I still laugh out loud when I think about it. Don't think I was quite as pleased as Arsene Wenger though.

Even though we are surely doomed, at least they didn’t send us down and I like to think that our win last season was sweeter than what they got today. Our goose was really cooked by those deplorable displays against Watford and Charlton. Reading away didn’t help either.

That first half was surely the best we’ve seen from the team for a very long time. By contrast the Sp*ds were awful – largely because they were failing to link up with Lennon who is probably the best player they’ve had for years. I look forward to him leaving for a big club very soon.

The team looked pretty super-charged in that first 45, although the commitment and the tempo led you to fear for players lasting the full 90, either because of repeated fouls or lack of steam. We were in their faces, not allowing them any space.

Bowyer and Quashie had a point to prove and they were putting themselves about to great effect. Every time the Sp*ds looked for Lennon, Neill was there to halt him in his tracks. The start for Noble gave the crowd a real lift and his opening goal was actually met with a stunned silence around me. We’ve actually almost forgotten what it was like to score a goal and there was a real air of incredulity.

Passion at the core

Tevez was magnificent, running around like his very life depended upon it, although I will still say that he does disappoint me with his failure to bamboozle and beat players in and around the box. He does not have the trickery of Di Canio, but one thing he does have in common with the Italian maestro is passion.

He proved that with the most outrageous goal celebration we’ve seen since the crazy Italian went radio rental when he got that winner at Old Trafford in the FA Cup. I have to admit I totally lost it when that free kick went in – it was just a massive release after so many games of goal drought for the South American.

If you saw someone running around in the East Stand Upper (Bobby Moore end) in an Argentinean shirt after that goal went in. I confess it was me. I put that on today because I had dreamt that he was going to do it against the N17 nonces. That is the happiest I’ve been this year.

However, when this season is over, it will be recognised (if it hasn’t already) that the decision to take both the Argies on was a dodgy deal which should never have been contemplated. It smelt badly when it happened and it did have an effect on both the manager and the team. This is not a popular view, I know, given the near cult-status of Tevez, but it does look like we are going to pay a big price for the sordid dealings of Mr T Brown and Mr K Joorabchian.

Do not concede before the break

The priority was to avoid a repetition of the Newcastle game where a goal (admittedly offside as f*ck) went in on the stroke of half time. We managed it and as we watched the truly bizarre half time entertainment courtesy of a number of Chinese blow up sex toys, the optimists were saying that we had more than an even chance.

Not me. I was unconvinced due to the serial fragility of our team this year. It was clear that the first 15 minutes was going to be massive and you felt that the Sp*ds could simply not play as bad as they did in the first half.

It went tits up too early after the combative Bowyer arrived too late and conceded the spot kick. It just had to happen and the penalty taker just had to be Defoe. You did wonder if Green might save it, as he had made a couple of great saves in the first half. It was not to be.

On the edge of a nervous breakdown

From then on we were living on the edge. You could see the confidence drain away and we appeared to lose the momentum we had in the first half. Passing began to go astray and you wondered what Matty was doing – he seemed fearful of moving anywhere near the wing. Noble, the local boy done good, also looked bereft of energy, no doubt because of lack of match fitness. Davenport, too, lacked mobility due to a knock.

The equaliser came after a simple pass was not executed by Konch – a well-worked move, but one which was pretty much gifted by us to the filthy Finn.

The writing looked like it was on the wall, but Curbishley did what a bloke near me was begging him to do – go for sh*t or bust on the basis that a draw was very little use. Kepa and Z-man were introduced and it was another excellent set piece play by Tevez which delivered the chance for a great headed goal which sent us all into delirium once again.

Prayer mats out

5 minutes left and prayers were offered that we could hang it out but you could see the vultures perching on top of the Rio Stand. Then it came. The free kick in almost an identical position to where Tevez had scored and an equally brilliantly executed shot over the wall which Konch could only deflect into the roof of the net as he tried to get back onto the post.

4 minutes added time and anything could happen. We were still fighting and Tevez went agonisingly close from inside the box. God only knows what frenzy of celebration from him and the fans would have ensued had that one gone in.

But then the bitterest of bitter blows as over commitment up front allowed a counterattack after Z-man gave the ball away. They scented blood and although Green did well to keep Defoe out, it just had to f*cking spill out to Stalteri.

We had to go for the win and you can’t blame anybody for loading the attack. I did hear someone criticise the tactics, but it was sh*t or bust after all, one point was not really worth it.

Right spirit, too late

At least we went down fighting, showing real commitment to the cause. We would not be in the position we are today if we’d played half the games this season like that. What is disappointing is that the change in manager couldn’t have delivered that spirit from the beginning. His time out of football meant he couldn’t hit the ground running. I think he was taken aback by what was required, leaving him almost in shock.

Sacking him now is a waste of time. I wanted Pardew to stay, but the reality is that we now must take relegation on the chin and try and rebuild. It will be very hard to get back first time – you just have to look at the top of the Championship today to see what a fight that is going to be. Given the time to reflect and work out who he wants for the battle ahead, Curbs is as good as any to navigate a way back. We will have to do that without a number of players, including Tevez. At least we all had the sheer adrenalin hit of that goal celebration in this forgettable season.

 

[coopsy13]

Gracious in defeat as ever

 

[sim0n]

they must be the only London based team fans more delusional than us in regards to living off past glories

At least we have the odd cup and CL qualfication over the last 20 + years with no relegation,... they're probably just s bit more delusonal than the barcodes,... both could go down this season...

we're still a big club, but in facing reality we have not really challenged for the league title since the 80s and we hold onto memories of Sir Bill Nick and Hoddle with an almost death-grip like hold

If Spurs can land a TOP top striker, then we can actually challenge or the title -- all but the gooners in "rebuilding" mode in the top 5 teams - citeh, manUre, and chel$ki all a bit of unknown this season for the first time in yonks. Great opportunity to take advantage - to dare is to do, right?

COYS!!!

 

[talkshowhost86]

'Green did well to keep it out'

Did he fuck

 

[L.A. Yiddo]

Hahahahahahahahahaha how shit does that look....!