The Daily ITK Discussion Thread 8th June 2016

Discussion in 'The January 2016 Transfer Rumours Archive' started by Archibald&Crooks, Jun 8, 2016.

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  1. Archibald&Crooks

    Archibald&Crooks Aegina Expat Admin

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    Morning all.......What follows might be true. It might not be :D

    For a change, I find myself at a loose end this morning so I have decided to renew the thread and tell you a little bit more about what's (allegedly) been going on behind the scenes, particular in regard to Our Dear Leader, who, after the recent Spurs Community exclusive about him having his fart gland removed and upgraded wasn't best pleased that it had got out.

    Daniel is now going to great lengths to keep another 'procedure' secret but as usual, i'm too well informed, my sources are too impeccable and I can bring you the facts, the stories that shortstuff don't want us to know about pretty much as and when they happen.

    I can now exclusively reveal that Daniel Levy has had his minge 'vajazzled'.........

    Its long been a well known fact that Levy has a long list of afflictions, ailments and strange things wrong with him, including but not restricted to....

    Being a dwarf
    Having a 12 inch chopper
    Having a minge
    Being club footed
    Being bald
    Having a nervous tic

    Anyway, like I said, we can now reveal that he was vejazzled last week by his personal guru, Swami Mahat Mahcoat in a ceremony lasting several hours which included the chanting of the 'Daniel Levy......He does what he wants' incantation by several monks.

    The design was of a pound sign in rhinestone with a ruby outline and dollar signs to each side done tastefully in diamond and sapphire. A scrape was also performed and a quick nip and tuck to tidy things up down there was also undertaken at the same time.

    Levy is said to be thrilled with the results although he had to be spoken to by his Guru after he ran through the offices shouting 'look at my snatch' to all and sundry. Staff were instantly sworn to secrecy and made to sign a fresh copy of the clubs own "official secrets act"........The only fly in the ointment so far is a certain person close to Levy having the massive hump because his growler is now tighter than hers.

    There are no more promotions to be had so we are keen to see how he keeps her happy. We'll be scouring the club accounts for evidence of a rogue 'mingetightenoctomy' just in case.

    Finally, pubes. I know that a lot of you will be wondering about them (that or when will the men in white coats be pulling up outside my door) so here's the scoop. Danny Boy left 15 pubes on his lady garden, all in a row across the top, five bleached white, five coloured blue and the final five bleached white again, to reflect the clubs colour.

    This matches the gardening on his nutsack.

    Thirty hairs on his genitalia. Which is thirty more than he's got on his head. And I bet you're all surprised to learn that Levy has a minge, huh?

    You all know how this ends

    Well done Daniel Levy
     
    Last edited: Jun 8, 2016
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  2. raggy

    raggy Well-Known Member

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  3. kd2000

    kd2000 Active Member

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    Bravo a&c take a bow son. Equally educational and entertaining as per usual
     
  4. 0-Tibsy-0

    0-Tibsy-0 Well-Known Member

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  5. SpartanSpur

    SpartanSpur Well-Known Member

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    Ousmane Dembele and Rode have now gone to Dortmund over us, in part because they are flush from selling Gundogan and potentially PEA to Man City :cry:

    (I do appreciate Dortmund is a big draw regardless)
     
  6. Jamturk

    Jamturk Well-Known Member

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    Don't underestimate political and cultural considerations either.
     
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  7. dagraham

    dagraham Well-Known Member

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    Sounds like one or the other. Meaning if we can't get Marseille to lower their asking price, we'll go for Janssen.
     
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  8. GobbyJJ

    GobbyJJ Active Member

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    Thanks for all congratulations and best wishes. Mother and baby are doing well. Now let's stop pissing about Daniel & make some stellar signings
     
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  9. Jamturk

    Jamturk Well-Known Member

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    I think I would prefer Janssen, I believe he is hungry and on a upward trajectory.
     
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  10. Nigel Spinal

    Nigel Spinal Well-Known Member

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    Me too. Fits our profile and need much more than any other forward we've been linked to.
     
  11. Jamturk

    Jamturk Well-Known Member

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    Also leaves a bit more in the kitty to strengthen more in another area.
     
  12. Nigel Spinal

    Nigel Spinal Well-Known Member

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    Yeah - he'd actually cost exactly what we received for Townsend. Leaving us back at zero with a player gain.
     
  13. jair1970

    jair1970 Well-Known Member

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    Er... Rode actually says in that article that he had an offer from us:

    Asked if there was an offer from Spurs, Rode told Germany daily Bild: "Yes, that's true. And I listened to it, but again: the transfer to BVB was a matter of the heart."


    I know ITK is thin on the ground, but i'm gonna presume Rode himself to be pretty ITK on this
     
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  14. harry's chin

    harry's chin Active Member

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    Janssen sounds like an ideal fit

    The chin is happy with this

    :pompous:
     
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  15. Ace

    Ace Active Member

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    Would rather have the batman. Don't really know why, but I'm feeling quite disapointed with Janssen.
     
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  16. Parkie

    Parkie Well-Known Member

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    SSN (Sky Sources) now saying we have been given permission to speak to Janssen.
     
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  17. longtimespur

    longtimespur Well-Known Member

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    Whoopee do dah some actual ITK(y)
    Hope it's the first of many and it comes to fruition.
     
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  18. Nigel Spinal

    Nigel Spinal Well-Known Member

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    It's AZ's DoF who has confirmed it
     
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  19. ryantegan

    ryantegan Block 33 Season Ticket holder :)

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    3 Strikers for next season!!

    Kane, Janssen and Batman would be ideal
     
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  20. Hoopspur

    Hoopspur Sometimes I wonder why I bother

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    I like what I see on the YT. Funnily enough although peeps are comparing him to HK, I see more of a poacher in him than that. Maybe not some of the rockets of Defoe but a natural goalscorer all the same. Not a direct replacement for Kane but someone who could work with him as well at times. It's good we've been given permission to talk with him given he was in London yesterday :whistle:
     
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