The Daily ITK Discussion Thread - 22nd July 2016

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Archibald&Crooks

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Thread starter #1
Good morning all........

Just a quick thread refresh.

'Departure ITK' can be discussed when we have some, this thread isn't for you to list your preferred departures even though we all have a rough idea who might be leaving. Until we get 'proper' ITK regarding sales there's the players threads for all that. We'd also much appreciate it if talk didn't turn to the merits of Coutinho or suchlike as happened yesterday. If there's no ITK, this thread is slow. The players threads however, are thriving. That's how it should be and we thank you for it.

Meanwhile in other news.......

Tomorrow sees the birthday of one of SC's biggest ****s @SargeantMeatCurtains who continues to amaze the mods by not having been banned yet. We're playing the long game. Coincidentally, so is his mum. Anyway, many happy wotsits and all that.......:cautious:

A quick visit to SC's archives reveals a little thing I wrote in May last year. Couldn't leave the BSoDL out of things today now could I? Fill your boots boys, take it seriously! :playful:

Daniel Levy's Pubes

Two hundred and twenty five……..Two hundred and twenty six,……Two hundred and……suddenly the door to his office opened. Daniel Levy leapt to his feet, doing up his flies in a hurry as Joe Lewis burst in. "What are you doing?" Lewis asked. "I was counting my hairs" said Levy. Joe Lewis laughed "But you're as bald as a babies arse, I can tell you right now how many hairs you got shorty, fucking none"

Levy blushed. Why was it Lewis always made him feel uncomfortable? "No" Levy replied, I was counting the hairs on my nutsack. Lewis looked at him, bolt eyed. Levy went on "At the end of every season I send the BSoDL a card thanking them for their support and I sellotape a single pube to each card"

"What the fuck for?" Asked Lewis

"DNA testing. Gotta make sure my bastard sons are genuine" said Levy "Plus one or two of them get a thrill out of it. A Levy-hair is a rare thing, a collectable"

Lewis sat down. "These bastard sons of yours………just how loyal are they?"

Levy smiled. "Unswerving, total and utter devotion. They could come home from work and find me upping their wives and they'd kick her for not baking me a cake……why do you ask?"

Lewis leant back in his chair, put his hands behind his head and smiled. "They might come in useful when you hear this"…….He went on….."We're cancelling the new stadium. I've decided we can play at the New River sports complex near Wood Green"

Levy sat bolt upright. Well, as upright as a dwarf can get, to be honest, its sometimes difficult to tell. He might have been standing. After about thirty seconds he regained the power of speech……..

"There's no way, no fucking way that I can sell that"

Lewis smiled. "Sure you can, you've got the gift of the gab and you have the BSoDL on your side, you said it yourself…..all you have to do is come up with a half decent reason"

Levy simply sat there (or stood, we still don't know). He couldn't believe his ears. Suddenly he emitted a high pitched shriek which was only heard by several dogs within a half mile radius and launched himself across the desk at Lewis. For several seconds they wrestled on the floor, locked in a vice-like death grip. Lewis picked Levy up by the scruff of his neck and drop kicked him across the office, Levy hit the wall, tumbled down it, sprang to his feet and threw himself at Lewis again. All you could hear was a primitive animal like snarling as Levy hissed and scratched at Lewis. Finally, Levy's strength gave way and he collapsed into Lewis' arms sobbing.

"There there Danny, there there" he said soothingly as he stroked his cheek. "Give it to me Uncle Joe, give it to me now" whispered Levy. Lewis smiled and reached into his jacket pocket.

"Here you go" said Lewis as he handed over the envelope, "Here's your 500k pay rise"

Levy's eyes glazed over as he took the envelope "what about the ground?" he asked

"Naaaah" said Lewis, I was only yanking your chain.

"You're a ****" said Levy

Lewis leaned back in his chair and lit the fattest cigar the world has ever seen, puffed on it several times and blew smoke rings into Levys face.

"I know son, I know"………..

Suddenly, from the direction of the pitch singing could be heard

I'm Bee Ess oh Dee Ell
I'm Bee Ess oh Dee Ell
I know I am, i'm sure I am
I'm Bee Ess oh Dee Ell

Lewis and Levy stood and went to the window to watch as Levy's sons gathered to serenade him. "See?" said Lewis……"with devotion like that you can get away with anything"

Levy smiled as a warm glow of affection and pride swept over him. "I think you're right" he said…..

Lewis blew one final smoke ring which hovered exactly above Levy's head before stabbing his cigar into the ashtray

"I'm glad you think so" he said as he put his jacket on. "Now about the ground"…..Levy turned sharply, but Lewis was gone, the door slowly closing shut. All he could hear was laughter fading into the distance.

