Sitting near a numpty

[TottenhamMattSpur]

Todays match was painful enough but to top it off, for most of the first half the guy next to me just talked to the kid next to him about anything. He literally didn't even look at the pitch. Every time a glanced his way his head was turned to the side while he was gassing.

On the up side I had a nice girl sat on the other side who offered me a Polo.

 

[ohtottenham!]

Todays match was painful enough but to top it off, for most of the first half the guy next to me just talked to the kid next to him about anything. He literally didn't even look at the pitch. Every time a glanced his way his head was turned to the side while he was gassing.

On the up side I had a nice girl sat on the other side who offered me a Polo.

Car or mint?

 

[mightyspur]

On the up side I had a nice girl sat on the other side who offered me a Polo.

Shame she didn't offer you a rolo. You would have been in there!

 

[Nocando]

Shame she didn't offer you a rolo. You would have been in there!

Any hole's a goal. I think you were in unless she accompanied the mint with a hand wafting gesture across her mouth.

 

[JohanTheYid]

Had one sat behind me for about 13/15 seasons with a season ticket so far, his favourite habits were:

1) Knowing nothing about the game, like at all, zero, zip, nada
2) When singing "tottenham till I die" song, he would change the words to "tottenham when im dead"
3) Insisting on saying "smallest man on the pitch" whenever a ball was played up to Jermain Defoe, totally ignoring the presence of Aaron Lennon

The worst thing about him giving up his ticket, is that Im now probably the most annoying person in that block, cant help but talk out loud telling the players what to do, apologies fellow block 42'ers !

 

[lillywhites61]

Because of my work commitments I don't get to go as much as I used to, but now I have to sit and listen to my missus when I watch on catch at home, honestly sometimes she is just as bloody bad! I even resort to turning my phone off so I don't know the result and waiting till she has gone to bed now and watching it in peace at night! The lengths I go to, to be a spurs fan

 

[Time for Heroes]

Was sat in front of a tosspot once, he was absolutely obsessed with going backwards and 'starting again'.

'Calm down lads, go back, start again'.

'Thats it, start again'.

'Dont rush it boys, if in doubt start again'.

'Go back, start again'.

'No JJ, just start again.'

It was a boring 0-0 draw which made him even more intolerable.

 

[dcarney75]

I don't really go any more because of the increasingly off-putting cost*numpties interaction.

But I always remember a guy I used to sit near (Block 35) when we had Pascal Chimbonda (first time around I think) who, whenever Chimbonda would do anything - like ANYTHING at all, good or bad - would shout something like "that's it, Pascal, you're the best right back in the league! Best right back in the league!"

 

[spursfan77]

I must have sat in my seat yesterday and said "come on, move the ball faster" about 10 times during the game but all I could think of was this thread and someone waiting to pick me up on my fair but repetitive comment!

 

[TottenhamMattSpur]

Had one sat behind me for about 13/15 seasons with a season ticket so far, his favourite habits were:

1) Knowing nothing about the game, like at all, zero, zip, nada
2) When singing "tottenham till I die" song, he would change the words to "tottenham when im dead"
3) Insisting on saying "smallest man on the pitch" whenever a ball was played up to Jermain Defoe, totally ignoring the presence of Aaron Lennon

The worst thing about him giving up his ticket, is that Im now probably the most annoying person in that block, cant help but talk out loud telling the players what to do, apologies fellow block 42'ers !

I think you've won this thread.

 

[Borks]

I very nearly got in a fight with two large blokes (I'm 5'6) at a pre-season friendly away at Colchester because of an argument about Adebayor

Oh how I laugh about it now.

 

[King of Otters]

Because of my work commitments I don't get to go as much as I used to, but now I have to sit and listen to my missus when I watch on catch at home, honestly sometimes she is just as bloody bad! I even resort to turning my phone off so I don't know the result and waiting till she has gone to bed now and watching it in peace at night! The lengths I go to, to be a spurs fan

My girlfriend occasionally ventures an earnest analysis of a game, club, manager or player when the mood takes her. It's fucking hilarious as she's oblivious to the fact that she has no idea what she's talking about. I keep trying to persuade her to let me film her punditry so I can upload it to Youtube, I'm convinced we'd make a fortune.

 

[TheHoddleWaddle]

Todays match was painful enough but to top it off, for most of the first half the guy next to me just talked to the kid next to him about anything. He literally didn't even look at the pitch. Every time a glanced his way his head was turned to the side while he was gassing.

On the up side I had a nice girl sat on the other side who offered me a Polo.

Better than watching that match surely?

And apologies. It was my dress up day. Didn't mean to lead you on with a polo.

 

[Stoof]

I did enjoy the bloke behind me going "bloody Eriksen, every bloody corner he takes, he can't beat the fucking first man, fucking useless, get him off" as Eriksen trotted up to take the corner that Dier promptly headed in.

 

[TottenhamMattSpur]

I did enjoy the bloke behind me going "bloody Eriksen, every bloody corner he takes, he can't beat the fucking first man, fucking useless, get him off" as Eriksen trotted up to take the corner that Dier promptly headed in.

I didn't say it as I was on my own but I was thinking he was worse at taking corners than a reliant Robin.
Then I decided it was corners from one side he's shit at.

 

[Time for Heroes]

To be fair it was Lamela who was taking shit corners on Sunday not Eriksen.

 

[kungfugrip]

If there was a rockin atmosphere you shouldn't be able to hear people around you doing their own commentary or moaning.

 

[Sandro30]

I did enjoy the bloke behind me going "bloody Eriksen, every bloody corner he takes, he can't beat the fucking first man, fucking useless, get him off" as Eriksen trotted up to take the corner that Dier promptly headed in.

Guy next to me was saying the same thing and I was moaning because Dier was blocking off defenders rather than getting involved. We had a good laugh about it during the celebrations.

 

[llamafarmer]

The last time I had to put up with that kind of thing was at a rugby game recently. A real terrace comedian who couldn't stop loudly cracking jokes and spouting his bullshit analysis on the game throughout, while his 3 mates lapped it up. The weirdest bit was how he latched on to taking the piss out of one the visiting team's staff (probably a physio) for looking like he was still at school - The guy was a perfectly normal bloke who looked like he was in his 20s.

 

[midoNdefoe]

I get the odd misery guts like the guy last night. Completely silent the whole match, not even getting to his feet or celebrating when we scored. Yet the slightest bloody mistake like a stray pass and he mutters "faakkin' usless".

Just, what are you even doing here you miserable ****?

Worst ive had was Besiktas at home, in the west stand - I know, its hardly gonna be jumping!!

No-one cheered throughout the whole game, we scored and it was just a momentary lapse in the sighing and bitching about how shit we are...waiting for us to lose the ball and telling thier mates "i told you he's shit!"

I was taking someone to thier first ever match and they are now under the impression we have the worst support around - to be fair, i couldn't argue with them on that night!!