- Feb 1, 2005
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- #1
I'm bored. Fucking bored. After a period of being intensely busy, I find myself at a loose end. I can't be arsed to go through the PM's in my inbox and I can't be arsed to write a story about Levy being a sexually depraved, cocaine snorting dwarf with an itchy trigger finger. Sort of a cross between scarface and humpty dumpty. Maybe another time. The World is Yours Danny.
As veteran threadwatchers will know, Mrs A&C likes to bake occasionally and yesterday she made a batch of cupcakes. When they'd cooled down, she let me try one….. 'I want you to be honest' she said, 'I'm open to criticism.' I said, 'they're quite nice, you fat bitch'
Last week Mrs A&C walked into the office and caught me backscuttling my secretary across the desk. 'What's the idea?' she ranted. 'Well' I replied 'The idea was that you were out shopping and wouldn't be home for another couple of hours'
But for every cloud there's a silver lining. Lesson learned. A few days later Mrs A&C opened the front door to find a trail of Rose petals that i'd sprinkled over the floor.
They led her down the hallway, into the lounge, round the sofa, back out again and into the kitchen. From there she followed the petals into the dining room, where she did a couple of laps around the dining table.
Confused by now, she was then led back into the hallway, up the stairs, and eventually into our bedroom, where I was waiting naked on the bed.
'I don't know what all that was about,' she said, 'but it's a nice surprise'
My plan had worked perfectly.
I wasn't sure what time she'd be home, so while she was wandering around the house like a retard, my secretary managed to get dressed and sneak out unnoticed.
Up here for thinking, down there for dancing.