Match Ratings Ratings vs Watford

[TheHoddleWaddle]

I got so bored during that game that I decided to do my match ratings in the style of Lionel Bart.

Overall, there were far too many Mr Bumbles and nowhere near enough Artful Dodgers, but special mentions for:

The Referee:

Oliver, Oliver, never before has a ref been so poor.

Trippier:

Consider Yourself well in.
Consider Yourself Man of the Ma-a-atch

Pochettino:

Do you have to pick Sissoko, do you?
Ohhh, do you have to pick Sissoko, do you?

And please, sir, can I have some Moura?


And a special guest appearance by Troy Deeney with 'Food, Glorious Food'.


Overall, what would I do to not have to watch that again?

I'd do anything.

In was looking for the sweet red rose reference to Danny.

Still, we hit the bullseye twice.

 

[DiamondLites]

Lloris motm which tells its own tale. Vertonghen the only other contender

Son gets a 2, which includes a bonus point for tying up his own shoe laces. Genuinely forgot he was playing until someone slagged him off in the match thread

Dembele, Dier and Wanyama having their own personal battle for who can look the most out of their depth vs Ettiene Capoue

Kane looks like he’s running in hummus, yet this was an improvement on recent performances

 

[lukespurs7]

That was the worst game of football I have watched in 15 years.

You can’t watch much football then fella.

 

[St José Dominguez]

Am I allowed to say I'm desperate for Sissoko to leave so I don't have to watch him come on every game without being labelled a shit fan who should get behind players?
Today was a painful watch that just gets worse minute i see him one touching it off and running about pointing. He's in the way of getting minutes to likes of Lucas and I'm terrified Poch loves him and he'll be on bench next season.

 

[EastLondonYid]

Why is Sanchez getting grief compared to most he was fucking pele

 

[felmani26]

I don’t just mean how we played, the game as a general contest. No atmosphere, no quality, awful.

Oh quite, wasn't trying to offer a counter view on tonights performance - well below par, sloppy in and out of possession, you name it!

Fortunate to have faced a side like Watford to be honest.

 

[Spurs_Bear]

You can’t watch much football then fella.

Ok fella.

 

[mark87]

Jan

Can't help but feel the win against Chelsea made the players think that top 4 was secured and their foot has come off the gas.

The loss in the fa cup won't have helped either. Just hope we can get atleast 7 points from our remaining games, I really wanna finish above Liverpool.

 

[TheHoddleWaddle]

Jan

Can't help but feel the win against Chelsea made the players think that top 4 was secured and their foot has come off the gas.

The loss in the fa cup won't have helped either. Just hope we can get atleast 7 points from our remaining games, I really wanna finish above Liverpool.

I'd like that, no, love that. However, I'd like Liverpool to beat Chelsea. I'd rather secure 4th than have bragging rights.
Both would be faptastic.

 

[lukespurs7]

Good win and 3 points, controlled the first half except for some sloppy passing from Dembele and Dier. 2nd half they put more attackers on at 2-0 so we had to soak up a bit more pressure but equally we could’ve and should’ve scored another 2 at least so all in all not the best performance but a good win.

Lloris -8- some important saves

Trippier 7.5 - exactly what I’ve been saying, against mid to lower half table opposition when he can get forward more with mor space he’s decent but agasnt top 6 teams and in CL he’s not good enough and the fact he got beaten 1v1 by his man mabye 4x today reflects that. (I’m being quite critical though as to what we need to take us to the next level as he did have a decent game)

Sanchez 7.5- pretty solid as usual

Jan 8.5- deserved a goal

Davies 7 - standard solid Ben

Dier 6 some good tackles but some very sloppy passes

Dembele 6 see Dier

Son 5 - very off form or knackered or both

Dele 7.5 decent game has his swagger and goal scoring touch back

Eriksen 7 not quite as his usual mesmeric high standards

Kane 7 got a goal, should’ve had 2/3

Poch 7 got job done

Subs:

Wanyama 7 fine

Sissoko -6 industrial but that finish fucks sake so poor and seen him blaze it over so many times, reminds me of Zokora.

Lamela 6.5 - some good passing and movement in a short stint

 

[lukespurs7]

Ok fella.

Glad we agreed on that fella lol
Seriously though worst game in 15 years are you having a laugh yea?!

I’ve seen about 30 games worse than that in the last 15 years! Probably more.