Levy turned back to the serenading and mumbled one word.

"****"
 

SargeantMeatCurtains

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#4
Meanwhile in other news.......

Tomorrow sees the birthday of one of SC's biggest ****s @SargeantMeatCurtains who continues to amaze the mods by not having been banned yet. We're playing the long game. Coincidentally, so is his mum. Anyway, many happy wotsits and all that.......:cautious:
Thanks for the kind words fella. Since when was 'stars' a censored word?

Also, have you received my mod application yet? I sent it off a while ago and haven't heard anything back yet.
 

dovahkiin

Top notch swords!
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#7
not much proper itk around..
Ojay on coys again on pritchard:
He is 100% leaving, no one has better info on him than me
he doesn't want to leave
poch doesn't want him


windy also said he was leaving
 

Nigel Spinal

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#9
not much proper itk around..
Ojay on coys again on pritchard:
He is 100% leaving, no one has better info on him than me
he doesn't want to leave
poch doesn't want him


windy also said he was leaving
I reckon it has to be about his (lack of) physicality/pressing abilities.
 

Archibald&Crooks

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Don't be gutted. As Dov says it isn't "proper" ITK, its from someone we've not really heard of before and regardless of that, take the obligatory pinch of salt with it otherwise you'll end up one of SC's bi-polar crew. You should have real feelings about it once its played out to a conclusion........Then you can kick your cat up the minge or whatever your preferred method of stress relief might be.
 

doctor stefan Freud

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#11
Don't be gutted. As Dov says it isn't "proper" ITK, its from someone we've not really heard of before and regardless of that, take the obligatory pinch of salt with it otherwise you'll end up one of SC's bi-polar crew. You should have real feelings about it once its played out to a conclusion........Then you can kick your cat up the minge or whatever your preferred method of stress relief might be.
I miss last year's minge wrangling
 

yido_number1

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#13
Don't be gutted. As Dov says it isn't "proper" ITK, its from someone we've not really heard of before and regardless of that, take the obligatory pinch of salt with it otherwise you'll end up one of SC's bi-polar crew. You should have real feelings about it once its played out to a conclusion........Then you can kick your cat up the minge or whatever your preferred method of stress relief might be.
I think I'll climb the crane again in protest!
 

Gb160

I could catch a monkey
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12,330
#14
not much proper itk around..
Ojay on coys again on pritchard:
He is 100% leaving, no one has better info on him than me
he doesn't want to leave
poch doesn't want him


windy also said he was leaving
Disappointed as it doesn't look good for Pritch really, what with him not being in the squad that went to Oz.
 

BPR_U16

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#15
not much proper itk around..
Ojay on coys again on pritchard:
He is 100% leaving, no one has better info on him than me
he doesn't want to leave
poch doesn't want him


windy also said he was leaving
Thought he would make it with us - just shows how injuries at wrong times can affect your chances of playing with a club.
 
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#17
not much proper itk around..
Ojay on coys again on pritchard:
He is 100% leaving, no one has better info on him than me
he doesn't want to leave
poch doesn't want him


windy also said he was leaving
Thanks for posting Dov. I think the injury might have something to do with, but maybe poch just doesn't see him as a fit for our team like he thought. The whole thing has seemed weird since everyone seemed so psyched on him after his loan, and then he signed that new contract. These are the situations when I wish we didn't have such a tight ship because dammit I want to know the details!
 

Hot Spur

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#18
Thought he would make it with us - just shows how injuries at wrong times can affect your chances of playing with a club.
If it's true, it has nothing to do with injuries. If he ticked all the boxes in footballing and non footballing ways, he wouldn't be going. Poch must have seen some thing(s) that we don't see. I would love to know what it is but I doubt we'll ever find out.
 

dk-yid

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#19
Don't be gutted. As Dov says it isn't "proper" ITK, its from someone we've not really heard of before and regardless of that, take the obligatory pinch of salt with it otherwise you'll end up one of SC's bi-polar crew. You should have real feelings about it once its played out to a conclusion........Then you can kick your cat up the minge or whatever your preferred method of stress relief might be.
Fair point though I thought COYS had the same policy on ITK as we do on here in terms of vetting.


I'll go and kick my neighbours cat now. Just to pre-empt any stress...
 

dk-yid

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#20
If it's true, it has nothing to do with injuries. If he ticked all the boxes in footballing and non footballing ways, he wouldn't be going. Poch must have seen some thing(s) that we don't see. I would love to know what it is but I doubt we'll ever find out.
Agree.
Even really good footballers don't make the grade so I wouldn't read too much in to it. Haven't seen enough of him to judge and even if I had my opinions probably still would not be worth listening to.
 
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