 

[mark87]

I'd like that, no, love that. However, I'd like Liverpool to beat Chelsea. I'd rather secure 4th than have bragging rights.
Both would be faptastic.

Want a draw between them two. Rather have the teams around us pick up two points rather than three.

 

[TheHoddleWaddle]

Want a draw between them two. Rather have the teams around us pick up two points rather than three.

See what you mean. But I'd just like a little more daylight between us and the chavs. Given recent form.

 

[mpickard2087]

Fairly bizarre game, the only consistent being the awful quality served up by both teams.

You have us, who were just going through the motions really. Low tempo with many players often just standing still and not making runs or looking for the ball. If the ball was at the feet of one of our players it was often lost. Off the ball we were crap - press wasn't very good, no great shape or compactness, and often lost runners. Then you have Watford, default is to sit behind the ball but when they do get it will attack with some patience and ambition rather than just a direct ball. Defensively though they are not a great team and will give you chances.

So we got a messy game where we gifted Watford plenty of chances, that they wasted, but even in our sloth-like state we still found chances coming our way, that were also mostly wasted. Along the way, with a bit of help from the opposition, we hit the back of the net twice, but that was grim viewing. we had such a lack of control throughout and we were very lucky to win tonight. I don't think we'll be so lucky in the remaining fixtures if we continue to serve up such half-hearted lethargic displays.

Poch kept faith with the team that has been misfiring in the last few weeks, and I don't think his faith was rewarded in all truth. Bar one pass at the end, Kane was useless if he wasn't teed up for a tap-in (and even some of those he couldn't convert...), Son was again pathetic, and Dembele, after last weeks low, served us up something even worse. The subs bench looks all wrong to me also, with so many of the same players, but that's not going to change is it..... In the end, with us looking unable to get any control of the game, I can understand the changes that were made and just to try and be solid and see out the game, but we didn't even look organised and rock solid in those last few minutes did we.

Quite a big three points at this crunch time of the season, but we look very much like we're stumbling in the last yards and desperately trying to get over the line before we fall flat on our face.

Lloris - Made some saves, though ones that were fairly routine. One good rush from his line to save us when we were in all sorts of trouble.

Trippier - A 90 minutes that kind of encapsulates his whole game. For 60 minutes our main attacking outlet, two assists, has rediscovered how to cross a ball, and probably our MOTM. Then in the last half hour, when he has to defend, serves up some real shite as the Watford players realised he just hangs a leg and hopes every single time, and so beat him for fun after that. Such inconsistency.

Sanchez - Couple of minor faults at times but defended fairly well.

Vertonghen - Very solid game. Unlucky not to come away with a goal and an assist too.

Davies - Meh.

Dier - Sporadically broke up play well and played reasonably accomplished passes in amongst the poor positional play and atrocious attempts at spraying the ball about like a quarterback......

Dembele - It's over.

Eriksen - Ok.

Alli - Managed to kick the ball in the back of the net, apart from that a pretty subdued effort.

Son - Apart from his dart into the channel that largely made the second goal, another pathetic effort.

Kane - Yes he scored, yes he had chances when tap-in's were presented to him, but bar one good pass at the end his all-round game was again completely non-existent and so we lacked a focal point up top. Hold up play was pretty poor, and he still looks no nearer to breaking into a trot.

Subs:
Wanyama - Still doesn't look like he can get round the park very well.
Sissoko - Impressively shovelled a shot over the bar, Offered no midfield protection. Top work.
Lamela - Did some Lamela-y things.

 

[Dillspur]

At this point in the season I'd rather be lucky than good. 3 points is all that matters

 

[lukespurs7]

Good win and 3 points, controlled the first half except for some sloppy passing from Dembele and Dier. 2nd half they put more attackers on at 2-0 so we had to soak up a bit more pressure but equally we could’ve and should’ve scored another 2 at least so all in all not the best performance but a good win.

Lloris -8- some important saves

Trippier 7 - exactly what I’ve been saying, against mid to lower half table opposition when he can get forward more with mor space he’s decent but agasnt top 6 teams and in CL he’s not good enough and the fact he got beaten 1v1 by his man mabye 4x today reflects that. (I’m being quite critical though as to what we need to take us to the next level as he did have a decent game)

Sanchez 7.5- pretty solid as usual

Jan 8.5- deserved a goal

Davies 7 - standard solid Ben

Dier 6.5 some good tackles but some very sloppy passes

Dembele 7 see Dier

Son 5 - very off form or knackered or both

Dele 7.5 decent game has his swagger and goal scoring touch back

Eriksen 7 not quite as his usual mesmeric high standards

Kane 7 got a goal, should’ve had 2/3

Poch 7 got job done

Subs:

Wanyama 7 fine

Sissoko -6 industrial but that finish fucks sake so poor and seen him blaze it over so many times, reminds me of Zokora.

Lamela 6.5 - some good passing and movement in a short stint

@issac94 do tell me why you rated wtf lol?
Love to get your expert insights?

 

[lukespurs7]

Fairly bizarre game, the only consistent being the awful quality served up by both teams.

You have us, who were just going through the motions really. Low tempo with many players often just standing still and not making runs or looking for the ball. If the ball was at the feet of one of our players it was often lost. Off the ball we were crap - press wasn't very good, no great shape or compactness, and often lost runners. Then you have Watford, default is to sit behind the ball but when they do get it will attack with some patience and ambition rather than just a direct ball. Defensively though they are not a great team and will give you chances.

So we got a messy game where we gifted Watford plenty of chances, that they wasted, but even in our sloth-like state we still found chances coming our way, that were also mostly wasted. Along the way, with a bit of help from the opposition, we hit the back of the net twice, but that was grim viewing. we had such a lack of control throughout and we were very lucky to win tonight. I don't think we'll be so lucky in the remaining fixtures if we continue to serve up such half-hearted lethargic displays.

Poch kept faith with the team that has been misfiring in the last few weeks, and I don't think his faith was rewarded in all truth. Bar one pass at the end, Kane was useless if he wasn't teed up for a tap-in (and even some of those he couldn't convert...), Son was again pathetic, and Dembele, after last weeks low, served us up something even worse. The subs bench looks all wrong to me also, with so many of the same players, but that's not going to change is it..... In the end, with us looking unable to get any control of the game, I can understand the changes that were made and just to try and be solid and see out the game, but we didn't even look organised and rock solid in those last few minutes did we.

Quite a big three points at this crunch time of the season, but we look very much like we're stumbling in the last yards and desperately trying to get over the line before we fall flat on our face.

Lloris - Made some saves, though ones that were fairly routine. One good rush from his line to save us when we were in all sorts of trouble.

Trippier - A 90 minutes that kind of encapsulates his whole game. For 60 minutes our main attacking outlet, two assists, has rediscovered how to cross a ball, and probably our MOTM. Then in the last half hour, when he has to defend, serves up some real shite as the Watford players realised he just hangs a leg and hopes every single time, and so beat him for fun after that. Such inconsistency.

Sanchez - Couple of minor faults at times but defended fairly well.

Vertonghen - Very solid game. Unlucky not to come away with a goal and an assist too.

Davies - Meh.

Dier - Sporadically broke up play well and played reasonably accomplished passes in amongst the poor positional play and atrocious attempts at spraying the ball about like a quarterback......

Dembele - It's over.

Eriksen - Ok.

Alli - Managed to kick the ball in the back of the net, apart from that a pretty subdued effort.

Son - Apart from his dart into the channel that largely made the second goal, another pathetic effort.

Kane - Yes he scored, yes he had chances when tap-in's were presented to him, but bar one good pass at the end his all-round game was again completely non-existent and so we lacked a focal point up top. Hold up play was pretty poor, and he still looks no nearer to breaking into a trot.

Subs:
Wanyama - Still doesn't look like he can get round the park very well.
Sissoko - Impressively shovelled a shot over the bar, Offered no midfield protection. Top work.
Lamela - Did some Lamela-y things.

Very good analysis and similar to mine.
You’ll probably also get a wtf from issac94 shortly ?

 

[olliec]

That was the worst game of football I have watched in 15 years.

Oh come on that is a little bit over the top, what about 5-1 Newcastle?

 

[tippspur59]

Was torn between Hugo and Trips, went for Trips in the end.

 

[lukespurs7]

Oh come on that is a little bit over the top, what about 5-1 Newcastle?

What about when we lost 5/6-0 to Liverpool and man.city under AVB?
What about Newport away this year?
What about Burnley 1-1 at home earlier this season? What about so many other games before poch or under AVB or Redknapp when we could’nt break teams down?